Bad Microsoft Update 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, December 13

Have FUN!

Today's Bonehead Award goes to 
Three Grinches Nabbed For 
Stealing Items From "Toys For Needy 
Children" Donation Box
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1577 Five ships under the command of Sir Francis Drake left 
 Plymouth, England, to embark on Drake's circumnavigation of 
 the globe. The journey took almost three years. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
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It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help. --- Judith Martin, ______________________________________________________ >From Robert I'm a counselor who helps coordinate support groups for visually impaired adults. Many participants have a condition known as macular degeneration, which makes it difficult for them to distinguish facial features. I had just been assigned to a new group and was introducing myself. Knowing that many in the group would not be able to see me well, I jokingly said, "For those of you who can't see me, I've been told that I look like a cross between Paul Newman and Robert Redford." Immediately, one woman called out, "We're not THAT blind!" ______________________________________________________ A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, "when did you bag him?" The host said, "that was three years ago, when I went hunting with my wife and her mother." "What's he stuffed with?" asked the visiting hunter. "My mother-in-law" ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Deandra Cooke, 18; Lacinda Granado-Overton, 25; and Tarica Wright, 26 Aledo, Illinois Three Grinches Nabbed For Stealing Items From "Toys For Needy Children" Donation Box A trio of women is facing theft charges for allegedly swiping items from a “Toys for Needy Children” donation box outside a Walmart in Illinois. According to cops in Aledo, the women stole the toys last night from a box that was placed in front of the retailer by a local Jaycees organization. The group distributes the collected toys to several hundred children in Mercer County, which is just south of the Quad Cities area. Police arrested Deandra Cooke, 18; Lacinda Granado-Overton, 25; and Tarica Wright, 26, in connection with the toy thefts. They were each hit with a felony theft charge and booked into county jail. All three defendants have previously been arrested for theft, according to court records. Pictured above, Cooke (left), Granado-Overton (center), and Wright (right) remain in the Mercer County lockup, where bond has not been set, according to a jail official. Tech Support Pits From: Eddie Re: Windows 7 users urged to uninstall broken update that wreaks havoc on software Dear Webby Is the currebt Microsoft update really bad? Eddie Dear Eddie Yes, it is. Skip it. Windows 7 users may have automatically updated themselves into a pickle with a recent patch from Microsoft. Microsoft has confirmed that the KB3004394 update it issued on December 10 can cause various problems. What's worse is that it may also prevent users from installing newer updates. The problems are reportedly limited to Windows 7 machines, and don't affect users running Windows XP. Although Microsoft didn't specify all the problems users have been experiencing, AMD's Robert Hallock said the update can prevent the system from installing new graphics drivers —which is particularly troublesome as AMD's feature-stuffed new Catalyst Omega drivers launched the same day the borked Windows update rolled out. According to Infoworld, users on Microsoft's support forums have pointed out a litany of other issues, including failure to launch Windows Defender, problems with running VirtualBox and strange errors from User Account Control. If you have not done the December 10 update, skip it. Have FUN! DearWebby
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A guy took a girl out on her first date. When they pulled off into a secluded area around midnight, the girl said, "My mother told me to say no to everything." "Well," he said, "do you mind if I put my arm around you?" "Uhhh . . . no," the girl replied. "Do you mind if I put my other hand on your leg?" "N-n-no," the girl stammered. "You know," Barry said, "We're going to have a lot of fun if you're on the level about this."
Daily tip from Inexpensive But Thoughtful Gifts Here are a few of my ideas for inexpensive but thoughtful gifts. A box of chocolates with a homemade card that says you're just too sweet for words. Give out cards with homemade coupons for neighbors, like one free night of babysitting, etc. depending on the needs of the person you're giving it to. Buy a tea towel and dish rag with a tag that says enjoy your new washer and dryer. Family theme boxes, for movie night add a movie, popcorn packages, and 2 litre of pop. You can do car wash baskets with items from dollar store like sponges, cleaning fluid, wax, etc. Use your imagination. Chocolate boxes with coffee mug, various chocolates, a book, and book mark, maybe a candle. By Tracy C. from Brockville, Ontario ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ On their cross-country road trip, a couple stopped for lunch at a roadside cafe in the southwest. They sat down at the counter and ordered coffee. While they were looking at the menu, a cowboy approached the counter, swung his long leg over the stool beside them and farted loudly. The tourist jump up and cried, "Sir, how dare you fart like that so rudely - before my wife!" The cowboy immediately jumped off the stool, bowed and tipped his stetson toward the woman. "Shucks, ma'am, I'm awfully sorry," he said. "But how was I supposed to know we was taking turns" ______________________________________________________ Two priests and a rabbi are playing poker in the park. Suddenly, a police officer approaches the trio and asks the first priest, "Father, were you gambling?" The padre glances skyward and mumbles, "Forgive me, Jesus," then turns to the officer and says, "No, my son, I was not gambling." The lawman then turns to the second priest and asks him if he was gambling. The priest looks toward Heaven and says under his breath, "Forgive me, Jesus," then tells the officer, "No, my son, I was not gambling." The policeman then turns to the rabbi and says, "Rabbi, were you gambling?" The rabbi looks from one priest to the other, then turns to the officer and asks, "With who?"

Christmas Train

Today in 
1577 Five ships under the command of Sir Francis Drake left 
 Plymouth, England, to embark on Drake's circumnavigation of 
 the globe. The journey took almost three years. 
1636 The United States National Guard was created when 
 militia regiments were organized by the General Court of 
 the Massachusetts Bay Colony. 
1642 New Zealand was discovered by Dutch navigator Abel Tasman. 
1809 The first abdominal surgical procedure was performed in 
 Danville, KY, on Jane Todd Crawford. The operation was 
 performed without an anesthetic. 
1816 John Adamson received a patent for a dry dock. 
1862 In America, an estimated 11,000 Northern soldiers were 
 killed or wounded when Union forces were defeated by Confederates 
 under General Robert E. Lee, at the Battle of Fredericksburg. 
1883 The border between Ontario and Manitoba was established. 
1884 Percy Everitt received a patent for the first coin-operated 
 weighing machine. 
1921 Britain, France, Japan and the United States signed the 
 Pacific Treaty. 
1937 Japanese forces took the Chinese city of Nanking (Nanjing). 
 An estimated 200,000 Chinese were killed over the next six weeks. 
 The event became known as the "Rape of Nanking." 
1944 During World War II, the U.S. cruiser Nashville was badly 
 damaged in a Japanese kamikaze suicide attack. 138 people were 
 killed in the attack. 
1964 In El Paso, TX, President Johnson and Mexican President 
 Gustavo Diaz Ordaz set off an explosion that diverted the 
 Rio Grande River, reshaping the U.S.-Mexican border. This 
 ended a century-old border dispute. 
1980 Three days after a disputed general election, Uganda’s 
 President Milton Obote was returned to office. 
1981 Authorities in Poland imposed martial law in an attempt 
 to crackdown on the Solidarity labor movement. Martial law 
 ended formally in 1983. 
1998 Puerto Rican voters rejected U.S. statehood in a 
 non-binding referendum. 
2000 Seven convicts, the "Texas 7," escaped from Connally 
 Unit in Kenedy, TX, southeast of San Antonio, by 
 overpowering civilian workers and prison employees. They 
 fled with stolen clothing, pickup truck and 16 guns 
 and ammunition. 
2001 The U.S. government released a video tape that showed 
 Osama bin Laden and others discussing their knowledge of 
 the terrorist attacks on the United States on September 
 11, 2001. 
2001 Israel severed all contact with Yasser Arafat. Israel 
 also launched air strikes and sent troops into Palestine 
 in response to a bus ambush that killed 10 Israelis. 
2001 Gunmen stormed the Indian Parliament and killed seven 
 people and injured 18. Security forces killed the attackers 
 during a 90-minute gunbattle. 
2001 NBC-TV announced that it would begin running hard liquor 
 commercials. NBC issued a 19-point policy that outlined the 
 conditions for accepting liquor ads. 
2014  smiled.

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