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Good Morning, ,
Today is Wenesday, March 18

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Minnesota man, who stole back Christmas
gift he gave neighbors
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1673 Lord Berkley sold his half of New Jersey to the Quakers 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
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Just because something doesn't do what you planned it to do doesn't mean it's useless. --- Thomas A. Edison (1847 - 1931) ______________________________________________________ It's official: Rap music does cause crime. Research shows that in over half the shootings that occur on our street, the gunman is aiming at the boombox. ______________________________________________________ The tourist was admiring the Native's necklace. "What is it made of?" she asked. "Alligator's teeth," he replied. "I suppose," she said patronizingly, "that they mean as much to you as pearls do to us." "Actually", he replied, "here the alligator hunters get paid more than the oyster cutters at the packing plant." ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture Cameron Falls in Alberta
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Alfred Joseph Guercio, 54, Burnsville, Minnesota Man Stole Christmas Gift He Gave Neighbors A Minnesota man broke into a neighbor’s home to take back a set of knives he gave as a Christmas present because he believed the recipients “did not appreciate” the gift, police allege. According to cops, Alfred Joseph Guercio, 54, last Wednesday night forced his way into a neighboring residence in Burnsville, a city about 15 miles south of Minneapolis. Before bum-rushing the home, Guercio argued at the front door with a female resident “about the knife set,” according to a probable cause statement. Guercio, cops noted, was upset that the woman “did not appreciate the knife set and wanted it back.” After telling Guercio that she would retrieve the knives, the woman tried to close her door. Guercio, however, placed his foot in the door, rebuffing her several attempts to shut it. Guercio then allegedly pushed his way into the house, shoved the woman, and swiped the knife set. During subsequent police questioning, Guercio said that he had given the knives to his neighbors as a gift and “was upset that she was not using the knives in the way they had agreed for her to use them and he wanted them back.” Guercio admitted entering the home after the woman “slammed the door in his face” because he “felt like she wasn’t going to get the knives.” The court filing does not indicate how Guercio thought the knives were to be used. Pictured above, Guercio was charged with felony burglary, which carries a maximum 10-year prison term. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Gary Re: Sending files via FB Dear Webby, I am trying to send some music to a friend, but FB calims it is too big. What do you suggest? Gary Dear Gary Just use Skype. I have never run up against any file size limits with Skype in the 15 years, that I have been using it. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A wife and husband both talked in their sleep.She loved auctions; his hobby was golf. One night, the golfer yelled, "Fore!". His wife yelled back, "Four and a quarter!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Damp Cloth Keeps Cutting Board from Slipping In order to keep the cutting board from sliding around while slicing potatoes, put a slightly damp washcloth under it. Here I am perilously close to a hundred and I didn't know this! Source: My son, Steve showed me this one. By Marty Dick [150] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Tom had won a toy at a raffle. He called his 5 kids together to ask which one should have the present. "Who is the most obedient?" he asked. The children all stared back at him in silence. Then he asked, "Who never talks back to mother?" Again the kids appeared to be mystified by the question. Then Tom asked, "Who does everything she says?" With that question, the kids were finally able to come to a conclusion. The five small voices answered in unison, "Okay, dad, you get the toy." _____________________________________________________ An English professor announced to the class; "There are two words I don't allow in my class. One is "gross" and the other is "cool." From the back of the room a voice called out, "So, what are these gross and cool words? ____________________________________________________
These ice sculptures are magnificent!

Today in 
0037 The Roman Senate annuls Tiberius’ will and proclaims 
 Caligula emperor. 
1190 Crusaders killed 57 Jews in Bury St. Edmonds England. 
1532 The English parliament banned payments by English 
 church to Rome. 
1541 Hernando de Soto observed the first recorded flood 
 of the Mississippi River. 
1673 Lord Berkley sold his half of New Jersey to the Quakers 
1813 David Melville patented the gas streetlight. 
1834 The first railroad tunnel in the U.S. was completed. 
 The work was in Pennsylvania. 
1850 Henry Wells & William Fargo founded American Express. 
1874 Hawaii signed a treaty giving exclusive trading rights 
 with the islands to the U.S. 
1891 Britain became linked to the continent of Europe 
 by telephone. 
1899 Phoebe, a moon of the planet Saturn, was discovered. 
1902 In Turkey, the Sultan granted a German syndicate the 
 first concession to access Baghdad by rail. 
1903 France dissolved the Catholic religious orders. 
1909 Einar Dessau of Denmark used a short wave transmitter 
 to become the first person to broadcast as a "ham" operator. 
1911 Theodore Roosevelt opened the Roosevelt Dam in Arizona.
 It was the largest dam in the U.S. at the time. 
1916 Russia countered the Verdun assault with an attack at 
 Lake Naroch. The Russians lost 100,000 men and the 
 Germans lost 20,000. 
1921 The steamer "Hong Koh" ran aground off of Swatow China. 
 Over 1,000 people were killed. 
1931 Schick Inc. displayed the first electric shaver. 
1938 Mexico took control of all foreign-owned oil properties on its soil. 
1938 New York first required serological blood tests of pregnant women. 
1945 1,250 U.S. bombers attacked Berlin. 
1949 The North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO) was ratified. 
1950 Nationalist troops landed on the mainland of China and capture 
 Communist held Sungmen. 
1952 In Philadelphia, PA, the first plastic lenses were fitted 
 for a cataract patient. 
1954 RKO Pictures was sold for $23,489,478 to Howard Hughes.
1965 Cosmonaut Alexei Leonov became the first man to spacewalk 
 when he left the Voskhod II space capsule while in orbit around 
 the Earth. He was outside the spacecraft for about 20 minutes. 
1966 Scott Paper began selling paper dresses for $1. 
1968 The U.S. Congress repealed the requirement for a gold reserve. 
1969 U.S. President Nixon authorizes Operation Menue. It was the 
 ‘secret’ bombing of Cambodia. 
1971 U.S. helicopters airlifted 1,000 South Vietnamese soldiers 
 out of Laos. 
1974 Most of the Arab oil-producing nations ended their five-month 
 embargo against the United States, Europe and Japan. 
1975 Saigon abandoned most of the Central Highlands of Vietnam to Hanoi. 
1975 The Kurds ended their fight against Iraq. 
1981 The U.S. disclosed that there were biological weapons 
 tested in Texas in 1966. 
1989 A 4,400-year-old mummy was discovered at the Pyramid of 
 Cheops in Egypt. 
1990 The first free elections took place in East Germany. 
1992 Leona Hemsly was sentenced to 4 years in prison for tax evasion. 
1992 White South Africans voted for constitutional reforms 
 that would give legal equality to blacks. 
1994 Zsa Zsa Gabor filed for bankruptcy. 
1997 A Russian AN-24 crashed killing 50 people. 
2015  smiled.


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