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Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, March 10

Thank you Jim, HMCM, USN
Thank you Larry!

Have FUN!

Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
teenage burglars, who thought ashes were dope
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
0241 BC The Roman fleet sank 50 Carthaginian ships in the 
 Battle of Aegusa. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
My definition of a free society is a society where it is safe to be unpopular. Adlai E. Stevenson Jr. (1900 - 1965) ______________________________________________________ Farmer Josh killed a pig and hung it up for the night, intending to butcher it in the morning, but the next day it was gone. He didn't tell a soul about it, and nothing happened for more than two months. Then another farmer, who lived down the road, came by and said, "By the way Josh, did you ever find out who stole your pig?" "Nope," said Josh. "Not until just now." ______________________________________________________ When Nathan Radlich's house was burgled, thieves left his TV, his VCR, and even left his watch. What they did take was "generic white cardboard box filled with greyish-white powder." (That at least is the way the police described it.) A spokesman for the Fort Lauderdale police said "that it looked similar to cocaine and they'd probably thought they'd hit the big time." Then Nathan stood in front of the TV cameras and pleaded with the burglars: "Please return the cremated remains of my sister, Gertrude. She died three years ago." Well, the next morning, the bullet-riddled corpse of a drug dealer known as Hoochie Pevens was found on Nathan's doorstep. The cardboard box was there too; about half of Gertrude's ashes remained. And there was this note. It said: "Hoochie sold us the bogus blow, so we wasted Hoochie. Sorry we snorted your sister. No hard feelings. Have a nice day." ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture The dark layers are rain and run-off from a mountain
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD Devin Gesell 17, St. Peters, Missouri Teen Burglar Devin Gesell Tasted Dead Man's Stolen Ashes, Thought They Were Cocaine He looks like the cops told him about the story of Hoochie. Back in November 2014, a trio of accused teenaged burglars in St. Peters, Missouri, happened upon a wooden box while they were pilfering jewelry, Xbox consoles and prescription medication at a home, The Smoking Gun reports. The two teens who broke into the home looked inside, saw some powder and assuming it was cocaine, nicked the box as well. It turns out that the box contained the cremated remains of the burglary victim's father. As they drove away from the scene, 17-year-old Devin Gesell, who told cops he'd acted as a lookout, tasted the contents of the box to make sure his 15 and 16-year-old accomplices had in fact stolen a box of blow, according to the police report. Gesell determined the powder was not cocaine, and promptly chucked the container out the window of the car. The victim, Deborah Matthews, said she and her family were away visiting relatives in California for Thanksgiving when the break-in occurred. She couldn't believe the teens stole her father's ashes. "I was sick, sick to my stomach," Matthews told KSDK. Cops were able to find Gesell by tracking the IP address of one of the stolen Xboxes. Gesell was charged Friday with multiple felonies. His companions face charges as juveniles and were not identified. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Sam Re: Submitting to Search Engines Dear Webby, I usually submit my sites to about a dozen search engines after every uopdate. Id that a waste of time? Sam Dear Sam Yes, it is. Submitting has been abused too much, and all the serious search engines ignore it. Good, clean HTML and lots of text will get you catalogued well. INcoming links from other sites will notify the search engine robots to crawl your site and catalog them. Meta text on top is also a waste of time. It has been abused way too much and proven a total nuisance. Some search engines actually penalize you, if you have meta stuff on top. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Rosita got lost in her car in a snowstorm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it." Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes. Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got lost in a snowstorm, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Wal-Mart parking lot now, but you can follow me over to K-Mart" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Magazine Cover Bows Did you know that magazine covers can be curled just like curling ribbon? I'm sure you have tons of magazines around. Get cracking with the strips of paper, scissors, and glue sticks. It looks fabulous especially when some are left straight. Directions: By lnygaard [93] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ From today in 2001 ===From My-Lil-Empress Dear Dear Webby I wish I could tell you how grateful I am to you for keeping my husband and coach alive even though he died in an accident four years ago today. While everybody else calls me nicknames like "half-pint" and "evil-runt" and worse, Roy always called me "My-Lil-Empress" and in his eyes I was a real person, not just a half size. The more everybody else put me down, the more Roy always did things to build up my self confidence and make me feel good about myself. Giving me a subscription to the Humor Letter under the name that he used for me, that was one of those things. Even though he is long dead, every morning when the Humor Letter greets me with "Dear My-Lil-Empress !", it's Roy boosting me up, and even though I am only 4' 6", I walk tall ! Thanks Roy, and Thanks Webby! My-Lil-Empress=== Dear My-Lil-Empress It's real people like you who are the reason that I don't mind if the sky turns pink in the east before my previous day's shift is over, as long as the Humor Letter goes out. DearWebby _____________________________________________________ During a friendly argument, Jim asked his wife why she married him in the first place. "I was just stupid," she teased. When he said he was happy to hear that, she was surprised and requested an explanation. "Well, people get divorced all the time because they fall out of love," he said. "But I've never heard of anybody falling out of stupid." ____________________________________________________
Worse Days

Today in 
0241 BC The Roman fleet sank 50 Carthaginian ships in the 
 Battle of Aegusa. 
0049 BC Julius Caesar crossed the Rubicon and invaded Italy. 
1496 Christopher Columbus concluded his second visit to the 
 Western Hemisphere when he left Hispaniola for Spain. 
1629 England's King Charles I dissolved Parliament and did 
 not call it back for 11 years. 
1792 John Stone patented the pile driver. 
1804 The formal ceremonies transferring the Louisiana Purchase 
 from France to the U.S. took place in St. Louis. 
1806 The Dutch in Cape Town, South Africa surrendered to the 
1814 In France, Napoleon Bonaparte was defeated by a combined 
 Allied Army at the battle of Laon. 
1848 The U.S. Senate ratified the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo, 
 which ended the war with Mexico. 
1876 Alexander Graham Bell made the first successful call with 
 the telephone. He spoke the words "Mr. Watson, come here, 
 I want to see you." 
1893 New Mexico State University canceled its first graduation 
 ceremony because the only graduate was robbed and killed the 
 night before. 
1902 The Boers of South Africa scored their last victory over 
 the British, when they captured British General Methuen 
 and 200 men. 
1902 Tochangri, Turkey, was entirely wiped out by an earthquake. 
1903 Harry C. Gammeter patented the multigraph duplicating machine. 
1903 In New York's harbor, the disease-stricken ship Karmania 
 was quarantined with six dead from cholera. 
1906 In France, 1,200 miners were buried in an explosion at 
1909 Britain extracted territorial concessions from 
 Siam and Malaya. 
1910 Slavery was abolished in China. 
1912 China became a republic after the overthrow of the 
 Manchu Ch'ing Dynasty. 
1924 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld a New York state law forbidding 
 late-night work for women. 
1927 Prussia lifted its Nazi ban allowing Adolf Hitler to 
 speak in public. 
1933 Nevada became the first U.S. state to regulate drugs. 
1941 Vichy France threatened to use its navy unless Britain 
 allowed food to reach France. 
1944 The Irish refused to oust all Axis envoys and denied 
 the accusation of spying on Allied troops. 
1945 American B-29 bombers attacked Tokyo, Japan, 100,000 were killed. 
1949 Nazi wartime broadcaster Mildred E. Gillars, also known as 
 "Axis Sally," was convicted in Washington, DC. Gillars was 
 convicted of treason and served 12 years in prison. 
1953 North Korean gunners at Wonsan fired upon the USS Missouri. 
 The ship responded by firing 998 rounds at the enemy position. 
 They almost hit the North Koreans.
1966 The North Vietnamese captured a Green Beret camp at 
 Ashau Valley. 
1966 France withdrew from NATO's military command to protest 
 U.S. dominance of the alliance and asked NATO to move its 
 headquarters from Paris. 
1969 James Earl Ray pled guilty in Memphis, TN, to the 
 assassination of Martin Luther King Jr. Ray later repudiated 
 the guilty plea and maintained his innocence until his death 
 in April of 1998. 
1975 The North Vietnamese Army attacked the South Vietnamese 
 town of Ban Me Thout. 
1980 Iran's leader, Ayatollah Khomeini, lent his support to 
 the militants holding American hostages in Tehran. 
1982 The U.S. banned Libyan oil imports due to their 
 continued support of terrorism. 
1990 Haitian President Prosper Avril was ousted 18 months 
 after seizing power in a coup. 
1991 "Phase Echo" began. It was the operation to withdraw 
 540,000 U.S. troops from the Persian Gulf region. 
1994 White House officials began testifying before a federal 
 grand jury about the Whitewater controversy. 
1998 U.S. troops in the Persian Gulf began receiving the 
 first vaccinations against anthrax. 
2002 The Associated Press reported that the Pentagon informed 
 the U.S. Congress in January that it was making contingency 
 plans for the possible use of nuclear weapons against 
 countries that threaten the U.S. with weapons of mass 
 destruction, including Iraq and North Korea. 
2003 North Korea test-fired a short-range missile. The event 
 was one of several in a pattern of unusual military maneuvers.
2015  smiled.

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