Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, December 11

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
Oregon dope facing heroin charges, who
brought syringe to court
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1981 Muhammad Ali fought his last fight. He lost his 61st fight 
 to Trevor Berbick. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
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If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!









If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion.
--- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)

When the character of a man is not clear to you,
look at his friends.
--- Japanese Proverb

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One in twentysix Irish drivers reports to have driven
while sober on one or more occasion.
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Kate goes over to visit one of her friends.

While she is at her friend's house it starts to
rain very heavily. Her friend tells her to spend
the night at her house and go home the next day.

When she hears this, Kate rushes out the
door and comes a while later totally drenched
and carrying a small shopping bag.
So her friend asks "Where did you run off too?"

"I went home to get my pajamas!"

______________________________________________________

Thanks to Nanarina for this picture:


Click through for the big picture
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!

______________________________________________________

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to


Michael Durban
Marion County, 
Oregon

Oregon dope facing heroin charges 
brings syringe to court

A man who came to an Oregon courtroom on Monday to be 
arraigned on a heroin possession charge will be needled 
about the visit for years to come.

That's because Michael Durban, 23, allegedly showed up 
to the Marion Count Courthouse with a syringe and a 
cotton ball in his pocket, KPTV.com reports.

Durban was going through a security screening when deputies 
allegedly found hypodermic needles and a cotton ball that 
they think contained heroin in his pocket, according to 
OregonLive.com.

When the authorities pointed out the drug paraphernalia, the 
suspect allegedly said, “I got mixed up. I thought I left it 
in my car,” KATU.com reports.

Durban, who was supposed to be arraigned on a drug charge, 
was arrested on the spot and charged with unlawful 
possession of heroin.

He was taken to the Marion County Jail and is scheduled 
to be arraigned on the new charge Tuesday afternoon, 
the Statesman Journal reports.
The link to  Mail Washer is here! 
Tech Support Pits
From: Noella
Re: Password Keeper

Dear Webby
Good morning!
I know you've mentioned this several times, but I've not 
paid any attention because I figured I'd never need it.
 
Where is the best place for me to store my passwords 
"in the cloud"?
 
Last night my cell phone account was hacked into and one 
of my passwords saved my account. I have all of them written 
on 3 x 5 cards at home. Since I live alone, I feel pretty 
safe. But I suppose anything could happen.
 
Noella


Dear Noella
For password keeping I have used Roboform for about 15 years.
http://roboform.com

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!










Boudreaux been fish'n down by de bayou all day an he done 
run outa night crawlers. He be bout reddy to leave when he 
seen a snake wit a big frog in his mouf. He knowed dat dem 
big bass fish like frogs, so he decided to steal dat froggie.
Dat snake, he be a cotton moufed water moccasin so he had to 
be real careful or he'd get bit. He snuk up behine de snake 
and grabbed him roun de haid. Dat ole snake din't lak dat one 
bit. He squirmed and wrapped hisself roun Boudreaux's arm try'n 
to get hisself free. 

But Boudreaux, him, had a real good grip 
on his haid, yeh. Well, Boudreaux pried his mouf open and
got de frog and puts it in his baitcan.

Now, Boudreaux knows dat he cain't let go dat snake or his 
gonna bite him good, but he had a plan. He reach into de back 
pocket of his bib overhauls and pulls out a pint a moonshine 
likker. He pour some drops into de snakes mouf. Well, dat 
snake's eyeballs roll back in his haid and his body go limp.

Wit dat Boudreaux toss dat snake into de bayou. Den he goes 
back to fishin'. A while later Boudreaux dun feel sumpin 
tappin' on his barefoot toe.

He slowly look down and dare dat water moccasin was with 
two more frogs.


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Candy Cane "Advent Calendar" Tree 
When our boys were too small to understand what an advent 
calendar was I still wanted a way for them to be able to 
count the days until Christmas.
While we were decorating our tree, the boys had chosen to 
put candy canes on it. Then it came to me, why not put one on 
it for each of our two sons for each day until Christmas? 
When the last candy cane was left they knew the next day 
was Christmas. It didn't matter when we put up our tree we 
just counted the number of days left and adjusted.

Of course those first years, the bottom of the tree was a 
little heavy with the candy canes compared to the top where 
they couldn't reach, but what did it matter? It worked great 
and we started a new tradition at our house.

One year after they were gone from home, I had decided not to 
put to candy canes on the "fancy" tree. One of the boys 
stopped by, he told me point blank something was missing. 
Even with lace and bows, the candy canes were required 
decorations at our house, and I am so glad they 
remembered.

Source: My sons and I, 30 years ago.
By latrtatr from Loup City, NE 

______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request. 
______________________________________________________

Late one night, a burglar broke into a house that he thought
was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly
froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say,
"Jesus is watching you."

Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward
again. "Jesus is watching you,"  the voice boomed again.

The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened.
Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he
spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot. He asked
the parrot, "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?"

"Yes", said the parrot.

The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, then he asked the
parrot, "What's your name?"

"Clarence," said the bird.

"That's a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar.
"What idiot named you Clarence?"

The parrot said, "The same idiot who named the
rottweiller Jesus."

______________________________________________________

1. Is there a 4th of July in England? Yes or no?

2. How many birthdays does the average man have?

3. Some months have 31 days. How many have 28?

4. How many outs are there in an inning?

5. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister.

6. Take the number 30, divide it by 1/2, and then add 10. What do you get?

7. There are 3 apples and you take two away. How many apples are you left with?

8. A doctor gives you three pills and tells you to take one every half an hour. How long will the pills last?

9. A farmer has 17 sheep. All but 9 of them die. How many sheep are left?

10. How many animals of each sex did Moses bring with him on the ark?

11. A butcher in the market is 5' 10" tall. What does
he weigh?

12. How many 2 cent stamps are there in a dozen?

13. What was the President's name in 1960?


===================
So how do you think you did in that quiz?
Here are the answers....
1. Is there a 4th of July in England? Yes or No?
Yes. It comes right after the 3rd.

2. How many birthdays does the average man have?
One (1). You can only be born once.

3. Some months have 31 days. How many have 28?
Twelve (12). All of them have at least 28 days.

4. How many outs are there in an inning?
Six (6). Don't forget there is a top and bottom to
every inning.

5. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his
widow's sister?
No. If she is a widow, he is dead.

6. Take the number 30, divide it by 1/2, and then add
10. What do you get?
Seventy (70). Thirty (30) divided by 1/2 is 60.

7. There are 3 apples and you take two away. How many
apples are you left with?
Two (2). You take two apples...therefore, YOU have TWO
apples.

8. A doctor gives you three pills and tells you to take
one every half and hour. How long will the pills last?
One hour. If you take the first pill at 1:00, the
second at 1:30, and the third at 2:00, the pills have
run out and only an hour has passed.

9. A farmer has 17 sheep. All but 9 of them die. How
many sheep are left?
Nine (9). like I said, all BUT nine die.

10. How many animals of each sex did Moses take?
None. I didn't know that Moses had an ark.

11. A butcher in the market is 5' 10" tall. What does
he weigh?
Meat...that is self-explanatory.

12. How many 2 cent stamps are there in a dozen?
Twelve (12). How many eggs are in a dozen?
TWELVE...it's a dozen!

13. What was the President's name in 1960?
George W. Bush. As far as I know, he hasn't changed his
name.






 Original Players




Today in 
1719 The first recorded sighting of the aurora borealis 
 took place in New England. 
1769 Edward Beran of London patented venetian blinds. 

1792 France's King Louis XVI went before the Convention, 
 which had replaced the National Assembly, to face charges 
 of treason. He was convicted and condemned and was sent 
 to the guillotine the following January. 
1844 Dr. Horace Wells became the first person to have a 
 tooth extracted after receiving an anesthetic for the dental 
 procedure. Nitrous Oxide, or laughing gas, was the anesthetic. 
1894 The world's first motor show opened in Paris with nine 
 exhibitors. 
1928 In Buenos Aires, police thwarted an attempt on the life 
 of President-elect Herbert Hoover. 
1930 The Bank of the United States in New York failed. 
1936 Britain's King Edward VIII abdicated in order to marry 
 American Wallis Warfield Simpson. He became the Duke of Windsor. 
1937 The Fascist Council in Rome, withdrew Italy from the 
 League of Nations. 
1941 Germany and Italy declared war on the United States. The 
 U.S in turn declared war on the two countries. 
1961 The first direct American military support for South Vietnam 
 occurred when a U.S. aircraft carrier carrying Army helicopters 
 arrived in Saigon. 
1967 The prototype of the Concorde was shown for the first time 
 in Toulouse, France. 
1973 West German Chancellor Willy Brandt and Czech Prime Minister 
 Lubomir Strougal formally nullified the 1938 Munich pact when 
 they signed a treaty sanctioning Hitler's seizure of 
 Czechoslovakia's Sudetenland. 
1981 Muhammad Ali fought his last fight. He lost his 61st fight 
 to Trevor Berbick. 
1985 General Electric Company agreed to buy RCA Corporation for 
 $6.3 billion. Also included in the deal was NBC Radio and Television. 
1987 Charlie Chaplin's trademark cane and bowler hat were sold at 
 Christie's for £82,500. 
1988 62 people were killed in a Mexico City marketplace when tons of 
 illegal fireworks exploded. 
1990 Ivana Trump was divorced from Donald Trump after 12 years of 
 marriage. 
1991 Salman Rushdie, under an Islamic death sentence for blasphemy, 
 made his first public appearance since 1989 in New York, at a 
 dinner marking the 200th anniversary of the First Amendment 
 (which guarantees freedom of speech in the U.S.). 
1994 Thousands of Russian troops, armored columns and jets entered 
 Chechnya. The move by Moscow was an effort to restore control 
 the breakaway republic. 
1994 The world's largest free trade zone was created when leaders 
 of 34 Western Hemisphere nations signed a free-trade declaration 
 known as "The Miami Process." 
1997 Sinn Fein leader Gerry Adams became the first political ally 
 of the IRA to meet a British leader in 76 years. He conferred with 
 Prime Minister Tony Blair in London. 
1997 More than 150 countries agreed at a global warming conference 
 in Kyoto, Japan, to control the Earth's "greenhouse gases." 
1998 Scientists announced that they had deciphered the entire genetic 
 blueprint of a tiny worm. 
1998 The Mars Climate Orbiter blasted off on a nine-month journey to 
 the Red Planet. However, the probe disappeared in September of 1999, 
 apparently destroyed because scientists had failed to convert 
 English measures to metric values. 
1998 Majority Republicans on the House Judiciary Committee pushed 
 through three articles of impeachment against U.S. President Clinton. 
2000 Mario Lemeiux, owner of Pittsburgh Penquins, announced that he would 
 end his three-plus year retirement and become an active National Hockey 
 League (NHL) player again. When Lemieux returned officially he became 
 the first owner/player in NHL history. 
2001 Ted Turner purchased 12,000 acres in Nebraska for Bison ranches. 
2001 It was announced that U.S. President George W. Bush would withdraw the 
 U.S. from the 1972 Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty with Russia. 
2001 Federal agents seized computers in 27 U.S. cities as part of 
 "Operation Buccaneer." The raids were used to gain evidence against an 
 international software piracy ring.
2014 Pirate Bay was busted and taken down.
2014  smiled.

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