Associate your own sounds with events in Windows 7 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, December 4

Today I have to go to Calgary 
for injections into my eyeballs. That means no newsletters
for Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Have FUN!

Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
Georgia man in Florida went on car jacking spree,
got beat up after crashing into gas station.
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1978 Dianne Feinstein became San Francisco's first woman mayor 
 when she was named to replace George Moscone, who had been murdered. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
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He may be mad, but there's method in his madness. There nearly always is method in madness. It's what drives men mad, being methodical. --- G. K. Chesterton (1874 - 1936) The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it. --- Abbie Hoffman ______________________________________________________ A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up. "Oh, we'll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship," the wife explained. "He was a communications major in college and I majored in theater arts. He communicates really well and I just act like I'm listening!" ______________________________________________________ We have a new kid in the office named Brian. Nice guy. Fresh out of college. So I was asking him about school the other day and he told me he belonged to a fraternity called Delta Upsilon. "Did you pledge in college?" he asked. I said, "Yeah, I belonged to 'I Tappa Kegga.'" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Victor for this picture: Click through for the big picture ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jordan Mincy 21, Orlando, Florida Man tried to steal three cars and crashed into gas pump Jordan Mincy seemed to be in a hurry and possibly confused during his first botched carjacking of the night, a report shows. "You don't know what just happened," Mincy, 21, said Thursday to a Shell gas station security guard before jumping into her car, police said. After he couldn't get her car started, Mincy smoked something for a second before running across the street to the Greyhound Bus station, where police said he stole a car and crashed it into gas pump, causing a fiery explosion. Then, as his alleged crime spree proceeded, Mincy forced a man out of his car so he could hide from Orlando police. It took a police dog, an OPD officer and four firefighters to take Mincy down, court records show. It looks like the firefighters tenderized his face and connected about half a dozen times. Mincy, a Georgia native, was taken to Orlando Regional Medical Center to be treated for a dog bite. He bonded out of the Orange County Jail on Sunday. His charges include carjacking, battery on a law-enforcement officer, kidnapping and possession of marijuana. Tech Support Pits From: Daniel Re: Assigning Sounds to events Dear Webby Dear Webby, Windows7 does not have that feature,it on has sound,and when you open it all you can get is what is programmed into the program which are terrible at best. daniel Dear Daniel yes, it does. Try Control panel Sound Sounds select one item, then hit Browse. You can install all your own private farts and pops and dings and dongs. Make it easy on yourself, and put all your intended WAV files into an easy to find folder, for example C:\WAV Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
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A man goes to consult a specialist about his medical problem. After the visit the man asks, "How much do I owe you?" "My fee is five hundred dollars," replies the physician. "Five hundred dollars? That's impossible. No one charges that much!" "In your case," the doctor replies, "I suppose I could adjust my fee to three hundred." "Three hundred dollars? For one visit? Ridiculous." "Well, then, could you afford two hundred?" "Who has that kind of money?" "Look, replies the doctor," growing irritated, "Just give me fifty bucks and get out." "I can give you twenty says the man. Take it or leave it." "I don't understand you," says the doctor. "Why did you come to the most expensive doctor in New York if you have no money?" "Listen, Doctor", says the patient, "When it comes to my health, nothing too expensive is."
Daily tip from Bubble Mailer Envelopes for Breakables Use bubble wrap for storing small breakable items. Cut the mailer into wide strips. Place the strips in between items as you place them in the storage box. This protects things like china cups, ornaments, glassware or anything breakable. By jean99 [5] Old, cut up bed sheets work fine too. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ A young mother overheard her 5-year-old granddaughter playing "wedding." The wedding vows went like this: "You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be held against you, you don't have the right to have an attorney present. You may kiss the bride. You are done!" ______________________________________________________ After a long day of listening to a Texan brag, a New Yorker decided to show the Texan the Empire State Building. When the Texan put down New York's well-known landmark by saying "Heck, that's nothing. In Texas, we have outhouses bigger than that!" The New Yorker responded, "You need them!"

Deadly African Salt Lake

Today in 
1783 Gen. George Washington said farewell to his officers 
  at Fraunces Tavern in New York. 
1812 Peter Gaillard patented the power mower. 
1875 William Marcy Tweed, the "Boss" of New York City's 
 Tammany Hall political organization, escaped from jail 
 and fled from the U.S. 
1918 U.S. President Woodrow Wilson set sail for France 
 to attend the Versailles Peace Conference. Wilson became 
 the first chief executive to travel to Europe while in office. 
1942 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt ordered the 
 dismantling of the Works Progress Administration. 
1942 U.S. bombers attacked the Italian mainland for the first 
 time during World War II. 
1965 The U.S. launched Gemini 7 with Air Force Lt. Col. 
 Frank Borman and Navy Comdr. James A. Lovell on board. 
1973 Pioneer 10 reached Jupiter. 
1978 Dianne Feinstein became San Francisco's first woman mayor 
 when she was named to replace George Moscone, who had been murdered. 
1983 U.S. jet fighters struck Syrian anti-aircraft positions in 
 Lebanon in retaliation for attacks directed at American 
 reconnaissance planes. Navy Lt. Robert O. Goodman Jr. was 
 shot down and captured by Syria. 
1984 A five-day hijack drama began as four men seized a Kuwaiti 
 airliner en route to Pakistan and forced it to land in Tehran. 
 Two American passengers were killed by the hijackers. 
1987 Cuban inmates at a federal prison in Atlanta freed their 
 89 hostages, peacefully ending an 11-day uprising. 
1988 The government of Argentina announced that hundreds of 
 heavily armed soldiers had ended a four-day military revolt. 
1990 Iraq promised to release 3,300 Soviet citizens it was holding. 
1991 Associated Press correspondent Terry Anderson was released 
 after nearly seven years in captivity in Lebanon. 
1991 Pan American World Airways ceased operations. 
1992 U.S. President George H.W. Bush ordered American troops 
 to lead a mercy mission to Somalia. 
1993 The Angolan government and its UNITA guerrilla foes formally 
 adopted terms for a truce. The conflict was killing an estimated 
 1,000 people per day. 
1994 Bosnian Serbs released 53 out of about 400 UN peacekeepers 
 they were holding as insurance against further NATO airstrikes. 
2000 O.J. Simpson was involved in an incident with another motorist 
 in Miami, FL. Simpson was accused of scratching the other motorists 
 face while pulling off the man's glasses. 
2001 O.J. Simpson's home in Florida was raided by the FBI in an 
 ongoing two year international investigation into drug trafficking, 
 satellite service pilfering and money laundering. Some unused
 satellite equipment was taken from Simpson's home and no drugs 
 were found. 
2014  smiled.

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