Assigning sounds to events 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, December 3

Tomorrow, Thursday, December 4, I have to go to Calgary 
for injections into my eyeballs. That means no newsletters
for Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Have FUN!

Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
Illinois man, who fell through ice into Fox River 
trying to escape Elgin police.
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1999 The World Trade Organization (WTO) concluded a four-day 
 meeting in Seattle, WA, without setting an agenda for a new 
 round of trade talks. The meeting was met with fierce protests 
 by various groups who had no clue, what the meeting was about
 or what they were protesting against. However, they did 
 $2 Billion worth of damage.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
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All power corrupts, but we need the electricity. --- Socratex If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? --- Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865) ______________________________________________________ The Polish were upset because of their bad reputation. A group of them got together and approached a conference of Americans, Germans, and Japanese and asked for help on this matter. An American replied, "You must do something so the world will respect you. The Japanese are known for their technology and the Germans are known for their resourcefulness. We Americans have had respect since we helped win the World War against the other two. See, you need to do something world-famous." A German added, "Yes, he's right. Why don't you find a place in this world in need of a bridge that no one has dared build, build it, come back to us, and we will help publicize it." With that, the Polish set off to build their bridge. They designed it and worked six months and finally completed it. They then went back to report it to the group. The bridge was a beautiful bridge but it had one flaw: it was erected in the middle of the Sahara Desert. An American said, "No, no. See, that is why you have your reputation. There is no need for a bridge in the middle of the desert. Now go and dismantle it, and find a more strategic spot to erect it." The Polish returned to the conference in two weeks. One of the Japanese said, "Two weeks! It only took you two weeks to dismantle that bridge and build a new one??? That is amazing!!" To which a Polish man replied, "Well, not exactly. When we returned to the bridge we couldn't dismantle it because there were all these Italians fishing off it." ______________________________________________________ At the urging of his doctor, John moved to Arizona. After settling in, he met a neighbor who was also an older man. "Say, my doctor recommended I move here for my health. Is this really a good place to live?" "It sure is," the man replied. "When I first arrived here I couldn't say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head. I didn't have the strength to walk across a room and I had to be lifted out of bed." "That's wonderful!" said John. "How long have you been here?" "I was born here." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Victor for this picture: Click through for the big picture ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Melvin Ramsey, 20, Elgin, Illinois Man falls through ice into Fox River trying to escape Elgin police A man who was trying to evade Elgin police Sunday morning landed in the Fox River when he tried to cross thin ice to get to the other side, police said. About 10:30 a.m., an officer saw the man walking near the Chicago Street Metra train depot, 109 W. Chicago St., and recognized him as someone who had an outstanding arrest warrant. The officer told the man to stop, but the man took off south running between the railroad tracks and the river, according to a news release from the Elgin Police Department. When more officers were called to the scene, the man, identified as Melvin Ramsey, 20, tried to cross to the other side on the ice of the Fox River. He almost made it to shore, but the ice gave way and he landed in the water, police said. Police threw rope bags to rescue Ramsey, but their rescue attempts didn't work. An officer then retrieved a lifesaver ring from the National Street Bridge and it was slid across the ice to Ramsey. He then grabbed the ring, and officers pulled him to safety, police said. Ramsey, of the 200 block of Jewett Street in Elgin, was taken to the hospital with minor injuries he suffered when he fell through the ice. He was charged with misdemeanor resisting arrest and was scheduled Monday to appear in Kane County bond court, where he also will face several outstanding warrant charges from previous cases, the release said. Tech Support Pits From: Daniel Re: Assigning Sounds to events Dear Webby Dear Webby, hello my friend, there used to be a program that let you choose what sounds you wanted to add to your " program events " it had explosions,rifle shots,etc,etc,etc. do you know the name of it ? thanks, daniel, Dear Daniel Go into Control Panel Sounds and Audio Sounds In there you can assign any sounds you want to any event you want. There are tons of sounds included, and you can also use additional ones from your own collection. Have FUN! DearWebby
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A church was preparing for Christmas services. The pastor decided he wanted a banner made for the entryway and had a parishioner call the sign company. The parishioner told the man on the phone the message he wanted and the dimensions needed for the entryway. The sign came back a few days later. "Unto Mary Jesus was born, six feet long and two feet wide."
Daily tip from Wrapping Gifts in Holiday Tablecloths At dollar stores or shopping after the holiday clearance sales, I try to get a couple of the decorated lightweight disposable tablecloths and store them in my box of gift-wrapping supplies. Many times a gift or the box that the gift comes in is too large for the usual size bolt of wrapping paper, necessitating piecing several pieces taped together to cover your item. I get out my disposable table cloth, cut it to fit (I always have a lot more left over) and tape it. The lightweight flannel- backed cloths are also very flexible. Clear packing tape will securely hold the wrap for the heavier weight cloths. By Trisha from Ventura, CA ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ After my fifth-graders studied the history of the Alamo, I gave them a test with this bonus question: "What was the famous battle cry that later helped spur on independence for Texans?" One student's response: "Remember the alimony!" ______________________________________________________ The family had spent the day moving from their farmhouse into a new apartment house in town. Very early the next morning, the 5 1/2 -year-old ran into their bedroom to wake them up. Mom dressed him and told him to play and let them rest for a while longer. About 20 minutes later, he came running back."Mommy, Mommy," he exclaimed, "Everybody has doorbells.... and they all work!"

Deadly African Salt Lake

Today in 
1833 Oberlin College in Ohio opened as the first truly 
 coeducational school of higher education in the United States. 
1835 In Rhode Island, the Manufacturer Mutual Fire Insurance 
 Company issued the first fire insurance policy. 
1910 The neon lamp was displayed for the first time at the 
 Paris Motor Show. The lamp was developed by French physicist 
 Georges Claude. 
1917 The Quebec Bridge opened for traffic after almost 20 
 years of planning and construction. The bridge suffered 
 partial collapses in 1907 (August 29) and 1916 (September 11). 
1931 Alka Seltzer was sold for the first time. 
1947 The Tennessee Williams play "A Streetcar Named Desire" 
 opened at Broadway's Ethel Barrymore Theater. 
1948 The "Pumpkin Papers" came to public light. The House 
 Un-American Activities Committee announced that former 
 Communist spy Whittaker Chambers had produced microfilm of 
 secret documents hidden inside a pumpkin on his Maryland farm. 
1967 In Cape Town, South Africa, a team of surgeons headed by 
 Dr. Christian Barnard, performed the first human heart 
 transplant on Louis Washkansky. Washkansky only lived 18 days. 
1973 Pioneer 10 sent back the first close-up images of Jupiter. 
 The first outer-planetary probe had been launched from Cape 
 Canaveral, FL, on March 2, 1972. 
1982 Doctors at the University of Utah Medical Center removed 
 the respirator of Barney Clark. The retired dentist had become 
 the world's first recipient of a permanent artificial heart 
 only one day before. 
1983 3-foot-high concrete barriers were installed at two 
 White House entrances. 
1984 In Bhopal, India, more than 2,000 people were killed after 
 a cloud of poisonous gas escaped from a pesticide plant. The 
 plant was operated by a Union Carbide subsidiary. 
1992 The Greek tanker "Aegean Sea" ran aground at La Coruna, 
 Spain and spilled 21.5 million gallons of crude oil. 
1993 Britain's Princess Diana announced she would be limiting 
 her public appearances because she was tired of the media's 
 intrusions into her life. 
1993 Angola's government and its rebel enemies agreed to a 
 cease-fire in their 18-year war. 
1994 Rebel Serbs in Bosnia failed to keep a pledge to release 
 hundreds of UN peacekeepers. 
1995 Former South Korean president Chun Doo-hwan was arrested 
 for his role in a 1979 coup. 
1997 In Ottawa, Canada, more than 120 countries were represented 
 to sign a treaty prohibiting the use and production of 
 anti-personnel land mines. The United States, China and 
 Russia did not sign the treaty. 
1997 South Korea received $55 billion from the International 
 Monetary Fund to bailout its economy. 
1999 Tori Murden became the first woman to row across the 
 Atlantic Ocean alone. It took her 81 days to reach the French 
 Caribbean island of Guadeloupe from the Canary Islands. 
1999 The World Trade Organization (WTO) concluded a four-day 
 meeting in Seattle, WA, without setting an agenda for a new 
 round of trade talks. The meeting was met with fierce protests 
 by various groups who had no clue, what the meeting was about
 or what they were protesting against. However, they did 
 $2 Billion worth of damage.
1999 The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) 
 lost radio contact with the Mars Polar Lander as it entered 
 Mars' atmosphere. The spacecraft was unmanned. 
2010 The Boeing X-37 returned to Earth on successfully after 
 its first orbital mission. It launched on April 22, 2010. 
2014  smiled.

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