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Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, January 10

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a 
man in Floriduh for throwing his 5 year old daughter
off a bridge in full view of police
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
2000 It was announced that Time-Warner had agreed to buy 
 America On-line (AOL). It was the largest-ever 
 corporate merger priced at $162 billion.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings. --- Ed Gardner Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned. --- Milton Friedman (1912 - 2006) ______________________________________________________ "Remember, the first five minutes of a human being's life are the most dangerous." Underneath, a nurse had written: "The last five are pretty risky, too." ______________________________________________________ Nancy was studying to be a counselor always went into her counseling sessions with an ear muff over one ear. After a while the supervisor became very curious and asked her about it. She replied, "It's for confidentiality." "Confidentiality?" asked the bewildered supervisor. "Yes, confidentiality," Nancy explained, "I've been told what goes in one of my ears comes out the other, and I don't want anyone else knowing what my client says." ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to John Jonchuck Jr. 25 St. Petersburg Floriduh Girl, 5, dies after being thrown from bridge; father arrested God will not likely be representing John Jonchuck Jr., a judge told the 25-year-old father when he appeared in court Thursday on a charge that he killed his 5-year-old daughter by throwing her off of a St. Petersburg, Florida, bridge. During the video hearing, Pinellas-Pasco Circuit Judge Michael Andrews asked the handcuffed Jonchuk if he was able to hire his own lawyer. "No," Jonchuk replied. Would he like one appointed? Again, the reply was, "No." "Are you sure?" Andrews pressed. "I want to leave it in the hands of God," Jonchuk said. Asked if that meant he wanted to represent himself, Jonchuk repeated his answer, to which the judge said, "Pretty sure God's not going to be representing you in this case. You're going to be standing trial. Would you like someone standing next to you as you're standing trial?" "Yes, that is pure and good, not evil," the defendant said. "I'm going to do the best I can to give you a pure and good lawyer," Andrews said. "I don't want a court-appointed lawyer," Jonchuk said, seeming slightly perturbed. "I want to leave it in the hands of God." Andrews instructed an officer to bring Jonchuk back to his courtroom Monday "to see if he wants an attorney." Though he ordered Jonchuk held on bonds of $10,000 each for charges of aggravated assault on a law enforcement officer and aggravated fleeing and eluding, Andrews ruled there would be no bond on the first-degree murder charge. Jonchuk was arrested Thursday after a St. Petersburg police officer was driving home just after midnight and saw a car whiz past him, driving about 100 mph, authorities said. According to the arrest affidavit, Jonchuk parked on the Dick Misener Bridge, exited, ignored the officer's command to stay in the vehicle and reached into the right rear passenger seat where his daughter, Phoebe, was sitting. Jonchuk "then carried the child in his arms to the side of the bridge and intentionally dropped the child into the water. Then he entered his vehicle and fled the scene," the affidavit said. The officer heard a splash and tried to climb beneath the bridge to save the girl, but the current was too strong, St. Petersburg police spokeswoman Yolanda Fernandez told CNN affiliate WFLA. It's about a 62-foot drop to the water from that point on the bridge. Another officer tried to pull over Jonchuk's white Chrysler PT Cruiser on Interstate 275, but the defendant allegedly "conducted a U-turn and drove directly at a backup officer's vehicle, in which case the officer had to take evasive action to avoid a crash," another arrest affidavit said. Several law enforcement agencies joined the chase, including marked patrol cars with their emergency lights and sirens activated, for several miles. Jonchuk eventually stopped his vehicle in the middle of the interstate and was taken into custody, according to the affidavit. The body of the girl was later recovered. Jonchuck is being held at the Pinellas County Jail. Police have not disclosed a motive. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Doris Re: Print preview, page setting in Chrome Dear Webby I like Chrome, but when it comes to printing, it is brain-dead. There is no easily findable page setting for printing or print preview. Do I have to crank up FireFox each time I want to print something in other than stnadard zoom or change color to mono? Thanks Doris Dear Doris CTRL P is for printing "As Is". CTRL SHIFT P is for getting into the printer preferences like zoom, mono, etc. Keep in mind, some printers will keep those preferences. If you set the zoom for 70% for printing a batch of invoices, it will continue printing at 70% until you change that. Some printers, like for example Brother printers, will revert to default on the next print job, and you have to select the alternate profile again. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Luggage Tote as Grocery Bag I wish I could take the credit for this. I saw this in the Aldi's Food Store. A customer used an large luggage tote with wheels to transport his groceries. Since he lived alone he only brought enough to fit inside. I told him it was genius. I ask could I share his tip. He said OK. He wouldn't share his name. Source: A gentleman I met at the store By Georgetta Ruth [57] I have seen some seniors use baby carriages with big 12 inch pneumatic wheels, with a big climber's expedition packsack mounted on them. They had no problem getting around and met smiles and jokes everywhere. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ A man had a ticket for the theater but when he was seated by the usher, he found that he was too far from the stage. He whispered to the usher, "This is a mystery play, and I have to watch a mystery close up. Get me a better seat, and I'll give you a handsome tip." The usher moves him into the second row, and the man hands the usher a quarter. The usher looks at the quarter, frowns at him, then leans over and whispers, "The wife did it".
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
John had been playing golf for years, and he had the finest equipment, but his technique never improved a bit. As his friend watched, he teed up at the first hole and promptly drove a brand-new ball into the woods. On the second hole, he drove another new ball into a lake. On the third, he lost a new ball in another part of the woods. "Why don't you use an old ball?" his friend asked. "I've never had an old ball," he said. ______________________________________________________ A Chinese couple while working in a Chinese restaurant, fall in love and get married - and she's a virgin. On the wedding night, she cowers naked under the bed sheets as her husband undresses. He climbs in next to her and tries to be reassuring: "My darling, I know dis you firs time and you bery frighten. I promise you, I give you anyting you wann, I do anyting you wann.... What you wann?" "I wann have numma 69" she replies. He looks at her very puzzled and says, "You wann .. Beef Bloccoli Tsow Mein?"
Stunning 2200-Year-Old Mosaics Discovered in Ancient Greek City. This ancient art is amazing, especially after being under water for centuries.

Today in 
1840 The penny post, whereby mail was delivered at a 
 standard charge rather than paid for by the recipient, 
 began in Britain. 
1861 Florida seceded from the United States. 
1863 Prime Minister Gladstone opened the first section of 
 the London Underground Railway system. 
1870 John D. Rockefeller incorporated Standard Oil. 
1901 Oil was discovered at the Spindletop oil field near 
 Beaumont, TX. 
1911 Major Jimmie Erickson took the first photograph from 
 an airplane while flying over San Diego, CA. 
1928 The Soviet Union ordered the exile of Leon Trotsky. 
1951 Donald Howard Rogers piloted the first passenger jet 
 on a trip from Chicago to New York City. 
1978 The Soviet Union launched two cosmonauts aboard a 
 Soyuz capsule for a redezvous with the Salyut VI space 
 laboratory. 
1984 The United States and the Vatican established full 
 diplomatic relations for the first time in more than 
 a century. 
1990 Chinese Premier Li Peng ended martial law in Beijing 
 after seven months. He said that crushing pro-democracy 
 protests had saved China from "the abyss of misery." 
1990 Time Inc. and Warner Communications Inc. completed a 
 $14 billion merger. 
1994 In Manassas, VA, Lorena Bobbitt went on trial. She 
 had been charged with maliciously wounding her husband 
 John. She was acquitted by reason of temporary insanity. 
1997 Shelby Lynne Barrackman was strangled to death by her 
 grand-father when she licked the icing off of cupcakes. 
 He was convicted of the crime on September 15, 1998. 
2000 It was announced that Time-Warner had agreed to buy 
 America On-line (AOL). It was the largest-ever 
 corporate merger priced at $162 billion.
2001 American Airlines agreed to acquire most of Trans 
 World Airlines (TWA) assets for about $500 million. The 
 deal brought an end to the financially troubled TWA. 
2002 In France, the "Official Journal" reported that all 
 women could get the morning-after contraception pill 
 for free in pharmacies. 
2003 North Korea announced that it was withdrawing from 
 the global nuclear arms control treaty and that it had 
 no plans to develop nuclear weapons. 
2007 The iTunes Music Store reached 1.3 million feature 
 length films sold and 50 million television episodes sold.
2015  smiled.


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