Good Morning, ,

Today is Sturday, December 20

Thank you, Jan!

Have FUN!

Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Pennsylvania Jerk, who groped drive-thru worker at McDonald's
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1820 The state of Missouri enacted legislation to tax 
 bachelors between the ages of 21-50 for being unmarried. 
 The tax was $1 a year. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Most of the change we think we see in life is due to truths being in and out of favor. --- Robert Frost (1874 - 1963) ______________________________________________________ A Sunday School teacher is telling her class the story of Jonah and the whale. The childrenís eyes get bigger and bigger as she tells them that Jonah was swallowed by the whale and sat in its stomach for three days and three nights before God answered his prayer and the whale expelled Jonah onto dry land. When she finishes the story the teacher asks, "Now children, what does this story teach us?" There's a long pause. Finally, a six-year-old boy exclaims: "You can't keep a good man down!" ______________________________________________________ A ThirdAger is getting his annual physical when the doctor notices several dark, ugly bruises on the man's shins. "Do you play hockey, soccer or another physical sport?" the doctor asks. "No," says the man. "I play bridge with my wife." ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Michael Jenkins 23 Upper Darby Pennsylvania Jerk groped drive-thru worker at McDonald's A Pennsylvania man was charged yesterday with an assortment of crimes after he allegedly reached into a McDonald’s drive-thru window and fondled a female employee working the night shift. According to a probable cause affidavit, Michael Jenkins, 23, and another man walked up early Thursday morning to the eatery in Upper Darby, a Philadelphia suburb. Jenkins, seen at right, reportedly flirted with the 31-year- old McDonald’s employee, and offered to pick her up later that day for a date. The worker, police reported, ignored Jenkins. Before departing the window, Jenkins reached in and grabbed the woman’s breast, cops say. After the victim shut the window, she spoke with a McDonald’s manager who then called 911. Jenkins went from the fast food restauarant to a nearby bar, where he was arrested by cops. Jenkins was charged with indecent assault, public drunkenness, harassment, and disorderly conduct. He was later freed on an unsecured $30,000 bond. When Jenkins was confronted by an officer, he admitted to being at the McDonald’s, according to the affidavit. “Yea I am a ladies man,” Jenkins told the cop. “That girl over there wants me,” he added, referring to the McDonald’s employee. Tech Support Pits From: Robert Re: Cyberalert Dear Webby The National Cyber Awareness System has sent out an alert about a Server Message Block (SMB) Worm Tool, partrs ofr which had apparently been used to hack Sony. The whole report is way too technical for me, but I gather that it affects Windows Servers and Windows machines, and that the details are at Can you tran slate their recommendations so that I can understand them? Thanks Robert Dear Robert If you use McAfee and Malwarebytes, and use common sense when it comes to downloading utilities and games, then you will be quite safe. Sony apparently used a Windows network instead of Linux or UNIX, and once that Worm Tool was inside, they lost control without even noticing it. That does not mean all Windows networks are automatically vulnerable. Keep in mind, your little home network is not going to be targeted by North Korea, and the only way your home network will get compromised, is if you or a family member downloads some stuff, that includes a free bonus tool bar or similar trojan horse. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Decorating: I really like to create decorations using mostly natural items that I find in our rural community all year. It fits so well with our old home. They are beautiful, natural and free and recyclable! By Dee [175] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ A soldier was asked to report to headquarters for assignment. The sergeant said: "We have a critical shortage of typists. I'll give you a little test. Type this," he ordered, giving him a pamphlet to copy and a sheet of paper, and pointing to a desk across the room that held a typewriter and an adding machine. The soldier, quite reluctant to become a clerk typist, made a point of typing very slowly, and saw to it that his work contained as many errors as possible. The sergeant gave the typed copy only a brief glance. "That's fine," he said. "Report for work at 8 tomorrow." "But aren't you going to check the test?" the prospective clerk asked. The sergeant grinned. "You passed the test," he replied, "when you sat down at the typewriter instead of at the adding machine." ______________________________________________________ A painter, whitewashing the inner walls of a country outhouse, had the misfortune to fall through the opening and land in the muck at the bottom. He shouted, "Fire! Fire! Fire!" at the top of his lungs. The local fire department responded with alacrity, sirens roaring as they approached the privy. "Where's the fire?" called the chief. "No fire," replied the painter as they pulled him out of the hole. "But if I had yelled, '****! ****! ****!', who would have rescued me?"

The Redneck Book of Manners

Today in 
1606 The "Susan Constant," "Godspeed" and "Discovery" set 
 sail from London. Their landing at Jamestown, VA, was the 
 start of the first permanent English settlement in America. 
1699 Peter the Great ordered that the Russian New Year be 
 changed from September 1 to January 1. 
1790 The first successful cotton mill in the United States 
 began operating at Pawtucket, RI. 
1803 The United States Senate ratified a treaty that included 
 the Louisiana Territories from France for $15 million. 
 The transfer was completed with formal ceremonies in 
 New Orleans. 
1820 The state of Missouri enacted legislation to tax 
 bachelors between the ages of 21-50 for being unmarried. 
 The tax was $1 a year. 
1879 Thomas A. Edison privately demonstrated his incandescent 
 light at Menlo Park, NJ. 
1880 New York's Broadway became known as the "Great White Way" 
 when it was lighted by electricity. 
1892 Alexander T. Brown and George Stillman patented the 
 pneumatic tire. 
1928 Mail delivery by dog sled began in Lewiston, ME. 
1938 Vladimir Kosma Zworykin patented the iconoscope 
 television system. 
1946 In Indochina (Vietnam), full-scale guerrilla warfare 
 between Vietnam partisans and French troops began. 
1954 Buick Motor Company signed Jackie Gleason to one of the 
 largest contracts ever entered into with an entertainer. 
 Gleason agreed to produce 78 half-hour shows over a two-year 
 period for $6,142,500. 
1963 The Berlin Wall was opened for the first time to West 
 Berliners. It was only for the holiday season. It closed 
 again on January 6, 1964. 
1973 The Spanish premier Carrero Blanco was assassinated 
 in Madrid. 
1987 More than 3,000 people were killed when the Dona Paz, 
 a Philippine passenger ship, collided with the tanker Vector 
 off Mindoro island, setting off a double explosion. 
1989 General Noriega, Panama's former dictator, was overthrown 
 by a United States invasion force invited by the new civilian 
 government. The project was known as Operation Just Cause. 
1995 An American Airlines Boeing 757 en route to Cali, Colombia, 
 crashed into a mountain, killing all but four of the 163 people 
1999 The Vermont Supreme Court ruled that homosexual couples 
 were entitled to the same benefits and protections as wedded 
 couples of the opposite sex. 
1999 Sovereignty over the colony of Macao was transferred from 
 Portugal to China. 
2001 The U.S. Congress passed a $20 billion package to finance 
 the war against terrorism taking place in Afghanistan. 
2001 Argentina's President Fernando De la Rua resigned after 
 two years in power. 
2001 The first British peacekeepers arrived in Afghanistan to 
 help the nation heal after decades of war.
2014  smiled.

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