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Today is Tuesday, March 3

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Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
Irish car burglar, who is dumber than a brick
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1945 During World War II, Finland changed to the winning side and
 declared war on the Axis. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
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Books to the ceiling, Books to the sky, My pile of books is a mile high. How I love them! How I need them! I'll have a long beard by the time I read them. --- Arnold Lobel ______________________________________________________ At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl. Immediately she began flattering him outrageously. The guy liked the young lady, but was taken a bit aback by her fast and ardent pitch. He was amazed when after 30 minutes she seriously proposed marriage. "Look," he said. "We only met a half hour ago. How can you be so sure? We know nothing about each other." "You're wrong," she smiled. "For the past 5 years I've been working in the back of the bank where you have your account. I know all I need to know about you." ______________________________________________________ Being able to turn your grandchildren into spoiled brats is God's reward for not killing your children. ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture Loch Tay
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and a Darwin Award goes to Irish Man ID and mugshot protected by Irish laws Dumber than a brick A would-be thief in Ireland attempted to break into a car by throwing a brick into the vehicle's window, only for the brick to bounce back and knock the man unconscious, CCTV video obtained by the Irish Independent shows. The owner of the nearby Pheasant pub and the car that fought back, Gerry Brady, came out to investigate and saw the man lying in a pool of his own blood. That's when the suspect attempted to blackmail him, he said. More from the Independent: “When the Gardaí picked him up, he started claiming that I attacked him. He was still telling them that in the station when I came in with the footage of him getting knocked out by his own brick.” “You should have heard the gardai laughing when they saw the video. They were in stitches. Credit to them, they were straight out when we called and found the guy within minutes.” The man was quickly collected by authorities, and the incident remains under investigation. Items he had stolen from other cars were returned. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Tom Re: Telephone filters Dear Webby, We get a lot of interference on our phones, too, because of DSL. Our ISP supplies filters which plug in at each phone jack, Unplug the phone line, insert the filter, plug the phone line into the back end of the filter and Voila!! No more static or interference. Hope this helps. tom Dear Tom If that helps, good for you! Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A first-grade girl came home from school. She was very happy, and her Mom noticed this. Mom asked, "What makes you so happy today?" The girl said, "Mom, we learned how to make babies in school today!" Thinking that first grade was a bit early for that, she asked her daughter to tell her how. "It's easy, Mom -- you just drop the 'y', and add 'i-e-s', " the daughter said. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Seedling Pots From Phone Book Pages I still tape my homemade seedling pots as I have not mastered the crimping technique. I would like to add though, if you have access to phone books, the pages are the perfect size for seedling pots. Without any cutting, and depending the size of your form and how the page is folded, you can make pots in a variety of sizes. Very small pots will require only one page, while large pots should be made with two to three layers of pages. By likekinds [63] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Several women, each trying to one-up the other, appeared in ourt, each accusing the others of causing the trouble they were having in the apartment building where they lived. The judge, with Solomon-like wisdom decreed, "Okay, I'm ready to hear the evidence...I'll hear the oldest first." The case was dismissed for lack of testimony. _____________________________________________________ My Grandmother is ninetyfive and still doesn't need glasses... She drinks straight out of the bottle. An elderly couple were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Greg noticed something funny about Keli's ear and he said, "Keli, did you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?" Keli answered, "I have? A suppository?" She pulled it out and stared at it. Then she said, "Greg, I'm glad you saw this thing. Now I know why my farts sound so loud." _____________________________________________________
Beautifully painted feathers. The dogs and hawk are my favorite.

Today in 
1812 The U.S. Congress passed the first foreign aid bill. 
1817 The first commercial steamboat route from Louisville to 
 New Orleans was opened. 
1845 The U.S. Congress passed legislation overriding a 
 U.S. President’s veto. It was the first time the Congress 
 had achieved this. 
1857 Britain and France declared war on China. 
1878 Russia and the Ottomans signed the treaty of San Stenafano. 
 The treaty granted independence to Romania, Serbia, Montenegro, 
 and the autonomy of Bulgaria. 
1900 Striking miners in Germany returned to work. 
1903 In St. Louis, MO, Barney Gilmore was arrested for spitting. 
1903 The U.S. imposed a $2 head tax on immigrants. 
1904 Wilhelm II of Germany made the first recording of a political 
 document with Thomas Edison's cylinder. 
1905 The Russian Czar agreed to create an elected assembly. 
1906 A Frenchman tried the first flight in an airplane with tires. 
1908 The U.S. government declared open war on on U.S. anarchists. 
1909 Aviators Herring, Curtiss and Bishop announced that airplanes 
 would be made commercially in the U.S. 
1910 Nicaraguan rebels admitted defeat in open war and resorted to 
 guerrilla tactics in the hope of U.S. intervention. 
1918 The Treaty of Brest Litovsky was signed by Germany, Austria 
 and Russia. The treaty ended Russia's participation in WW I. 
1931 The "Star Spangled Banner," written by Francis Scott Key, was 
 adopted as the American national anthem. The song was originally 
 a poem known as "Defense of Fort McHenry." 
1939 In Bombay, Ghandi began a fast to protest the state's 
 autocratic rule. 
1941 Moscow denounced the Axis rule in Bulgaria. 
1945 During World War II, Finland changed to the winning side and
 declared war on the Axis. 
1952 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld New York's Feinberg Law that 
 banned Communist teachers in the U.S. 
1956 Morocco gained its independence. 
1969 Apollo 9 was launched by NASA to test a lunar module. 
1969 Sirhan Sirhan testified in a Los Angeles court that he 
 killed Robert Kennedy. 
1973 Japan disclosed its first defense plan since WWII. 
1974 About 350 people died when a Turkish Airlines DC-10 
 crashed just after takeoff from Orly Airport in Paris. 
1978 The remains of Charles Chaplin were stolen from his 
 grave in Cosier-sur-Vevey, Switzerland. The body was 
 recovered 11 weeks later near Lake Geneva. 
1980 The submarine Nautilus was decommissioned. The vessels 
 final voyage had ended on May 26, 1979. 
1987 The U.S. House of Representatives rejected a package of 
 $30 million in non-lethal aid for the Nicaraguan Contras. 
1991 Rodney King was severely beaten by Los Angeles police 
 officers. The scene was captured on amateur video.
1994 The Mexican government reached a peace agreement with 
 the Chiapas rebels. 
1995 A U.N. peacekeeping mission in Somalia ended. Several 
 gunmen were killed by U.S. Marines in Mogadishu while 
 overseeing the pull out of peacekeepers. 
1999 In Egypt, 19 people were killed when a bus plunged 
 into a Nile canal. 
1999 Bertrand Piccard and Brian Jones began their attempt to 
 circumnavigate the Earth in a hot air balloon non-stop. 
 They succeeded on March 20, 1999.
2015  smiled.

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