What to do when there are not enough USB ports 

Good Morning, ,

Today is Friday, February 20
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

The flight to Europe was OK, even though they managed to
shoehorn a couple of extra rows into the planes. Climbing 
into and out of my window seat was an interesting exercise 

In Amsterdam I was sure glad, that Karolyne had specified 
"wheelchair assisted". I don't know what the people, who
designed that place, were smoking, but it is giving dope
a bad name!

Between AN electric cart and a marathon runner pushing a
wheelchair at full galop, they did get me to the connecting 
flight in less than one and a half hours. Boarding had just 
finished, but the door was still open. Don't try that alone!

Zurich was not quite as bad, even though we had landed at an
unplanned destination. They soon found some stairs. Then a bus 
first, then an electric cart and finally a runner pushing two
wheelchairs simultaneously eventually got me to the exit. 
The train station is just across the street and not confusing
once you go down a level.

If you go there, keep in mind that toilets cost 2 Swiss Franks 
or €2 in that train station. Luckily I had remembered that and
had a few Euro coins in my wallet, and even could give some 
to a lady with crossed legs and tears streaming down her face.

I had a few hours to spare there, so I wandered around and
found the Austrian train, that I had to take to Austria, 
sitting there waiting while it was getting cleaned. 
It had free toilets.

I never saw any conductor or any train staff then or later,
other than the janitors. Nobody at all was interested in my 
on-line ticket, that I had printed in Canada.

When the train called "RailJet" took off, it was like 
watching a train on another rail moving. No noise or 
vibration at all, even when it picked up speed and moved
at 240. Quite amazing!
Here is a picture of the suspension:

The "tire" in the middle carries the train, the rest of the
machinery is just for shock absorbing.

Have FUN!

Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Californian who punched himself in face and claimed 
police brutality, but was on video.
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1673 The first recorded wine auction took place in London.
More of what happened on this day in history at History

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
First learn the meaning of what you say, and then speak. --- Epictetus (55 AD - 135 AD) Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future. --- Niels Bohr (1885 - 1962) ______________________________________________________ A sixth grade class is doing some spelling drills. The teacher asks Tommy if he can spell 'before.' He stands up and says, "Before, B-E-P-H-O-R." The teacher says, "No, that's wrong. Can anyone else spell before?" Another little boy stands up and says, "Before, B-E-F-O-O-R." Again the teacher says, "No, that's wrong." Then the teacher asks, ", can you spell 'before'?" stands up and says, "Before, B-E-F-O-R-E." "Excellent , now can you use it in a sentence?" says, "That's easy. Two plus two be fore." --------------- If you didn't put your first name into the FIRST NAME slot, when you subscribed, and put "Hotensia Wilton-Chamberlain III" in there, that joke falls kinda flat. When you are ready to correct the FIRST NAME field, let me know. I can fix that in a few seconds. ______________________________________________________ A golfer whose car broke down flagged down a passing bus and got aboard. With his pockets bulging with golf balls he carefully lowered himself onto a seat next to a little old lady. The little old lady kept looking quizzically at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her he said, "It's golf balls." She loked at him full of pity and compassion and asked: "Does it hurt as bad as tennis elbow?" ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture Last rays of sunshine over Hudson Bay
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Aleksander Robin Tomas­zewski, 33, Lucerne, California Man Punches Self In Face, Claims Police Brutality A California man has been found guilty of attempted coercion after falsely claiming police attacked him. Lucerne resident Aleksander Robin Tomas­zewski, 33, was arrested Jan. 9 on charges of stalking and first-degree s exual abuse, the Register Guard reported. During an interview that day, Tomaszewski said detectives assaulted him and said he wanted to press charges. His face was covered in bruises. The suspect didn't count on surveillance video in his jail cell, however, which shows him pounding his own face more than 40 times. When confronted with the video that authorities released to the public Tuesday, Tomaszewski told police he thought the complaint might get him an earlier release, Oregon Live reported. Instead, Tomaszewski will have to settle for both a bruised face and ego. He was found guilty of initiating a false police report last week and was sentenced to 20 days in jail and a $500 fine, the Associated Press reports. 15:39 2/19/2015 4______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Miranda Re: Not enough USB sockets Dear Webby, I don't have enough USB sockets, but always need at least one more. Miranda Dear Miranda If you get a wireless Logitech mouse and Keyboard, then you can use a Logitech "Unifying" USB plug. Actually, you can take care of up to six pieces of hardware with one Logitech USB plug. The alternative is to go to your local Dollar Store and buy a USB hub with 4 or 6 sockets. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Recycled Photophore Solid gel air fresheners usually have a quite nice floral or geometrical pattern under the plastic film you have to pull off. Once it has dried out, instead of throwing it away, open it (you just have to slide anything flat around the top cover), take off the dry gel, and put a LED votive candle inside. Et voilą! A nice little photophore that can even safely go outside. By Catherine [7] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
Sometimes, when I'm in class, I dream that I'm on a tropical island, with a dozen or more scantily clad females beside me, sitting under a huge palm tree, with some soft gentle music being played on some traditional wood instruments of that region, and a cool gentle breeze caressing my tanned body. I do all this while trying to forget I'm in a classroom. Of course, it would be so much easier without everyone yelling at me to keep teaching. _____________________________________________________ (When you re-tell this joke, you'll have to replace Kentucky and Tennesee with the names of states in your area.) On the border of Kentucky and Tennessee there's a small forest. Half of the forest belongs to a Kentucky farmer, while the other half belongs to a Tennessee man. One day, while out for a walk in the woods, the Tennessee man comes across a wolf caught in a trap. He rushes back to his house and calls his Kentucky neighbor. "There's one of your wolves caught in a trap on my side of the forest." "How do you know it's one of *our* wolves?" the Kentucky farmer asked. "Well," the Tennessee man replied, "he's already chewed off three of his legs and he's still trapped."
Old photos tell us so much about the past. They also tell us, sadly, that history repeats itself.

Today in 
1673 The first recorded wine auction took place in London.
1792 U.S. President George Washington signed the Postal 
  Service Act thereby creating the U.S. Post Office.
1809 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled the power of the federal 
  government was greater than that of any individual state.
1839 The U.S. Congress prohibited dueling in the District 
  of Columbia.
1872 Luther Crowell received a patent for a machine that 
  manufactured paper bags.
1872 Silas Noble and J.P. Cooley patented the toothpick 
  manufacturing machine.
1931 The U.S. Congress allowed California to build the 
  Oakland Bay Bridge.
1933 The U.S. House of Representatives completed congressional 
  action on the amendment to repeal Prohibition.
1944 "Big Week" began as U.S. bombers began raiding German 
  aircraft manufacturing centers during World War II.
1962 John Glenn made space history when he orbited the world 
  three times in 4 hours, 55 minutes. He was the first American 
  to orbit the Earth. He was aboard the Friendship 7 
  Mercury capsule.
1965 Ranger 8 crashed on the moon after sending back thousands 
  of pictures of its surface.
1987 A bomb exploded in a computer store in Salt Lake City, UT. 
  The blast was blamed on the Unabomber.
2002 In Reqa Al-Gharbiya, Egypt, a fire raced through a train 
  killing at least 370 people and injuring at least 65.
2003 In West Warwick, RI, 99 people were killed when fire 
  destroyed the nightclub The Station. The fire started with 
  sparks from a pyrotechnic display being used by Great White. 
  Ty Longley, guitarist for Great White, was one of the victims 
  in the fire.
2015  smiled.

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