Useless Outlook error message 

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Today is Tuesday, February 10

Have FUN!

Today's Bonehead Award goes to a

Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1763 The Treaty of Paris ended the French and Indian War. 
 In the treaty France ceded Canada to England. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History

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It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them. --- Alfred Adler (1870 - 1937) ______________________________________________________ A minister was rather long-winded. During his sermon a young wife in the congregation remembered that she had left the Sunday dinner in the gas range without regulating the flame. She hastily wrote a note and slipped it to her husband, who was an usher. He, thinking it was for the minister, calmly walked up and laid it on the pulpit. The minister paused, took the note with a smile, which turned into a terrific frown as he read: "Please hurry home and shut off the gas." ______________________________________________________ A young woman enters the convent. One of her first duties is to drive the Mother Superior to the local Diocese. Needless to say the young nun is a little apprehensive about getting such an important job to do right off the bat. So the two of them set off down the highway, the young nun driving and the Mother Superior sitting quietly in the back. No sooner do they start this journey when out of nowhere this red object drops out of the sky and lands on the hood of their car! Low and behold, it's the Devil himself! He crawls up to the window and starts making lewd gestures at the young nun. The young nun looks back at the Mother Superior and says, "Mother Superior! The Devil's on the hood of the car! What should I do?" The Mother Superior says in a calm voice, "My child... you are a nun! Show him your cross!" With that the young nun rolls down the window, leans her head out and screams: "YOU @#$%$#@& &@%$# GET THE @#$#@% OFF THE @#$@$#% CAR!" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Roy for this picture: Click through for the big picture Mt Fuji
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Anneliese Young, 82, Augusta Georgia Georgia Woman, 82, Arrested For Theft Of "Sexiest Fantasies" Body Spray An 82-year-old woman is facing a larceny charge after she was caught trying to steal a bottle of “Sexiest Fantasies” body spray from a CVS pharmacy near her Georgia home, police report. Anneliese Young, the accused octogenarian, was collared when a store worker spotted her placing the item inside her purse. Young then walked out of the Augusta business without paying for the $7.39 body spray, according to a police report. Young, pictured in the above mug shot, was confronted by a pharmacy employee outide the store on January 27. While the apologetic pensioner copped to the theft and handed over the “Sexiest Fantasies” spray, Richmond County Sheriff’s Office deputies were summoned to the store. Young was arrested after a CVS employee “advised that she did wish to prosecute.” Pictured in the above mug shot, Young was arrested and briefly booked into the county jail. The “Sexiest Fantasies” body spray that Young sought to pinch was the brand’s “Fireworks” fragrance. According to the manufacturer, the spray “provides a burst of sensuality as plump wild strawberries, succulent peaches, and voluptuous vanilla come together to create a fragrance as addictive and seductive as the woman who wears it.” The product is also reportedly “sure to drive any man wild.” ------------- For best results carry a hot pizza, when you show up. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Roland Re: Outlook error message Dear Webby, was not able to complete this request. Microsoft may contact you about any issue This notice shows up every time outlook is opened. Do not recall sending any thing to Outlook. Can you give me a idea on this or how to delete it. Thank you: Roland and Ruth Ann Dear Roland That is reason #934 why I don't use Outlook. Don't expect Microsoft to contact you. They don't seem to know what causes that. A lot of people have that nuisance problem. Some people got rid of that thilly message by cleaning the auto-complete like this: Close Outlook and use the /cleanautocompletecache startup switch. To use, press Windows key + R to open the run command then paste outlook.exe /cleanautocompletecache and hit ENTER. Hopefully that helps! Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Removing Tissue From Laundry Much as we all try, sometimes we leave a tissue in a pocket of our pants and wash them. Then, the clothes will be covered in lint. There's no need to rewash the load, just put a fabric softener sheet in the dryer and tumble for a while. I don't even use a whole one, because I cut them in thirds. Most of the lint will wind up in your lint trap. I don't use dryer sheets as a rule, because I don't like the toxins they release, but I consider this an emergency, and like I said, I cut them in thirds anyway. By J-Kat [6] ______________________________________________________ When Jean arrived for her daughter's parent-teacher conference, the teacher seemed a bit flustered, especially when she started telling her that her little girl didn't always pay attention in class and was sometimes a little flighty. "For example, she'll do the wrong page in the workbook," the teacher explained, "and I've even found her sitting in the wrong desk." "I don't understand that," Jean replied defensively. "Where could she have gotten that?" The teacher went on to reassure her that her daughter was still doing fine in school and was sweet and likeable. Finally, after a pause, she added, "By the way, Mrs. Johnson, our appointment was for tomorrow."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
Two doctors opened an office in a small town and put up a sign reading, "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, Psychiatry and Proctology." The town council was not too happy with that sign, so the doctors changed it to "Hysterias and Posteriors." This was not acceptable either, so in an effort to satisfy the council, they changed the sign to "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids." No go! Next they tried "Catatonics and High Colonics." Thumbs down again. Then came, "Manic-depressives and Anal-retentives." Still not good enough. How about, "Minds and Behinds." Unacceptable again. So they tried, "Inner Souls and Outer Holes." Still no go. Nor did; "Analysis and Anal Cysts", "Nuts and Butts", "Freaks and Cheeks", or "Loons and Moons" work either. Almost at their wits' end, the doctors finally came up with a title they thought might be acceptable to the council; "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, Odds and Ends." "APPROVED!" _____________________________________________________ OPEN HOUSE BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON FREE COFFEE & DONUTS
People messing with statues are downright hilarious.

Today in 
1763 The Treaty of Paris ended the French and Indian War. 
 In the treaty France ceded Canada to England. 
1840 Britain's Queen Victoria married Prince Albert of 
 Saxe Coburg-Gotha. 
1846 Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day 
 Saints began their exodus to the west from Illinois. 
1863 The fire extinguisher was patented by Alanson Crane. 
1870 The YWCA was founded in New York City. 
1879 The electric arc light was used for the first time. 
1925 The first waterless gas storage tank was placed in 
 service in Michigan City, IN. 
1933 The singing telegram was introduced by the Postal 
 Telegraph Company of New York City. 
1935 The Pennsylvania Railroad began passenger service with 
 its electric locomotive. The engine was 79-1/2 feet long 
 and weighed 230 tons. 
1942 The Normandie, the former French liner, capsized in 
 New York Harbor. The day before the ship had caught fire 
 while it was being fitted for the U.S. Navy. 
1962 The Soviet Union exchanged capture American U2 pilot 
 Francis Gary Powers for the Soviet spy Rudolph Ivanovich 
 Abel being held by the U.S. 
1981 The Las Vegas Hilton hotel-casino caught fire. Eight 
 people were killed and 198 were injured. 
1990 South African President F.W. de Klerk announced that 
 black activist Nelson Mandela would be released the next 
 day after 27 years in captivity. 
1992 Mike Tyson was convicted in Indianapolis of raping 
 Desiree Washington, Miss Black American contestant. 
1997 The U.S. Army suspended its top-ranking enlisted soldier, 
 Army Sgt. Major Gene McKinney following allegations of sexual 
 misconduct. McKinney was convicted of obstruction of justice 
 and acquitted of 18 counts alleging sexual harassment of 
 six military women. 
2005 North Korea publicly announced for the first time that 
 it had nuclear arms. The country also rejected attempts 
 to restart disarmament talks in the near future saying that 
 it needed the weapons as protection against an increasingly 
 hostile United States. 
2009 A Russian and an American satellite collide over Siberia. 
2015  smiled.

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