Rural wireless broadband 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, November 10

Have FUN!

Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
man in Florida, who pestered a 911 dispatcher for a date.
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1871 Henry M. Stanley, journalist and explorer, found David 
 Livingstone. Livingston was a missing Scottish missionary 
 in central Africa. Stanley delivered his famous greeting: 
 "Dr. Livingstone, I presume?" 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else's can shorten it. --- Cullen Hightower ______________________________________________________ A woman gets onto a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!" The man says, "There's no call for that. You go right up there and tell him off. Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you." Some day, after the swelling goes down, he will be able to see again. ______________________________________________________ A police officer pulls over a car load of nuns.... Officer: "Sister, this is a 65 MPH highway -- why are you going so slow?" Sister: "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 22, not 65." Officer: "Oh Sister, that's not the speed limit. That's the name of the highway you're on!" Sister: "Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful." At this point the officer looks in the back seat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling. Officer: "Excuse me, Sister, what's wrong with your friends back there? They're shaking something terrible." Sister: "Oh, we just got off of highway 119." Officer: "Ten miles ahead is the 401. The speed limit there is 65, not 401. We DO have jets that go that fast. They will shoot you down if they catch you doing 401." ---- The #401 has been renamed since then to the "Highway of Heroes" to commemorate the soldiers who died in Afghanistan and were repatriated on that highway. ______________________________________________________ Only women of a certain era will fully appreciate this ....true story. A Michigan woman and her family were vacationing in a small new England town where Paul Newman and his family often visited. One Sunday morning, the woman got up early to take a long walk. After a brisk five-mile hike, she decided to treat herself to a double-dip chocolate ice cream cone. She hopped in the car, drove to the center of the village and went straight to the combination bakery/ice cream parlor. There was only one other patron in the store. Paul Newman, sitting at the counter having a doughnut and coffee. The woman's heart skipped a beat as her eyes made contact with those famous baby-blue eyes. With a slow smile, the actor nodded graciously and the star struck woman smiled demurely. Pull yourself together! She chides herself. You're a happily married woman with three grown children, you're fifty years old, not a teenager! The clerk filled her order and she took the double-dip chocolate ice cream cone in one hand and her change in the other. Then she went out the door, avoiding even a glance in Paul Newman's direction. When she reached her car, she realized that she had a handful of change but her other hand was empty. Where's my ice cream cone? Oh for heavens sake did I leave it in the store? Back into the shop she went, expecting to see the cone still in the clerk's hand or in a holder on the counter or something. No ice cream cone was in sight. With that, she happened to look over at Paul Newman. His face broke into his familiar warm friendly grin and he said to the woman, "You put it in your purse." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Dawn for this picture Click through for the large picture ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to

Stephen Ramsey, 45, Naples, Florida Florida man arrested for calling 911 to ask dispatcher for a date Stephen Ramsey, 45, is accused of calling 911 to ask for a date. Not being able to find a date might seem like an emergency, but it's not a reason to call 911. Case in point: Stephen Ramsey, 45, of Naples, Florida was arrested Tuesday after allegedly calling 911 three times and asking the dispatcher if she was interested on going on a date, WZVN TV reports. For the record, she wasn't. Still, Ramsey kept her on the phone for more than six minutes and asked her if she was "into handcuffs," the Florida Sun-Sentinel reports. He then laughed before finally hanging up the phone. A deputy was sent to the suspect's home. Ramsey allegedly told him he was "looking for a date or escort service to help him pass the time." The officer said Ramsey was "slurring his speech heavily" and had a "strong odor of an alcoholic beverage coming from his breath," according to Ramsey was charged with misuse of 911 and is currently in the Collier County Jail on $2,000 bond.
Tech Support Pits From: Sharon Re: Wireless broadband Internet Dear Webby! Dear Webby. I love your humor. I've told many of your jokes to many people. Thanks for sharing them & your pics. I was asked by a friend if there was any wireless internet service she could check into that did not require a land phone line. I believe she uses a cell phone only & does not have cable tv either. I told her I would ask someone who would probably know. Your tech dept has been a lot of help. Sharon Dear Sharon Verizon and a few others have a cell modem. It works slightly better than dial-up, but everybody I know that uses it, hates it. They consider it an emergency measure until they can get back to DSL or cable. Then there is Wireless High Speed Internet in some areas. Some towns have it, but most don't. Many rural areas in Canada have it, but in the US, most don't have it. A lot of businesses in both the US and Canada and many parts of Europe have WiFi, which is basically just a home network with a bit of extra muscle. Most hotels and motels have it by now, also most hamburger joints and coffee shops. Tell her to search online for what is available in HER area. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
An elderly Jewish man is sitting on a park bench reading Louis Farrakhan's newspaper. His best friend walks by, sees the paper, and stops - in shock. "What are you doing reading that paper?" he says. "You should be reading the 'Jewish Journal'!" The elderly man replies, "The Jewish Journal has stories about anti-Semitism, problems in Israel - all kinds troubles of the Jewish people. I like to read about good news." His friend gasps, "WHAT good news could possibly be in that paper???" "Well, Farrakhan's paper says the Jews have all the money, the Jews control the banks, the Jews control the press, the Jews control Hollywood -- see? All *good* news it is!"
Daily tip from Privacy Window Using Contact Paper I decided that I didn't want to use curtains on our bathroom window so I was trying to find an alternative. I looked at the window films that they sell and didn't like how expensive they were. So instead, I purchased a roll of contact paper and cut out shapes that nested together. I did just the lower half of the window to allow light in. The neat part is that clear contact paper actually appears frosted on glass. I absolutely love it! Approximate Time: 2-3 hours By lalala... [495] Complete instructions For about the same price you can get liquid stained glass at all the better craft stores. They have plain colors and many different frostings, that produce actual 3D raised profiles. They also have liquid "lead", which is actually just a silicone in a needle tip squeeze tube. You mark the divisions with anything, that writes on glass. Then run a bead of the "lead" along your traces, and let it dry a few minutes. After that, pour color into each division, and add a drop of frosting, if desired. Done. You can do a window in 5 minutes, not counting time spent dreaming up a design. You can practise on plexiglass, and if your plexiglass is the right size, just snap it onto your window. You can have seasonal stained glass inserts and just change them now and then. From a few feet away you can not tell whether there is actually cut pieces of stained glass leaded together, or liquid stained glass. Just get a few colors and play! You can also practise on unused mirrors. You HAVE to lay them flat for pouring the colors and let them dry a few minutes. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ Four older ladies are sitting around playing bridge. The first lady says, "You know girls, I have known you all a long time and there is something I must get off my chest. I am a Kleptomaniac. But, don't worry, I have never stolen from you and I never will; we have been friends for too long." The second lady says, "Well, since we are having true confessions here, I must get something off my chest too. I am a Nymphomaniac. But don't worry, I have not hit on your husbands. They don't interest me and never will; we have been friends for too long." "Well," says the third lady, "I, too, must confess something. I am a Lesbian. But do not worry, I will not hit on you. You are not my type. We have been friends too long for me to ruin our friendship." The fourth lady stands up, says, "I have a confession to make also. I am an uncontrollable gossip, and I have some phone calls to make!" ______________________________________________________ A little girl was playing quietly while her mom and another lady friend were talking. The little girl let out a big fart. Her mother said "What do you say Suzy?", expecting the reply, "Excuse me." What she said instead was "Watch out, here comes another one!"

this is what NO SNOW looks like

Today in 
1775 The U.S. Marines were organized under authority of the 
 Continental Congress. The Marines went out of existence 
 after the end of the Revolutionary War in April of 1783. 
 The Marine Corps were formally re-established on July 11, 
 1798. This day is observed as the birth date of the United 
 States Marine Corps. 
1801 The U.S. state of Tennessee outlawed the practice of 
1871 Henry M. Stanley, journalist and explorer, found David 
 Livingstone. Livingston was a missing Scottish missionary 
 in central Africa. Stanley delivered his famous greeting: 
 "Dr. Livingstone, I presume?" 
1917 41 suffragists were arrested in front of the White House. 
1928 Michinomiya Hirohito was enthroned as Emperor of Japan. 
1951 Direct-dial, coast-to-coast telephone service began when 
 Mayor M. Leslie Denning of Englewood, NJ, called his 
 counterpart in Alameda, CA. 
1954 The Iwo Jima Memorial was dedicated in Arlington, VA. 
1970 The Great Wall of China opened for tourism. 
1975 The U.N. General Assembly approved a resolution that 
 equated Zionism with racism. The resolution was repealed 
 in December of 1991. 
1975 The Edmund Fitzgerald, an ore-hauling ship, and its 
 crew of 29 vanished during a storm in Lake Superior. 
1976 The Utah Supreme Court gave approval for Gary Gilmore 
 to be executed, according to his wishes. The convicted 
 murderer was put to death the following January. 
1980 CBS News anchor Dan Rather claimed he had been 
 kidnapped in a cab. It turned out that Rather had refused 
 to pay the cab fare. 
1982 Soviet leader Leonid I. Brezhnev died of a heart attack 
 at age 75. He was suceeded by Yuri V. Andropov. 
1982 In Washington, DC, the Vietnam Veterans Memorial was 
 opened to visitors. 
1993 John Wayne Bobbitt was acquitted on the charge of marital 
 sexual assault against his wife who sexually mutilated him. 
 Lorena Bobbitt was later acquitted of malicious wounding her 
1993 The U.S. House of Representatives passed the Brady Bill, 
 which called for a five-day waiting period for handgun purchases. 
1994 U.S. officials announced that it planned to stop enforcing 
 the arms embargo against the Bosnian government the following 
 week. The U.N. Security Council was opposed to lifting the ban. 
1994 Iraq recognized Kuwait's borders in the hope that the action 
 would end trade sanctions. 
1995 Nigeria's military rulers hanged playwright Ken Saro-Wiwa 
 along with several other anti-government activists. 
1995 In Katmandu, Nepal, searchers rescued 549 hikers after a 
 massive avalanche struck the Himalayan foothills. The disaster 
 left 24 tourists and 32 Nepalese dead. 
1997 A jury in Virginia convicted Mir Aimal Kasi of the murder of 
 two CIA employees in 1993. 
1997 A judge in Cambridge, MA, reduced Louise Woodward's murder 
 conviction to manslaughter and sentenced the English au pair 
 to time served. She had served 279 days in the death of 
 8-month-old Matthew Eappen. 
1998 At the White House, "The Virtual Wall" website ( 
 was unveiled. The site allows visitors to experience The Wall 
 through the Internet. 
2001 The World Trade Organization approved China's membership. 
2014  smiled.

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