Problem with mail from Yahoo groups 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, November 19

Have FUN!

Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Florida dope for backing into opposing taffic and 
almost ramming a deputy.
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1954 Two automatic toll collectors were placed in service 
 on the Garden State Parkway in New Jersey. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
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Television has raised writing to a new low. --- Samuel Goldwyn (1882 - 1974) Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy. --- H. L. Mencken ______________________________________________________ Three convicts were on the way to prison. They were each allowed to take one item with them to help them occupy their time while stuck behind bars. On the bus, one convict turned to another and said, "So, what did you bring?" The second convict pulled out a box of paints and stated that he intended to paint anything he could. He wanted to become the "Grandma Moses of Jail". Then he asked the first, "What did you bring?" The first convict pulled out a deck of cards and grinned and said, "I brought cards. I can play poker, solitaire and gin, and any number of games." The third convict was sitting quietly aside grinning to himself. The other two took notice and asked, "Why are you so smug? What did you bring?" The guy pulled out a box of tampons and smiled. "I brought these." The other two were puzzled and asked - "What can you do with those?" He grinned and pointed to the box and said, "Well according to the box, I can go horseback riding, swimming, roller-skating..." ______________________________________________________ **Diary Of A Regular Joe** For my birthday this year my wife purchased me a week of private lessons at the local health club. Though still in great shape from when I was on the varsity chess team in high school, I decided it was a good idea to go ahead and try it. I called and made reservations with someone named Tanya, who said she is a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and athletic clothing model. My wife seemed very pleased with how enthusiastic I was to get started. They suggested I keep an "exercise diary" to chart my progress: Day 1. Started the morning at 6:00 AM. Tough to get up, but worth it when I arrived at the health club and Tanya was waiting for me. She's something of a goddess, with blond hair and a dazzling white smile. She showed me the machines and took my pulse after five minutes on the treadmill. She seemed a little alarmed that it was so high, but I think just standing next to her in that outfit of hers added about ten points. Enjoyed watching the aerobics class. Tanya was very encouraging as I did my sit ups, though my gut was already aching a little from holding it in the whole time I was talking to her. This is going to be GREAT! Day 2. Took a whole pot of coffee to get me out the door, but I made it. Tanya had me lie on my back and push this heavy iron bar up into the air. Then, she put weights on it, for heaven's sake! Legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made it the full mile. Her smile made it all worth while. Muscles ALL feel GREAT. Day 3. The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the tooth brush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I am certain that I have developed a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer. I parked on top of a Volkswagen. Tanya was a little impatient with me and said my screaming was bothering the other club members. The treadmill hurt my chest so I did the stair monster. Why would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by the invention of elevators? Tanya told me regular exercise would make me live longer. I can't imagine anything worse. Day 4. Tanya was waiting for me with her vampire teeth in a full snarl. I can't help it if I was half an hour late, it took me that long just to tie my shoes. She wanted me to lift dumbbells. Not a chance, Tanya. The word "dumb" must be in there for a reason. I hid in the men's room until she sent Lars looking for me. As punishment she made me try the rowing machine... It sank. Day 5. I hate Tanya more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. If there was any part of my body not in extreme pain I would hit her with it. She thought it would be a good idea to work on my triceps. Well I have news for you Tanya - I don't HAVE triceps. And if you don't want dents in the floor don't hand me any barbells. I refuse to accept responsibility for the damage. YOU went to sadist school, YOU are to blame. The treadmill flung me back into a science teacher, which hurt like crazy. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like a music teacher, or social studies? Day 6. Got Tanya's message on my answering machine, wondering where I am. I lacked the strength to use the TV remote so I watched eleven straight hours of the weather channel. Day 7. Well, that's the week. Thank goodness that's over. Maybe next time my wife will give me something a little more fun, like a gift certificate for a root canal. ______________________________________________________ A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." And why not?" "You know that it always gives you a headache next morning." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Jean for this picture: Click through for the big picture Gapstow Bridge, New York, USA ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Kyndric Wilson, 23, Mary Esther, Floriduh Driver nearly collided with deputy; jailed on drug charges A 23-year-old Mary Esther man was arrested on drug charges after allegedly backing up against traffic, nearly colliding with a deputy. The Okaloosa County Sheriff’s deputy was doing traffic enforcement on Hickory Street in Niceville on Nov. 8, according to the arrest report. He saw a vehicle driven by Kyndric Dallas Wilson backing up “in the opposite direction of traffic onto Range Road,” requiring the deputy to brake to prevent a collision. The deputy pulled Wilson over, and smelled marijuana coming from inside the vehicle, the report said. When asked about the marijuana, Wilson pulled out a small bud from the door and a glass jar with 23.5 grams of marijuana from the back seat. Wilson was arrested and a search found five rocks of crack cocaine in the vehicle, according to the report. He is charged with possession of cocaine and possession of more than 20 grams of marijuana. His next scheduled court date is Dec. 16. Tech Support Pits From: Richb70 Re: Yahoo malfunction Dear Webby! Dear webby , not to be a bother but I'm having trouble receiving my emails from other groups, I looked thru my yahoo addy and it says my account has been suspended? And I don't know why or how, I've talked to comcast about it and they said I needed to reset my pw but that doesn't seem to work and I have no idea what to do, any ideas or thots you can give? I would appreciated it. Even tho I reset my pw its still telling me that my acct is still suspened , this is the first time this has ever happened and I don't know what or why its doing it.. Tyvm I still receive reg emails not group emails, I find it kind or weird that this is just started happening Richb Dear Richb70 That is normal and to be expected from Yahoo. They do that to all the yahoos every now and then, for no apparent reason. Just routine Yahoo malfunction. You can try screeching a temper tantrum at Yahoo support, sometimes that helps. I am a member of the "Freecycle" group, a clean and well behaved group with a very low volume of mail, but half the time it does not work either. Since the group organizers refuse to move away from Yahoo, there is nothing anybody can do about it. Except laugh at the thilly yahoos. Have FUN! DearWebby
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>From Edsel Discovering that I'd overslept, I abandoned my usual morning routine and rushed out. In the van, though, I realized I had time to stop for a take-out coffee. I got my coffee and returned to the van, only to find I had not only left it running but had locked it! The day was going from bad to worse. I returned to the shop, sheepishly explained my situation to the clerk and asked if I could borrow a broom. I managed to open a side window and pop the lock on the back door using the broom handle. When I returned the broom, the clerk said, "I know you're having a bad day, but..." "I know, I know," I interrupted. "You want to know how I can unlock my van with a broom." "No," she said. "I wanted to tell you that your shirt is on inside out."
Daily tip from Remedies for Athlete's Foot To treat fungus on feet, soak feet in white vinegar for at least 20 minutes each time. Continue three days in a row and the fungus should be done. By duckie-do from Cortez, CORemedies for Athlete's Foot Rubbing the feet, especially between toes and on toenails with freshly cut potato pieces 2 - 3 times a day is also said to be effective, if you don't have any vinegar in the house. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ >From Barb I know my company has made a big effort to be family friendly, but I was baffled when I read this holiday an- nouncement posted on the bulletin board: "All employees are invited to the annual Christmas party. All children under the age of ten will receive a gift from Santa. Employees who have no children may bring grandchildren." ______________________________________________________ Jimmie, an 80-year-old gentleman, retired to Florida after his wife of 58 years had passed away. He was quite alone in the world and longed for companionship. One day, as he was walking through a public park, he spied what he considered to be a very pretty silver-haired lady sitting alone on a park bench. Getting his nerve up, he approached the lady and asked graciously, "Pardon me, ma'am, but may I sit here with you." The silver-haired Marcia looked up to see a distinguished looking white-haired gentleman and replied, "Why certainly," and scooted over gently to give him room to sit down. For the next two hours the two sat and talked about everything. They discovered that they came from the same part of the country, liked the same big band music, voted for the same presidential candidates, had long happy marriages and lost their spouses in the last year, and in general agreed about almost everything. Finally, the old gentleman cleared his throat and asked sheepishly, "Ma' am, may I ask you two questions?" With great anticipation Marcia replied, "Why certainly!" The old gentleman removed a handkerchief from his coat pocket and spread it out on the ground before her. He very gingerly got down on one knee and looked her softly in the eyes. "Marcia, I know we've only known each other for a couple of hours, but we have so much in common. I feel I have known you all my life. Will you marry me and be my wife?" Marcia grabbed at Jimmie's hands and said, "Why, yes, I will marry you! You have made me so very happy!" She reached over and kissed him gently on the cheek. Then Marcia said, "You said you had two questions to ask me. What is the second question?" Jimmie scratched his neck and said, "Will you help me get up?"

FoxTail Lily

Today in 
1794 Britain's King George III signed the Jay Treaty. It 
 resolved the issues left over from the Revolutionary War. 
1850 The first life insurance policy for a woman was issued. 
 Carolyn Ingraham, 36 years old, bought the policy in 
 Madison, NJ. 
1863 U.S. President Lincoln delivered his Gettysburg Address 
 as he dedicated a national cemetery at the site of the Civil 
 War battlefield in Pennsylvania. 
1893 The first newspaper color supplement was published in 
 the Sunday New York World. 
1895 The "paper pencil" was patented by Frederick E. 
1919 The U.S. Senate rejected the Treaty of Versailles with 
 a vote of 55 in favor to 39 against. A two-thirds majority 
 was needed for ratification. 
1928 "Time" magazine presented its cover in color for the 
 first time. The subject was Japanese Emperor Hirohito. 
1942 During World War II, Russian forces launched their 
 winter offensive against the Germans along the Don front. 
1954 Two automatic toll collectors were placed in service 
 on the Garden State Parkway in New Jersey. 
1959 Ford Motor Co. announced it was ending the production 
 of the unpopular Edsel. 
1969 Apollo 12 astronauts Charles Conrad and Alan Bean made 
 man's second landing on the moon. 
1970 Hafiz al-Assad seized power in Syria. 
1977 Egyptian President Anwar Sadat became the first Arab 
 leader to set foot in Israel on an official visit. 
1981 U.S. Steel agreed to pay $6.3 million for Marathon Oil. 
1990 NATO and the Warsaw Pact signed a treaty of nonaggression
1994 The U.N. Security Council authorized NATO to bomb rebel 
 Serb forces striking from neighboring Croatia. 
1997 In Carlisle, IA, septuplets were born to Bobbi McCaughey. 
 It was only the second known case where all seven were born 
1998 The impeachment inquiry of U.S. President Clinton began. 
1998 Vincent van Gogh's "Portrait of the Artist Without Beard" 
 sold at auction for more than $71 million. 
2002 The oil tanker Prestige broke into two pieces and sank 
 off northwest Spain. The tanker lost about 2 million gallons 
 of fuel oil when it ruptured November 13th and was towed 
 about 150 miles out to sea. 
2002 The U.S. government completed its takeover of security 
 at 424 airports nationwide. 
2014  smiled.

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