Keyboard in the dishwasher 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Nonday, November 17

Have FUN!

Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Robber pretends to be 
witness after pizza heist
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1968 NBC cut away from the final minutes of a New York Jets-
 Oakland Raiders game to begin a TV special, "Heidi," on schedule. 
 The Raiders came from behind to beat the Jets 43-32. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
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Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own. --- Doug Larson You get fifteen democrats in a room, and you get twenty opinions. --- Senator Patrick Leahy ______________________________________________________ Elementary Science Some of these are too good to ignore. *Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers. *We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on. *Clouds just keep circling the earth around and around. And around. There is not much else to do up there. *Water vapor gets together in a cloud. When it is big enough to be called a drop, it does. *Rain is often known as soft water, oppositely known as hail. *In some rocks you can find the fossil footprints of fishes. *A blizzard is when it snows sideways. *A monsoon is a French gentleman. *Thunder is a rich source of loudness. *It is so hot in some places that the people there have to live in other places. *The wind is like the air, only pushier. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this story: The woman applying for the job in a Florida lemon grove seemed way too qualified for the job. "Look miss," said the foreman. "Do you have any experience in picking lemons?" "Well, as a matter if fact, yes!" she replied. "I've been divorced three times." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Vicky for this story: A young Jewish mom walks her son to the school bus corner on his first day of kindergarten. "Behave, my bubaleh" she says. "Take good care of yourself and think about your Mother, tataleh!" "And come right back home on the bus, schein kindaleh." "Mommy loves you a lot, my ketsaleh!" At the end of the school day the bus comes back and she runs to her son on and hugs him. "So tell mommy. . . what did my pupaleh learn on his first day of school?" The boy answers, "I've learned that my name is Melvin." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Jean for this picture: Click through for the big picture Rosy Maple Moth ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Joseph Wantz 26 West Boca, Floriduh Robber pretends to be witness after pizza heist Pizza delivery man robbed at gunpoint in West Boca West Boca man accused of robbing a pizza delivery man tried to come forward as a witness and accused his cousin of being the robber, according to a Palm Beach County sheriff's arrest report. Joseph Wantz, 26, faces charges of robbery and aggravated assault with a firearm after the robbery on Tuesday. The Pizza Hut delivery man of two years said he went to a home in the 11000 block of Watergate Circle on 10:30 p.m. after getting an order for $107 worth of pizza, bread sticks and soda. The caller said the food was for a party and then another phone call from another number had a woman asking the driver to bring cash for change, according to the report. But when the driver got there, he told a deputy he grew suspicious when he saw no cluster of cars for a party. That's when Wantz put a gun to the delivery man's head and demanded all the money and food before walking away, according to the report. A deputy said he learned two people had stepped forward as witnesses. One of them was Wantz, who told the deputies he saw the robbery and that his cousin did it, according to the report. As deputies, they got a call on Wednesday about a disturbance between Wantz and another man at a residence. Inside the home, deputies said they saw two empty pizza boxes in the trash. After the delivery man identified Wantz in a photo lineup as the robber, investigators questioned a friend of Wantz's. She said Wantz came up to her at about 1 a.m. Wednesday and showed her a gun and told her he did a "lick," or robbery. Deputies said the gun later was found to be a BB gun. When deputies questioned Wantz, he implicated his cousin in the robbery, the report said. He said his cousin looked similar to him. He went on to say he wasn't "the only one going down for this," according to the report. Wantz was booked into Palm Beach County Jail, where he is held without bail. Tech Support Pits From: Vince Re: Keyboard in the dishwasher Dear Webby! My wife put my fashionably dirty keyboard into the dishwasher. It looks great now, but is it safe to plug in again? Vince Dear Vince Most modern keyboards can handle that without any problem. Take the screws off the back and take the back off, and let it dry half a day face-up and half a day face-down. After that, attach the back cover again and try it. Most likely it will work just fine. Have FUN! DearWebby
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"HANG HIM HIGH, BOYS!! ...Okay, now a little to the left. Oooh! Stop right there. Perfect!"
Daily tip from Problems with Fabric Dryer Sheets I bought a new dryer and continued using those fabric dryer sheets. This dryer would kick off with the clothes not dry. I was thinking the timer was bad so called out a repairman. He changed the sensor in the dryer and told us those "dryer sheets" had coated it, causing a false signal that turned off the dryer. He told us to stop using them. Now we only use liquid with our wash and no more trouble. By Kenneth B. [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ A very thirsty man goes into a bar. He sits down and waits for the bartender to see him. The man next to him calls for the bartender saying, "I'll have another waterloo." The bartender gives him a tall, ice cold drink, then asks the newcomer what he would like to drink. Wanting to try this new drink, he says, "I'll have a waterloo too." The bartender gives him a tall, ice cold drink. The man takes a big drink from the glass and says, "HEY! This isn't any good. It tastes just like water!" The man next to him looks at the bartender and says, "Well, it is water . . . right Lou? ______________________________________________________ Lisa and Linda are walking down the street. Lisa finds a little mirror, and looks in it. She looks again, and again. Puzzled, she says to her friend, "I just know I've seen this face before!" "Give it to me", says Linda. She looks in the mirror and says, "Of course you have, silly! It's me!"

Whitewater Adrenaline Rush: Extreme Kayaking

Today in 
1558 Elizabeth I ascended the English throne upon the death 
 of Queen Mary Tudor. 
1603 Sir Walter Raleigh went on trial for treason. 
1796 Catherine the Great of Russia died at the age of 67. 
1798 Irish nationalist leader Wolfe Tone committed suicide 
 while in jail awaiting execution. 
1869 The Suez Canal opened in Egypt, linking the Mediterranean 
 and the Red seas. 
1903 Russia's Social Democrats officially split into two groups 
 Bolsheviks and Mensheviks. 
1913 The steamship Louise became the first ship to travel 
 through the Panama Canal. 
1913 In Germany, Kaiser Wilhelm banned the armed forces from 
 dancing the tango. 
1922 Siberia voted for union with the U.S.S.R. 
1968 NBC cut away from the final minutes of a New York Jets-
 Oakland Raiders game to begin a TV special, "Heidi," on schedule. 
 The Raiders came from behind to beat the Jets 43-32. 
1970 The Soviet Union landed an unmanned, remote-controlled 
 vehicle on the moon, the Lunokhod 1. The vehicle was released 
 by Luna 17. 
1979 Iran's Ayatollah Khomeini ordered the release of 13 female 
 and black American hostages being held at the U.S. Embassy 
 in Tehran. 
1988 Benazir Bhutto became the first woman leader of an Islamic 
 country. She was elected in the first democratic elections 
 in Pakistan in 11 years. 
1990 A mass grave was discovered by the bridge over the River 
 Kwai in Thailand. The bodies were believed to be those of 
 World War II prisoners of war. 
1997 62 people were killed by 6 Islamic militants outside the 
 Temple of Hatshepsut in Luxor, Egypt. The attackers were 
 killed by police. 
2010 Reasearchers trapped 38 antihydrogen atoms. It was the 
 first time humans had trapped antimatter. 
2014  smiled.

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