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Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, November 28
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

Thank you, Nancy!

Have FUN!

Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Floriduh woman, who took swig of vodka 
during DUI stop
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1520 - Portuguese navigator Ferdinand Magellan reached the Pacific Ocean 
  after passing through the South American strait. The strait was named 
  after him. He was the first European to sail the Pacific from the east. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
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Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. --- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956) ______________________________________________________ Two Jews had businesses on the same street. One had customers coming and going and the other, well, maybe two or three a day. Finally, Morris, whose business was doing badly, decided to visit Shapiro, who was doing very well. Going in the door, he saw a large banner over the entrance which read : "GOING OUT OF BUSINESS SALE." Morris wanted to know why Shapiro was going out of business, since he seemed to be doing so well. Shapiro confided, "That sign has been in my window for almost 18 years. If I took it down, I would go out of business." ______________________________________________________ Sometimes you will cry, and no one will see your tears Sometimes you will laugh, and no one will see you smile Sometimes you will fear, and no one will see you shudder Sometimes you will fall, and no one sees you struggle Sometimes you will be late, and no one seems to notice But fart just one time ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Dawn for sending this picture: Click through for the big picture Massachusetts Fall ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Frances Riney 66 of Port St. Lucie Floriduh Woman took swig of vodka during DUI stop Looks like she had her drivers license, registration and 100% proof insurance. When a deputy asked a driver, identified as Frances Riney, of Port St. Lucie, for her driverís license, she handed him a bag of chips, records show. In Riney's second attempt to hand over her license, she handed the deputy water and then took a swig of vodka from a bottle, deputies said. Riney allegedly then told the deputy she'd had enough booze and was driving home. I haven't got the details yet, but I have a hunch the deputies disagreed with the driving part of that statement. The mug shot appears to be from a previous incident. Tech Support Pits From: Christine Re: Change Icon text but nothing else Dear Webby You taught me once how to do this on Windows 98, and I remembered it for XP, but for Windows 7 it seems I need different cusswords. Why? And how do I get around the limpwristed faggy Aero fading nonsense, that is just wasting time and does NOT belong onto a working machine? Is it time to step up to Linux? Christine Dear Christine Why? W7 was mostly done in Asia by people, who could not get into the US to become 7-11 staffers. They screwed up the user interface, but lucky for you and me, they missed one of the many themes. Right-click on the desktop Personalize Go way down to Windows 7 Basic Select that to get away from the thilly fading Then go a bit further down And then click on Window Color Yeah, right, as intuitive as a Taliban trying to fake blonde logic! However, inside that is the old Windows 95 TweakUI, 98, XP personalization, that they somehow forgot to screw up! There you can set the color of your top bars to green fading to blue for active, and wine fading to gray for inactive, just like you had since Windows 95, and you can set Icons, icon text fonts, sizes, colors, and all the customizations you are used to. When done, save it as a theme with your name. Whether it is time to step up to Linux, that depends on you. Don't do it alone! First lurk on Linux forums and gradually get to know some people. Some are smart-ass kids, but most are friendly and helpful. Latch on to one and discuss migrating to Linux. With a friendly "Godfather" helping you, it will be a breeze. If you still have your old XP, that would make it a lot easier. Even a 12 year old XP will be twice as fast as a brand new W7 or W8 computer. With Linux it will be more than good enough. Then you can network them and transfer files, and gradually migrate to Linux. That eliminates the fear, that you might be in a new operating system and not able to get forgotten files. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Thanks to Sandie for this story: Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, "Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk," worth 70 points or none at all. One student , in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages. He wrote: 1.) It is perfect formula for the child. 2.) It provides immunity against several diseases. 3.) It is always the right temperature. 4.) It is inexpensive. 5.) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa. 6.) It is always available as needed. And then, the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation, just before the bell indicating the end of the test rang, he wrote... 7.) It comes in cute containers. He got an A
Daily tip from New Year, New Calendar >From Cindy How reliable is that Mymemorizer, that you praised so highly? Cindy Dear Cindy I have used it probably about 15 years, and it has never malfunctioned. You can access it from different devices, and you can even tell it to send the reminders as txt to your phone. You can use different colors for different doctors or family members, and there are probably some features, that I have not come across yet. There is some help and manual, but so far I have not needed them. Try it, it's free anyway! Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ A customer was so infatuated with his waitress he decided to ask her for a date, but couldn't get her attention. When he was able to catch her eye, she quickly looked away. Finally he followed her into the kitchen and confronted her. With a total lack of finesse, he blurted out his invitation. To his amazement, she readily consented. He said, "Why have you been avoiding me since you served me? You wouldn't even make eye contact." "Oh," replied the waitress, "I thought you wanted more coffee." ______________________________________________________ Lost Gas Cap Daniel filled his car with gas at a self-service gas station. After he had paid and driven away, he realized that he had left the gas cap on top of his car. He stopped and looked and, sure enough, it was lost. Well, he thought for a second and realized that other people must have done the same thing, and that it was worth going back to look by the side of the road since even if he couldn't find his own gas cap, he might be able to find one that fit. Sure enough, he hadn't been searching long when he found a gas cap. He tried it on, and it went into place with a satisfying click. "Great," Daniel thought, "I lost my gas cap, but I found another one that fits. "And this one's even better because it locks!"

Turkey leftover recipes

Today in 
1520 - Portuguese navigator Ferdinand Magellan reached the Pacific Ocean 
  after passing through the South American strait. The strait was named 
  after him. He was the first European to sail the Pacific from the east. 
1582 - William Shakespeare and Anne Hathaway were married. 
1922 - Capt. Cyril Turner of the Royal Air Force gave the first public 
  exhibition of skywriting. He spelled out, "Hello USA. 
  Call Vanderbilt 7200" over New York's Times Square. 
1925 - The Grand Ole Opry made its radio debut on station WSM. 
1942 - 491 people died in a fire that destroyed the Coconut Grove
  in Boston. 
1953 - New York City began 11 days without newspapers due to a strike 
  of photoengravers. 
1958 - The African nation of Chad became an autonomous republic 
  within the French community. 
1963 - U.S. President Johnson announced that Cape Canaveral 
  would be renamed Cape Kennedy in honor of his assassinated 
  predecessor. The name was changed back to Cape Canaveral in 
  1973 by a vote of residents. 
1964 - The U.S. launched the space probe Mariner IV from Cape 
  Canaveral on a course set for Mars. 
1978 - The Iranian government banned religious marches. 
1979 - An Air New Zealand DC-10 flying to the South Pole 
  crashed in Antarctica killing all 257 people aboard. 
1983 - The space shuttle Columbia took off with the STS-9 Spacelab 
  in its cargo bay. 
1987 - A South African Airways Boeing 747 crashed into the Indian 
  Ocean. All 159 people aboard were killed. 
1990 - Margaret Thatcher resigned as prime minister of Britain. 
1992 - In King William's Town, South Africa, black militant gunmen 
  attacked a country club killing four people and injuring 20. 
1994 - Jeffrey Dahmer, a convicted serial killer, was clubbed to 
 death in a Wisconsin prison by a fellow inmate. 
1994 - Norwegian voters rejected European Union membership. 
1995 - U.S. President Clinton signed a $6 billion road bill that 
  ended the federal 55 mph speed limit. 
2010 - WikiLeaks released to the public more than 250,000 U.S. 
  diplomatic cables. About 100,000 were marked "secret" or 
2014  smiled.

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