Fake virus alerts 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, November 8

Thank you, Frank!

Have FUN!

Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Minnesota woman who beat her boss with a metal plate,
claimed she had to, because he was discriminating and
picking on her just because of her being late again.
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1997 Chinese engineers diverted the Yangtze River to make 
 way for the Three Gorges Dam. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Irrigation of the land with seawater desalinated by fusion power is ancient. It's called 'rain'. --- Michael McClary Feel the fear and do it anyway. --- Susan Jeffers It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time. --- Tallulah Bankhead (1903 - 1968) ______________________________________________________ Judy came home from her first day commuting into the city. Her husband noticed she was looking a little peaked and asked, "Honey, are you feeling all right?" "Not really," she replied. "I'm nauseous from sitting backward on the train." "Poor dear," he said. "Why didn't you ask the person sitting across from you to switch seats for a while?" "I couldn't," she replied, "there was no one there." ______________________________________________________ I was helping a friend of mine with his roadside farm stand when a man stopped by and asked how much the eggs were. "Sixty cents for the small, seventy cents for the medium, ninety cents for the large and thirty cents for the cracked ones," I answered. "All right," he said, "crack me a dozen of the large ones." ______________________________________________________ A waitress became violently ill while at work and was rushed by ambulance to the emergency room. In typical hospital fashion, she was placed on an examining table and then all but ignored for the next half-hour. Finally, she noticed a doctor out in the hall and yelled, "Please help me!" "Sorry," he replied, "it's not my table." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Dawn for this picture Click through for the large picture ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to

Waasohn Senite Dorliae, 25, Mendota Heights, Minnesota Attacked Boss Over Worries She Might Be Fired When a woman in Mendota Heights, Minnesota, was reprimanded by her boss for being late, she allegedly reacted by hitting him five times with a metal plate. As a result, she has not only lost her job, but now faces felony assault charges. The alleged incident happened Oct. 30, when the woman, identified as Waasohn Senite Dorliae was angry after her boss scolded her. The victim told the accused that she would most likely not have a job the next day. At that point, Dorliae allegedly picked up a large piece of metal and struck her boss in the face and head at least five times. As a result, the victim suffered multiple cuts on his face, chin, and back of the head. When Dorliae's boss fell to the ground in pain, she walked away, only to turn around and strike him with the metal piece one last time in the knee, according to the complaint. Dorliae admitted hitting her boss, but said she needed to be violent toward him because he was "discriminating," and "nit-picking" on her, CBS Minnesota reports. Dorliae, 25, has been charged with a felony count of second-degree assault. If convicted, she faces a maximum seven years in prison and/or $14,000 fine, but will probably get off a lot easier. Plus she got fired. That most likely means zero UI money.
Tech Support Pits From: Sandra Re: Virus coming Dear Webby! Is this real? VIRUS COMING! I received this from a friend so I’m passing it on to you VIRUS COMING! I received this from a friend so I’m passing it on to you Hi All, I checked with Norton Anti-Virus, and they are gearing up for this virus! I checked Snopes, and it is for real. Get this E-mail message sent around to your contacts ASAP. PLEASE FORWARD THIS WARNING AMONG FRIENDS, FAMILY AND CONTACTS! ... Sandra Dear Sandra That is an ancient hoax, that has been coming around since the days when you were still jail bait and your mom thought you were a good girl. Norton does not "gear up" for any virus. When virus definitions come around from McAfee or Kasperski, they simply add them to their automatic updates. They don't inform certain yahoos about that. It's just daily routine for them. All you have to remember is that real postcards mention the name and email address of the sender, not an anonymous class mate or no-name family member, and real postcards don't have any attachments or anything to download. Real postcards just give you the pick-up number and pick-up URL, and it will be a reputable postcard site, like for example http://actioncat.com or http://angeleyes1.com, etc. Anybody who sends you stupoid fake virus alerts is not only a moron, but apparently considers you a gullible moron. Dump their moron bait, and remember who it was, that assumed you were a gullibhle moron. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
For the second time in six weeks a man had fallen off his horse and broken some ribs. Coincidentally, the doctor in the emergency room at the hospital was the same both times. Since there isn't much that can be done for broken ribs, he prescribed a pain killer and sent the man on his way. As the man turned to leave, he jokingly asked, "Is there anything you can recommend for my horse?" The doctor paused and thought for a moment, then said, "If it were me, I'd get a different rider."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Bamboo Rod With Coffee Mugs Save yourself several cup hooks. Instead of one hook for each cup, use two to hold a slender rod. I used a disassembled bamboo placemat, cost:$1, and it has been used before for similar needs. Slip your cups onto the rod and set it onto the cup hooks. I saved one hook on one side of the cabinet and two on the side with four cups! The cups can still be used with very little effort of carefully lifting an end of the rod off one of the hooks and taking the cup(s) off. My espresso cups are seldom used and take up valuable cabinet space so in hanging them for display they are no longer in the way! By melody_yesterday from Otterville, MO http://www.thriftyfun.com/ ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ A sad Bassett Hound was relating his troubles to his friend. "I'm really depressed all the time and I think negative thoughts. I'm always bored, I feel listless and I am always tired." "Why not go see a psychiatrist?" suggested the friend. "Well, I would," said the Bassett Hound, "except that I'm not allowed on the couch. ______________________________________________________ At the airport check-in counter, I overheard a woman ask for window seats for both herself and her husband. The clerk pointed out that this would prevent them from sitting together. "Sweetie," the woman replied, "I've just spent 10 days of quality time in a compact rental car with this man. I *know* what I'm requesting!"

The Eulogy of the Pillsbury Doughboy

Today in 
1793 The Louvre Museum, in Paris, opened to the public for 
 the first time. 
1805 The "Corps of Discovery" reached the Pacific Ocean. The 
 expedition was lead by William Clark and Meriwether Lewis. 
 The journey had begun on May 14, 1804, with the goal of 
 exploring the Louisiana Purchase territory. 
1887 Doc Holliday died at the age of 35. The gun fighting 
 dentist died from tuberculosis in a sanitarium in Glenwood 
 Springs, CO. 
1895 Wilhelm Roentgen while experimenting with electricity 
 discovered the scientific principle involved and took the 
 first X-ray pictures. 
1910 William H. Frost patented the insect exterminator. 
1923 Adolf Hitler made his first attempt at seizing power 
 in Germany with a failed coup in Munich that came to be 
 known as the "Beer-Hall Putsch." 
1933 The Civil Works Administration was created by executive 
 order by U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt. The organization 
 was designed to create jobs for more than 4 million unemployed 
 people in the U.S. 
1942 The U.S. invaded Morocco and Algeria. 
1942 During World War II, Operation Torch began as U.S. and 
 British forces landed in French North Africa. 
1950 During the Korean conflict, the first jet-plane battle 
 took place as U.S. Air Force Lt. Russell J. Brown shot down 
 a North Korean MiG-15. 
1956 After turning down 18,000 names, the Ford Motor Company 
 decided to name their new car the "Edsel," after Henry Ford's 
 only son. 
1966 Ronald Reagan was elected governor of California. 
1980 Scientists at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in California 
 announced that they had discovered a 15th moon orbiting the 
 planet Saturn. 
1981 Egyptian President Hosni Mubarek asserted that Egypt was 
 "an African State" that was "neither East nor West". 
1986 Vyacheslav M. Molotov died at age 96. During World War II, 
 Molotov ordered the mass production of bottles filled with 
 flammable liquid later called the "Molotov cocktail." 
1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush ordered more troop 
 deployments in the Persian Gulf, adding about 150,000 
 soldiers to the multi-national force fighting against Iraq. 
1991 The European Community and Canada imposed economic 
 sanctions on Yugoslavia in an attempt to stop the Balkan 
 civil war. 
1992 About 350,000 people rallied in Berlin against racist 
1997 Chinese engineers diverted the Yangtze River to make 
 way for the Three Gorges Dam. 
2000 In Florida, a statewide recount began to decide the 
 winner of the 2000 U.S. presidential election. 
2000 Waco special counsel John C. Danforth released his 
 final report that absolved the government of wrongdoing in 
 the 1993 siege of the Branch Davidian compound in Texas. 
2014  smiled.

[ view entry ] ( 13 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 444 )

<<First <Back | 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53 | 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | Next> Last>>