Good Morning, ,

Today is Tuesday, February 3

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Florida robber, who claims he 
He Wasn't 'Good At The Robbery Thing'
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1690 The first paper money in America was issued by the 
 Massachusetts colony. The currency was used to pay soldiers 
 that were fighting in the war against Quebec. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History



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If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






What is the difference between unethical and ethical advertising? 
Unethical advertising uses falsehoods to deceive the public; 
ethical advertising uses truth to deceive the public.
--- Vilhjalmur Stefansson (1879 - 1962)

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I volunteered recently to perform a parachute jump for 
charity. On our first day of training, the instructor made 
an important point about preparing for landing at 300 feet. 

"How do you know when you're at 300 feet?" asked one woman. 

"A good question," replied the instructor. "At 300 feet you 
can recognize the faces of people on the ground." 

The woman thought about this for awhile before saying, 
"What happens if there's no one there I know?" 

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>From Helga
He didn't like the casserole
And he didn't like my cake.
My biscuits were too hard, 
Not like his mother used to make. 

I didn't perk the coffee right
He didn't like the stew. 
I didn't mend his socks, 
The way his mother used to do. 

I pondered for an answer 
I was looking for a clue. 
Then I turned around and smacked him,
Like his Mother used to do. 

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Thanks to Roy for this picture:


Click through for the big picture
Monastery in Armenia


If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
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Thanks for your votes!


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
goes to 


Stewart Charles McNeal, 
34,
Delray Beach, 
Florida,


McNeal Tells Police 
He Wasn't 'Good At The 
Robbery Thing'

He gets points for honesty.

A man who allegedly attempted to rob a Dunkin' Donuts 
admitted to police that he "wasn't very good at the 
robbery thing."

Stewart Charles McNeal, 34, turned himself in last Thursday 
after police in Delray Beach, Florida, circulated a 
surveillance photo of a robbery of the donut store that took 
place Jan. 21, WPTV reports.

McNeal allegedly entered the Dunkin' Donuts around 12:20 .m. 
wearing a mask. Cops said he waited in line for several 
minutes before going up to the counter with a gun in hand.

The clerk ignored him and attended to another customer, the 
Palm Beach Post reports.

At one point, cops said, McNeal pulled off his mask and 
continued to wait for the employee to acknowledge him so 
he could commence with the robbery.

McNeal allegedly took an undisclosed amount of money from 
a cash register and asked an employee to "forgive him." 
He allegedly left in a Honda Accord that was driven by an 
accomplice the suspect called "Chris," CBS12 reports. 
The driver is still on the loose, according to police.

McNeal told police when he saw photos of himself everywhere, 
he figured the jig was up and turned himself in. He allegedly
 said the robbery was strictly to feed his drug habit, and 
admitted he "wasn't very good at the robbery thing," WPTV reports.

McNeal is being held on a $20,000 bond on a charge of robbery 
with a firearm.
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Tech Support Pits
From: Svend
Re: Scandahoovian characters
	
Dear Webby,
Did I miss something on the Deeproot way of typing 
in missing characters on the keyboard?  - I don't 
see the scandihoovian ones like æ Æ ø Ø and å Å.
Svend


Did you download and install it, or are you just 
looking at the screenshot?

Once you got it installed, click on the gear at the 
bottom, and select #2,
Latin - Western Europe, Nordic

There you got all the scandihøøvian Œhæräctërs.

Have FUN!
DearWebby
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If you can help with the  cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!




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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Gorilla Glue for Repairing an Air Mattress
Get Gorilla Glue, you can find it anywhere. Get a piece 
of fabric like a T-shirt. Cut it into small squares. 
Deflate the air mattress in this process and know where 
your pinhole is! Put Gorilla Glue on the felt and then 
on the fabric. Push it on to the hole. Then get a hair
 dryer, keep a little far away on warm for 2 minutes. 
Let it dry 3 to 4 hours. Fill your bed up and it's done.
Hope I helped someone, good luck!
By michael lonsdorf [1]
  
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>From Max
I'd been working on my business degree for about a year 
when I finally got to take a popular finance course. I went 
to the bookstore to buy the text and was shocked to find out 
that it would cost me $96. I asked how much it was worth if 
I sold it back at the end of the semester. 

"You'll get $24," said the clerk. 

"This is insane," I protested as I wrote out the check. 

"I know," replied the clerk sympathetically. "I've always 
thought that a person who buys a book for $96 and then 
sells it for $24 should fail the course." 



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt 
in confirmation request. 

The deliveryman looked over the gate towards the house which 
was his package's destination, and saw a large and aggressive-
looking dog on the lawn, staring at him. There was also a 
woman looking at him from an open first-floor window. He 
shouted to the woman, "Is your dog friendly?" 

She said, "Yes, MY dog is friendly." 

So the deliveryman opened the gate, and was promptly savaged 
by the dog. 

When he had been rescued from the dog, the deliveryman 
angrily said to the woman, "I thought you said your dog 
was friendly!" 

"MY dog is friendly and inside here with me." said the woman, 
"The one you wrestled with is not my dog." 

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Here is an annual favorite:
Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly
Gates. St. Peter said, "I'd like to get you guys in now, but our computer's
down. You'll have to go back to Earth for about a week, but you can't go
back as priests. What'll it be?"

The first priest says, "I've always wanted to be an eagle, soaring above the
Rocky Mountains."

"So be it," says St. Peter, and off flies the first priest.

The second priest mulls this over for a moment and asks,
"Will any of this week 'count', St. Peter?"

"No, I told you the computer's down. There's no way we can keep track of
what you're doing."

"In that case," says the second priest, "I've always wanted to be a stud."

"So be it" says St. Peter, and the second priest disappears.

A week goes by, the computer is fixed, and the Lord tells St. Peter to
recall the two priests.
"Will you have any trouble locating them?" He asks.

"The first one should be easy," says St. Peter. "He's somewhere over the
Rockies, flying with the eagles. But the second one could prove to be more
difficult."

"Why?" asketh the Lord.

"He's on a snow tire, somewhere in Montana."





Let's travel!






Today in 
1488 The Portuguese navigator Bartholomeu Diaz landed at 
 Mossal Bay in the Cape, the first European known to have 
 landed on the southern extremity of Africa. 
1690 The first paper money in America was issued by the 
 Massachusetts colony. The currency was used to pay soldiers 
 that were fighting in the war against Quebec. 
1783 Spain recognized the independence of the United States. 
1815 The world's first commercial cheese factory was 
 established in Switzerland. 
1862 Thomas Edison printed the "Weekly Herald" and distributed 
 it to train passengers traveling between Port Huron and 
 Detroit, MI. It was the first time a newspaper had been printed 
 on a train. 
1913 The 16th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was ratified. 
 It authorized the power to impose and collect income tax. 
1916 In Ottawa, Canada's original parliament buildings burned down. 
1917 The U.S. broke off diplomatic relations with Germany, which 
 had announced a policy of unrestricted submarine warfare. 
1918 The Twin Peaks Tunnel began service. It is the longest 
 streetcar tunnel in the world at 11,920 feet. 
1941 In Vichy, France, the Nazis used force to restore 
 Pierre Laval to office. 
1945 Russia agreed to enter World War II against Japan. 
1966 The first rocket-assisted controlled landing on the 
 Moon was made by the Soviet space vehicle Luna IX. 
1969 At the Palestinian National Congress in Cairo, 
 Yasser Arafat was appointed leader of the PLO. 
1972 The first Winter Olympics in Asia were held at Sapporo
1998 Texas executed Karla Faye Tucker. She was the first woman 
 executed in the U.S. since 1984. 
1998 In Italy, a U.S. Military plane hit a cable causing 
 the death of 20 skiers on a lift. 
2009 Eric Holder was sworn in as attorney general. He was the 
 first African-American to hold the post. 
2010 The Alberto Giacometti sculpture L'Homme qui marche sold 
 for $103.7 million. 
2015  smiled.