W7 freezes without notice 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, March 7

Have FUN!

Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
Ohio man called 911 to report wife stole his cocaine
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
0322 BC Aristotle, the Greek philosopher, died. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have been searching for evidence which could support this. --- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970) ______________________________________________________ A policeman spots a woman driving and knitting at the same time. Driving up beside her, he shouts out the window... "Pull over!" "No," she shouts back, "Socks!" ______________________________________________________ Frantic Woman on phone: "Doctor, my Son just swallowed a nickel, and he's coughing up dimes. What do I do?!?" Doctor: "Keep feeding him Nickels!!!" ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Robert Collins, 39, Alliance, Ohio Man Calls 911 To Report Wife Stole His Cocaine March 6 An Ohio man called 911 to report that his wife had stolen his cocaine, according to cops who subsequently arrested him on drug and other charges. Robert Collins, 39, dialed the police emergency line late Wednesday night to report the cocaine theft, according to an Alliance Police Department report that does not detail the wherabouts of Collins’s spouse or the cocaine. When officers arrived at Collins’s residence, he apparently had a change of heart and “refused to tell police why he called 911.” Investigators reported that Collins, who “had a pipe used to smoke marijuana in his possession,” was “arrested and charged with misuse of 911 and drug paraphernalia.” He also had an active arrest warrant in connection with a 2013 criminal case. Collins, pictured above, was booked into the Stark County jail on the misdemeanor counts. He is scheduled for arraignment today in Municipal Court in Alliance, a city about 60 miles from Cleveland. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ann Re: Computer freezing up Webby, Hi Webby: Hope all is going good with you. I have a quick question. My PC keeps freezing up and no matter what browser I use it still freezes. I am currently using the up to date Firefox. I tried everything to fix this, ran malware, anti virus, Mr. Fix it, etc. they can't find a thing wrong. Can you help??? Using Windows 7 Home, PC is 7 years old Ann Dear Ann That sounds like a connection problem. Connection problems are a real nuisance, because you can't really test anything, while the PC is frozen. Sometimes you can hit CTRL SHIFT ESC and start the task manager, and from there end programs, that are not needed at the moment. At the same time, look for programs in there, that are new or unusual. You can sort the programs various different ways. I prefer "Processes", and dump the ones, that hog too many resources. Even though the jam had been caused by connectivity problems, taking a load off the machine usually helps it to recover. To sort out connectivity problems you have to contact your ISP. On a long shot, it could also be possible, that your Adobe Flash Player is out of date and needs to be updated. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Q: If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside? A: K9P ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Lemon and Baking Soda for Cleaning Microwave To get the caked on food in your microwave to wipe right off, follow this tip. I learned this years ago and it makes my life a little easier. Fill a microwave-safe container with water. I add a few lemon slices and a few tablespoons of baking soda to remove any odors. Microwave on high for 3 minutes. Let the container stay in the microwave for about 5 minutes. It will create a sauna in there. After 5 minutes, carefully remove the container and wipe down the inside of the microwave. It will come off so easily. By Becky [28] A saucer full of water is plenty, unless you let beans explode and cake to the walls and ceiling of the microwave for years. An easy tip to avoid the mess in the first place is to use a plastic cake cover to cover your food, and once a season toss the cake cover into the dishwater. Disposable "Cake Domes" cost about ten cents. Get one with a handle molded into the top, not the expensive ones with metal handles. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Monica N. wrote: "... I was wandering around the 'net recently, and GOSH! I found a whole bunch of PHILATELISTS. And then I discovered groups populated by THESPIANS and HOMO SAPIENS. And I found hundreds -- not dozens, but HUNDREDS -- of educational institutions funded by MY TAX DOLLARS... teaching people to MATRICULATE. We need to pass laws to control the Internet and protect our children!" _____________________________________________________ Morris complained to his doctor, "I've been to three other doctors and none of them agreed with your diagnosis." The doctor got rather upset that his word was doubted and yelled: "You just wait until the autopsy, then you will see that I was right." _____________________________________________________
Animals have a sense of humor.

Today in 
0322 BC Aristotle, the Greek philosopher, died. 
1774 The British closed the port of Boston to all commerce. 
1799 In Palestine, Napoleon captured Jaffa and his men 
 massacred more than 2,000 Albanian prisoners. 
1848 In Hawaii, the Great Mahele was signed. 
1849 The Austrian Reichstag was dissolved. 
1854 Charles Miller received a patent for the sewing machine. 
1876 Alexander Graham Bell received a patent for his telephone. 
1901 It was announced that blacks had been found enslaved in 
 parts of South Carolina. 
1904 The Japanese bombed the Russian town of Vladivostok. 
1904 In Springfield, OH, a mob broke into a jail and shot a 
 black man accused of murder. 
1906 Finland granted women the right to vote. 
1908 Cincinnati's Mayor Leopold Markbreit announced before 
 the city council that, "Women are not physically fit to 
 operate automobiles." 
1911 Willis Farnworth patented the coin-operated locker. 
1911 In the wake of the Mexican Revolution, the U.S. sent 
 20,000 troops to the border of Mexico. 
1918 Finland signed an alliance treaty with Germany. 
1925 The Soviet Red Army occupied Outer Mongolia. 
1933 The board game Monopoly was invented. 
1935 Malcolm Campbell set an auto speed record of 276.8 mph 
 in Florida. 
1936 Hitler sent German troops into the Rhineland in 
 violation of the Locarno Pact and the Treaty of Versailles. 
1942 Japanese troops landed on New Guinea. 
1945 During World War II, U.S. forces crossed the Rhine River 
 at Remagen, Germany. 
1951 U.N. forces in Korea under General Matthew Ridgeway launched 
 Operation Ripper against the Chinese. 
1954 Russia appeared for the first time in ice-hockey competition. 
 Russia defeated Canada 7-2 to win the world ice-hockey title in 
 Stockholm, Sweden. 
1959 Melvin C. Garlow became the first pilot to fly over a 
 million miles in jet airplanes. 
1965 State troopers and a sheriff's posse broke up a march by 
 civil rights demonstrators in Selma, AL. 
1968 The Battle of Saigon came to an end. 
1971 A thousand U.S. planes bombed Cambodia and Laos. 
1981 Anti-government guerrillas in Colombia executed the 
 kidnapped American Bible translator Chester Allen Bitterman. 
 The guerrillas accused Bitterman of being a CIA agent. 
1987 Mike Tyson became the youngest heavyweight titleholder 
 when he beat James Smith in a decision during a 12-round 
 fight in Las Vegas, NV. 
1989 Poland accused the Soviet Union of a World War II 
 massacre in Katyn. 
1994 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that parodies that poke 
 fun at an original work can be considered "fair use" that 
 does not require permission from the copyright holder. 
1994 In Moldova, a referendum was rejected by 90% of voters 
 to form a union with Rumania. 
2002 A federal judge awarded Anna Nicole Smith more than 
 $88 million in damages. The ruling was the latest in a legal 
 battle over the estate of Smith's late husband, 
 J. Howard Marshall II. 
2009 NASA's Kepler Mission, a space photometer for searching 
 for extrasolar planets in the Milky Way galaxy, was launched 
 from Cape Canaveral Air Force Station, Florida. 
2015  smiled.

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