Laptop Keyboard 

Good Morning, ,

Today is Thurday, January 22

Have FUN!

Today's Bonehead Award goes to 
man in England for performing sex into a mailbox
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1980 Gold was valued at $850 an ounce. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
When the politicians complain that TV turns the proceedings into a circus, it should be made clear that the circus was already there, and that TV has merely demonstrated that not all the performers are well trained. --- Edward R. Murrow (1908 - 1965) ______________________________________________________ A defendant was asked if he wanted a bench trial or a jury trial. "Jury trial," he replied. "Do you understand the difference?" asked the judge. "Sure," replied the defendant. "That's where twelve ignorant people decide my fate instead of just one. OOOPS!" ______________________________________________________ A group of women were talking together. One woman said, "Our congregation is sometimes down to 30 or 40 on a Sunday." Another said: "That's nothing. Sometimes our congregation is down to six or seven." A lady in her seventies added her bit, "That's not so bad. In our church it is bad! It's so bad in our church on Sundays that when the minister says 'dearly beloved,' it makes me blush!" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Roy for this picture: Click through for the big picture
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Paul Bennett 45 Wigan, England Paul Bennett Convicted after having sex into a mailbox A man in Wigan, England, has been stamped as a sex offender after being found guilty of having sex with a mailbox. Paul Bennett, 45, pleaded guilty on Thursday to two counts of indecent exposure and using threatening and abusive words with abusive behavior, the Mirror reports. The plea stemmed from a Sept. 9 incident where he attempted to have sex with a mailbox in a public area. Witnesses told the court they saw Bennett pull down his pants in a shopping arcade and start to publicly perform a sexual act on himself in public. Prosecuting attorney Kate Beattie said Bennett then walked over to the postbox and "started to make sexual advances towards it," according to the Mirror. Bennett reportedly rubbed himself against the mailbox while holding his hands in the air. Witnesses said he kept shouting “Wow!” during his mailbox masturbation. After he finished, Bennett pulled up his pants and started swinging on a lamppost, according to the Manchester Evening News. Police later found Bennett exposing himself in front of another store. Officers said he drunkenly shouted and swore at them, according to the Express. Bennett's attorney, Martin Jones, told the court he realizes his client's behavior left witnesses "ashamed, disgusted and upset." "My client accepts that," he said, according to the Telegraph. "Clearly there are issues that need to be addressed." A court ordered Bennett to undergo alcohol treatment, and pay $75 to the woman who witnessed his mailbox sex session. He will also have to register as a Sex Offender, Wigan Today reports. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Sophia Re: Laptop Keyboard Dear Webby, Your web site is wonderful. I love it. It's humorous, clean, helpful in technology and inspirational. It lifts up my spirit lots of times. Many times when I felt down, I went to your web site, read some philosophical excerpts, humors, special news here and there, watched some rare photos, read the tech support, I learned something, I felt better. Thank you very much for your great work to create this web site. I have a question regarding my laptop, I hope you could help. Two buttons of my laptop are stop working: the period button and the arrow up button. When I press them, they don't function at all. What can I do to fix this problem? I really hope you could help. Thanks again and have a nice day! Sophia Dear Sophia That would depend a lot on what brand and model laptop you have. If it is still under warranty, they will replace the keyboard free. If it is not, most likely you will have to buy a new keyboard. Laptop keyboards are not repairable. Personally, I use regular keyboards with laptops. They are much faster, easier on the hands and wrists and arms and back, and cheap to replace. When buying a keyboard, first measure your carry-on and see how long a keyboard you can fit into it, then buy the biggest that will just fit in. Usually, the wider a keyboard is, the faster and easier it is on your hands. A good example is the Logitech K360 920-004088 Glossy Black USB RF Wireless Mini Keyboard for $25 at NewEgg. or Keyboard You can use it wireless, or plug it into the USB port, and never worry about batteries. It has the proper "inverted T" formation of the arrow keys, and a full numeric keypad including big + and ENTER keys on the numeric keypad. That keyboard is quite compact and should fit into your laptop carry case. You caqn also search Amazon for replacement keyboards for your laptop. Some of them are even cheaper, and many of them include illustrated replacement instructions. "Take sharp dagger and pry up decorating stripper further of keyboard and take Phillips screw extrator/driver and undo both screwes in visibility..." It's not really difficult, and translating the instructions will have you chuckling. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Crockpot Rustic Ham and Potatoes Don't you just love recipes that combine pre-made ingredients along with fresh? It saves you so much time! This easy recipe begins with 2 humble boxes of Au Gratin potatoes. When combined with savory turkey ham and a bunch of veggies, it is transformed into a meal you will want to make again and again. At least I do.:) The best part is, if you forget to start this in the morning (which I always do), you can crank your trusty crockpot up to high and this delicious meal will be ready in less than 3 hours! Approximate Time: About 10 minutes prep. Yield: 6-8 main servings Ingredients: 2-4 9 oz. boxes Au Gratin potatoes, cheese packet included 3 cups turkey ham, cubed (regular ham may be used) 1 1/2 chopped bell peppers, green, red, or yellow....a mixture is nice 1 large carrot, shredded 1 1/2 cup thawed frozen peas 2 cups water 2 cups whole milk 1/4 tsp black pepper 2 cups extra sharp cheddar cheese Steps: Place potatoes and cheese packets in a large bowl. Pour 2 cups warm water over all, mix well. Pour your milk in, along with your pepper, mix well. Add in all of your chopped veggies and cheese, mix well. Pour your ingredients into a greased slow cooker, cook on the high setting for about 2 hours and 50 minutes. I haven't tried this, but I imagine they would also cook on low for around 6 hours or so. Enjoy! Source: Modified from a Rival crockpot booklet. By melissa [66] ______________________________________________________ "You and your husband don't seem to have an awful lot in common," said the new tenant's neighbor. "Why on earth did you get married?" "I suppose it was the old business of 'opposites attract'," was the reply. "He wasn't pregnant and I was."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
>From Roland A lawyer phoned the governor's mansion shortly after midnight. "I need to talk to the governor -- it's an emergency!" exclaimed the lawyer. After some cajoling, the governor's assistant agreed to wake him up. "So, what is it that's so important that it can't wait until morning?" grumbled the governor. "Judge Pierson just died, and I want to take his place," begged the attorney. "Well, it's OK with me if it's OK with the funeral home," replied the governor. _____________________________________________________ A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over. The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away when the man asked, "Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don't think it's fair - there were plenty of other cars around me who were going just as fast, so why did *I* get the ticket?" "Ever go fishing?" the policeman asked the man. "Ummm, yeah..." the startled man replied. The officer grinned and added, "Ever catch *all* the fish?" _____________________________________________________ >From Lillemor The Prophet Muhammad's wife furiously called him a pedophile. He replied, "that's a mighty big word for a 9 year old!"
Brothers make giant snow sculptures on front lawn over the years. What wonderful memories they are building.

Today in 
1793 During the French Revolution, King Louis XVI was 
 executed on the guillotine. He had been condemned for treason. 
1812 The Y-bridge in Zanesville, OH, was approved for 
1846 The first issue of the "Daily News," edited by 
 Charles Dickens, was published. 
1853 Dr. Russell L. Hawes patented the envelope folding 

1861 The future president of the Confederacy, Jefferson 
 Davis of Mississippi, resigned from the U.S. Senate. 
 Four other Southerners also resigned. 
1865 An oil well was drilled by torpedoes for the first time. 
1900 Canadian troops set sail to fight in South Africa. 
 The Boers had attacked Ladysmith on January 8, 1900. 
1911 The first Monte Carlo car rally was held. Seven days 
 later it was won by Henri Rougier. 
1924 Soviet leader Vladimir Llyich Lenin died. Joseph Stalin 
 began a purge of his rivals for the leadership of the 
 Soviet Union. 
1941 The British communist newspaper, the "Daily Worker," 
 was banned due to wartime restrictions. 
1954 The Nautilus was launched in Groton, CT. It was the 
 first atomic-powered submarine. U.S. First Lady Mamie 
 Eisenhower broke the traditional bottle of champagne
1954 The gas turbine automobile was introduced in New 
 York City. 
1970 The Boeing 747 made its first commercial flight 
 from New York to London for Pan American. 
1976 The French Concorde SST aircraft began regular 
 commercial service for Air France and British Airways. 
1977 U.S. President Carter pardoned almost all Vietnam War 
 draft evaders. 
1980 Gold was valued at $850 an ounce. 
1994 A jury in Manassas, VA, acquitted Lorena Bobbitt by 
 reason of temporary insanity of maliciously wounding 
 (severing his penis) her husband John. She accused him 
 of sexually assaulting her. 
1997 Newt Gingrich was fined as the U.S. House of 
 Representatvies voted for first time in history to 
 discipline its leader for ethical misconduct. 
1998 A former White House intern said on tape that she 
 had an affair with U.S. President Clinton. 
1999 The U.S. Coast Guard intercepted a ship headed for 
 Houston, TX, that had over 9,500 pounds of cocaine aboard. 
 It was one of the largest drug busts in U.S. history. 
2002 In Goma, Congo, about fifty people were killed when 
 lava flow ignited a gas station. The people killed were 
 trying to steal fuel from elevated tanks. The eruption 
 of Mount Nyiragongo began on January 17, 2002. 
2003 It was announced by the U.S. Census Bureau that estimates 
 showed that the Hispanic population had passed the black 
 population for the first time.
2015  smiled.

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