Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, December 1

Thursday, December 4, I have to go to Calgary for 
injections into my eyeballs. That means no newsletters
for Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Some southerners asked
What is "noisy snow when walking" ?

When the temperatures are below about -25, then walking
in tracks or on packed snow produces a creaking sound 
like a barn door, that has not been oiled for twenty years.

"Florida teena..." Was that a typo, or a new way to mention
a female teen?"

Sorry, just a typo for now. However, it just might catch on!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Texas woman arrested for $6400 sausage heist
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1990 British and French workers digging the Channel Tunnel 
 finally met under the English Channel.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
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If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!









When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear 
and life stands explained.
--- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)

______________________________________________________

Thanks to Louis for sending this Classic:
The father, a poor farmer save every penny for years so he 
could afford to send his son to a High School.
 
Graduation day finally came and son returned home. 
A big party was held where all the neighbours from miles
were invited.  When all guests settled down with a few shots of 
corn whiskey,  the father called for everyone’s attention.
 
He reminded everyone present of all the sacrifices he had made 
for so many years so he could educate his only son. He then 
introduced his boy as the most educated fellow in them thar hills.
Father said : Cmon son, say something real clever to these folks.
� 
The shy young boy was embarrassed to tears and had no idea 
what to say.  So he said first thing that came to mind 
Pi R Square�.

For you old folks that's forgot that's the area of a circle.

The old man flipped a biscuit "You mean to tell me that I wasted
all that money sending you to school an yah learnt nothing.?
Everybody knows  PIE ARE ROUND – CAKE ARE SQUARE

______________________________________________________

There are three religious truths:
 1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
 2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the
       Christian faith.
 3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at
       Hooters

______________________________________________________

Thanks to Dawn for this picture:


Click through for the big picture
Minnesota Fall

______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!

______________________________________________________

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to


Regina Shaw
45
San Antonio,
Texas

Woman arrested for $6400 sausage heist

A Texas woman was arrested yesterday for stealing more than 
$6400 worth of sausage from the Kiolbassa Provision Company, 
a San Antonio firm that has been smoking meat since 1949.

According to an arrest affidavit, Regina Shaw, 45, was linked 
to the September 14 theft via surveillance footage that 
recorded her taking a “pallet of meat product” from the 
purveyor.

Shaw, who worked for the firm, was charged with felony theft 
and booked into the Bexar County jail. 
She was subsequently released on $5000 bond.

As detailed by a San Antonio Police Department detective, 
Shaw allegedly fenced a portion of the meat through a man 
who “purchased some boxes of Kiolbassa sausage” from her. 
The man later accepted “more Kiolbassa” in payment for a 
loan that he had given Shaw.

During a police photo lineup last month, the man, identified 
as Peter Medellin, picked out Shaw “as the female that he 
purchased the meat product from.” 
The police affidavit does not list the total weight of the 
purloined sausage, nor how Shaw made her getaway with 
the meat.

Seen in the above mug shot, Shaw was fired from her job 
with the Kiolbassa Provision Company, which sells a wide 
variety of sausages, including an “all-Pork Chorizo” and 
“Beef & Cheddar Smoked Sausage.” 
The link to  Mail Washer is here! 
Tech Support Pits
From: Carolyn
Re: Thumbnails to save disk space

Dear Webby
Dear Webby
I have heard that it takes a lot of space on my computer to
have pictures of family and friends in folders and that I
should make thumbnails instead. Is this true?
Thanks. I enjoy your Humor Letter very much.
Carolyn


Dear Carolyn
Whoever told you that nonsense, should be put on a strict
diet of Smarties, and should not allowed out of the funny
farm without competent supervision.

There is probably a lot of useless stuff on your computer,
that can be dumped, and replaced if needed.
However, pictures of your friends and family can not be replaced.
They have more rights to be on your computer and on your
back-up than ANY of the replaceable crap.
Especially silly games that can be downloaded again.

You can always get a second hard drive cheap. 
But pictures of friends and relatives are not replaceable.
How many of the people at the last family reunion are still 
alive?

I make thumbnails IN ADDITION to the regular size pictures,
to make menuing and sorting easier, but I never reduce good
pictures to thumbnail size without keeping them in original
or at least regular size.

You can at any time shrink pictures, but you can not expand
them without making them look awful. When you click through
the thumbnail for the daily picture, you get to the separate
full size picture, not a zoomed view of the thumbnail.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!










There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number 
at 4 A.M. It could be a right number.


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Acorn Cookies
These simple acorn cookies are a great treat for a fall 
party.

Approximate Time: 15 minutes

Ingredients:
1 package mini Nutter Butter cookies
1 package Hershey's Kisses
1/2 cup Wilton decorator icing
mini chocolate chips
brown icing color
Steps:
I chose to sort through the Nutter Butters and remove ones 
that were no longer sandwiches. (I didn't waste them though
...I ate them!)
Color your icing to the desired shade of brown. Then place 
it into a sandwich bag and snip off one corner, to make a 
piping bag. Pipe a blob onto one side of the cookie, then 
press a Kiss onto the cookie.
Then turn the cookie over and place a tiny dot of icing onto 
the center of the cookie. Press a mini chocolate chip into 
the icing.
By lalala... [519]

______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request. 
______________________________________________________

Every revolutionary idea - in science, politics, art, or
whatever - evokes three stages of reaction in a hearer:

1. It is completely impossible - don't waste my time. 

2. It is possible, but it is not worth doing. 

3. I said it was a good idea all along

______________________________________________________

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true,"
she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be
taken for the rest of my life"? 

Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her. 

There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, 
"I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition. This
prescription is marked "NO REFILLS"






Sequsoias Scaling a Forest




Today in 
1835 Hans Christian Andersen published his first book of 
 fairy tales.
1913 Ford Motor Co. began using a new movable assembly line 
 that ushered in the era of mass production. 
1913 The first drive-in automobile service station opened,
 in Pittsburgh, PA. 
1925 The Locarno Pact finalized the treaties between WWI 
 protagonists, setting the causes for WWII.
1934 Sergei M. Kirov, a collaborator of Joseph Stalin, was 
 assassinated at the Leningrad party headquarters. 
1941 In the U.S., the Civil Air Patrol was created. In April 
 1943 the Civil Air Patrol was placed under the jurisdiction 
 of the Army Air Forces. 
1942 In the U.S., nationwide gasoline rationing went into effect. 
1952 In Denmark, it was announced that the first successful sex-change 
 operation had been performed. 
1955 Rosa Parks, a black seamstress in Montgomery, AL, refused 
 to give up her seat to a white man. Mrs. Parks was arrested marking 
 a milestone in the civil rights movement in the U.S. 
1959 12 countries, including the U.S. and USSR, signed a treaty 
 that set aside Antarctica as a scientific preserve, which would 
 be free from military activity. 
1965 An airlift of refugees from Cuba to the United States began. 
1969 The U.S. government held its first draft lottery since 
 World War II. 
1984 A remote-controlled Boeing 720 jetliner was deliberately 
 crashed into California's Mojave Desert to test an anti-flame 
 fuel additive. The test proved to be disappointing. 
1986 U.S. President Ronald Reagan said he would welcome an 
 investigation of the Iran-Contra affair if it were 
 recommended by the Justice Department. 
1987 NASA announced four companies had been given contracts 
 to help build a space station. The companies were Boeing 
 Aerospace, G. E.'s Astro-Space Division, McDonnell Douglas 
 Aeronautics, and Rocketdyne Division of Rockwell International. 
1989 Dissidents in the Philippine military launched an 
 unsuccessful coup against Corazon Aquino's government. 
1989 East Germany's Parliament abolished the Communist Party's 
 constitutional guarantee of supremacy. 
1990 Iraq accepted a U.S. offer to talk about resolving 
 the Persian Gulf crisis. 
1990 British and French workers digging the Channel Tunnel 
 finally met under the English Channel. 
1991 Ukrainians voted overwhelmingly for independence from 
 the Soviet Union. 
1992 Russian President Boris Yeltsin survived an impeachment 
 attempt by hard-liners at the opening of the Russian Congress. 
1994 The U.S. Senate gave final congressional approval to the 
 124-nation General Agreement on Tariffs and Trade. 
1998 Exxon announced that it was buying Mobil for $73.7 billion 
 creating the largest company in the world to date. 
2014  smiled.

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