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Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, December 2

Thursday, December 4, I have to go to Calgary for 
injections into my eyeballs. That means no newsletters
for Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Have FUN!

Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Harvard Extension student, who fell naked through bathroom 
ceiling, bit old man's ear off
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1969 The Boeing 747 jumbo jet got its first public preview as 
 191 people flew from Seattle, WA, to New York City, NY. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
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In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act. --- George Orwell (1903 - 1950) Genius without education is like silver in the mine. --- Benjamin Franklin: A psychologist once said that we know little about the conscience except that it is soluble in alcohol. --- Thomas Blackburn We don't see things as they are; we see things as we are." --- Anais Nin ______________________________________________________ >From Dave A couple of hours into a visit with my mother, she noticed I hadn't once lit up a cigarette. "Are you trying to kick the habit?" she asked. "No," I replied. "I have a cold, and I don't smoke when I'm not feeling well." "You know," she observed, "you'd probably live longer if you were sick more often." ______________________________________________________ A very spiritual, devout and holy priest dies and is immediately swept up to heaven. St. Peter greets him at the Pearly Gates, and says, "Hello, Father, we've been waiting for you for a long time. Welcome to Heaven! You are very well known here, and as a special reward, because you are such a spiritual and holy man, we're going to grant you anything you wish even before we enter Heaven. What can I grant you?" "Well", the priest says, "I've always been a great admirer of the Virgin Mother. I've always wanted to ask her a question." St. Peter nods his head to one side, and lo and behold who should approach the priest but the Virgin Mary! The priest is beside himself, and he manages to say, "Mother, I have always been a great admirer of yours, and have studied everything I could about you and followed your life as best I could. I have studied every painting and portrait ever made of you, and I've noticed that you are always portrayed with a slightly sad look on your face. I have always, always wondered what it was that made you sad. Would you please tell me?" "Well", says Mother Mary, "to tell the truth, I was really hoping for a girl." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Victor for this picture: Click through for the big picture You voted for WHOOOOO ?? ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Cameron Shenk 26 Boston MA Harvard Extension student fell naked through bathroom ceiling, bit old man's ear off A 26-year-old Harvard Extension School student is being held without bail after he allegedly fell naked through the ceiling of a women's bathroom in Boston's Logan Airport and then bit an 84-year-old man's ear off, according to CBS News. A Boston man who police say fell naked through the ceiling of a women's bathroom at Boston's airport and then assaulted 84 year old an elderly man has been ordered held without bail pending a hearing next week. Cameron Shenk was arraigned Wednesday on charges that include attempted murder, assault and battery on a person over 60, and lewd and lascivious conduct. Police say the 26-year-old Shenk fell through the ceiling at about noon Saturday. He had allegedly snuk into the bathroom, undressed inside a stall and climbed into the ceiling crawl space. Police say he then fled the bathroom and assaulted an 84-year-old man. Shenk's lawyer said he is a student studying economics at Harvard Extension School and has no history of mental illness. A hearing to determine whether he is dangerous to the public is scheduled Monday. Tech Support Pits From: Chuck Re: Camera deals Dear Webby Dear Webby, Thanks for all your great advice and jokes. I remember your suggestion to get a top of the line camera that's 1-2 years old for finding a quality camera at a good price. I'm trying to do that, but don't know where to start to find these old "top of the line" cameras. Can you tell me somewhere I can start looking. Any good suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks, Chuck Dear Chuck Try Pricegrabber I see a mighty Canon Powershot G1-X there for $110 A few years ago the magazine reviewers, -who never had to pay for a camera because they get all of them free to review-, could not stop gushing about that camera. Sure, there are some newer models now, that may or may not offer more to a professional photographer, but the G1-X is still just as awesome as it was when it came out. There are lots of excellent cameras there. Pick one that fits your budget, and you will get a great deal. Have FUN! DearWebby
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TRICK OR TREATING BY STAR SIGN Aries pushes the others aside to get to the door first. Taurus will only eat the finest of Swiss chocolates. Gemini goes around the neighbourhood once, changes costumes and goes around again. Cancer stays at home and gives candy to the other trick-or-treaters. Leos plan their costume for months, then won't go out because someone else had the same idea. Virgo wears a neatly-pressed suit and tells everyone they're a bookkeeper. Libra is still standing in front of the closet trying to decide on a costume. Scorpio isn't in it for the candy. Sagittarius will manage to wander to the next town. Capricorn makes a list of all the houses that give good candy and the optimal route to take. Aquarius builds the costume out of spare flashlights and spends all night tinkering when it shorts. Pisces skips the whole thing to compose poetry to the Moon.
Daily tip from Cake Mix Cookies I love quick recipes! These have only 4 ingredients (one of which is water) and are super fluffy. They are also lower in fat than most cookies, as there is only 4 tablespoons of shortening in the entire batch. I made mine with devil's food cake mix, but will soon be trying angel food among others. Approximate Time: 15-20 minutes Yield: 24 cookies Ingredients: 1 box devil's food cake mix 2 eggs 4 Tbsp shortening, melted 6 Tbsp water Steps: Add cake mix, 2 beaten eggs, 4 tablespoons melted shortening and 6 tablespoons water to a bowl and blend well. Drop by large tablespoons full onto greased cookie sheets. Bake in a 350 degree F oven for 11 minutes. Put in hand, bring to mouth, chew. Now smile.:) Repeat. Source: I modified a recipe from "Money Saving Recipes". By melissa [39] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ Mother had decided to trim her household budget wherever possible, so instead of having a dress dry-cleaned she washed it by hand. Proud of her savings, she boasted to my father, "Just think, Fred, we are five dollars richer because I washed this dress by hand." "Good," my dad quickly replied. "Wash it again!" ______________________________________________________ The old town blacksmith realised he couldn't work so hard anymore. He picked out strong young Bill Deville to become his apprentice. The old fellow was impatient and exacting. "Don't ask me a lot of questions," he told Bill, "Just do whatever I tell you to do." One day the old blacksmith took an iron out of the forge and laid it on the anvil. "Get the hammer over there," he said. "When I nod my head, hit it real good and hard." Bill is looking for a new apprenticeship.

Piccadilly Circus

Today in 
1804 Napoleon was crowned emperor of France at the Cathedral 
 of Notre Dame in Paris. 
1823 U.S. President James Monroe outlined his doctrine opposing 
 European expansion in the Western Hemisphere. 
1901 Gillette patented the KC Gillette Razor. It was first razor 
 to feature a permanent handle and disposable double-edge 
 razor blades. 
1917 During World War I, hostilities were suspended on the 
 eastern front. 
1927 The Ford Motor Company unveiled the Model A automobile. 
 It was the successor to the Model T. 
1939 New York's La Guardia Airport began operations as an 
 airliner from Chicago landed at 12:01 a.m. 
1942 A self-sustaining nuclear chain reaction was demonstrated 
 by Dr. Enrico Fermi and his staff at the University of Chicago.
1954 The U.S. Senate voted to condemn Sen. Joseph R. McCarthy 
 for what it called "conduct that tends to bring the Senate 
 into dishonor and disrepute." The censure was related to 
 McCarthy's controversial investigation of suspected 
 communists in the U.S. government, military and civilian 
1961 Cuban leader Fidel Castro declared in a nationally 
 broadcast speech that he was a Marxist-Leninist and that he 
 was going to lead Cuba to communism. 
1969 The Boeing 747 jumbo jet got its first public preview as 
 191 people flew from Seattle, WA, to New York City, NY. 
1990 Chancellor Hekmut Kohl's coalition won the first free 
 all-German elections since 1932. 
1990 The Midwest section of the U.S. prepared for a massive 
 earthquake predicted by Iben Browning. Nothing happened. 
1993 Colombian drug lord Pablo Escobar was shot to death by 
 security forces in Medellin. 
1993 The space shuttle Endeavor blasted off on a mission to 
 fix the Hubble Space Telescope. 
1994 The U.S. government agreed not to seek a recall of allegedly 
 fire-prone General Motors pickup trucks. Instead a deal was made 
 with GM under which the company would spend more than $51 million 
 on safety and research. 
1995 NASA launched a U.S.-European observatory on a $1 billion 
 dollar mission intended to study the sun. 
1998 Microsoft Corp. chairman Bill Gates donated $100 million to 
 help immunize children in developing countries. 
1999 The British government transferred political power over the 
 province of Northern Ireland to the Northern Ireland Executive. 
2001 Enron Corp. filed for Chapter 11 reorganization. The filing 
 came five days after Dynegy walked away from a $8.4 billion 
 buyout. It was the largest bankruptcy in U.S. history. 
2010 NASA announced the discovery of a new arsenic-based life form. 
2014  smiled.

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