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Today is Monday, March 30

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Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
Florida Bank robber arrived drunk in taxi 
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1814 The allied European nations against Napoleon marched 
 into Paris. They did not like his ideas of democracy.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
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With most men, unbelief in one thing springs from blind belief in another. --- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg (1742 - 1799) ______________________________________________________ Did you know that ..... In Seattle, Washington residents may not carry concealed weapons longer than six feet. In Chicago, Illinois, according to state law, it is illegal to speak English. The officially recognized language is "American." ______________________________________________________ Two English ladies were discussing their vacation plans on a London bus near an Irish lady. "We're planning a lovely holiday in Devon this year," said one. "Oh you oughtn't to do that," said the other, "there are Irish there! It would be awful." "Dear me!" said the first lady. "well where are you going?" "Salisbury," she replied. "But Salisbury is simply crawling with Irish!" the first lady objected. At this point the Irish lady could no longer hold her tounge. "Why don't ye go t' hell," she suggested. "There be no Irish there!" ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture Japanese Puffer Fish Circles
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Stanley Geddie 46, Tallahassee, Florida Bank robber arrived drunk in taxi You shouldn't bring a sandwich to a banquet and you probably shouldn't arrive to a bank robbery by taxi -- especially if you're drunk. But that's what Stanley Geddie did Wednesday afternoon, according to police in Tallahassee, Florida. When Geddie, 46, arrived at the Central City Bank, he owed $25.50. He allegedly told the driver, I will take care of you when I come out, according to Tallahassee.com. Geddie then walked into the bank and asked to speak to the manager. When the manager invited him into his office, Geddie allegedly said, "I'm here to rob the bank," WCTV reports. He also told the manager he was a carrying a .357 gun and C-4 plastic explosives and would "blow this place up" if he didn't get $100,000. Witnesses told police that Geddie seemed drunk during his alleged bank-robbery-by-taxi. "His movements let people know something wasn't quite right the way he was acting, probably slurring his speech something like that," said Tallahassee Police spokesman David Northway told the station. Concerned tellers contacted police, who quickly arrived on the scene and met up with the disgruntled cab driver, who explained that Geddie was drunk and had stiffed him on the fare, according to WTSP.com. Officers said Geddie did not follow commands and was shocked with a stun gun before being arrested. A search revealed he had neither a gun nor explosives. After arriving at the bank in a taxi, he left in an ambulance. He was taken to a nearby hospital to be treated for stun gun wounds, according to the New York Daily News. While there, he allegedly told police he was wearing two pairs of pants, figuring if he removed one pair after the robbery, he wouldn't look like the suspect, Tallahassee.com reports. Geddie was charged with robbery, resisting an officer, two probation violations and a petty theft charge for the unpaid taxi fare. He remains in the Leon County jail on $25,000 bond. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Walter Re: Open office page numbering Dear Webby, Thank you, Dear Webby, but why is it so laborious and roundabout as compared to "Word?" Be well, live long, and prosper, Walter Dear Walter Probably to avoid getting sued by Microsoft. Just open a footer with ALT i r ALT i d p Remember those two sequences, or write them onto the masking tape at the bottom of the monitor, or onto the keyboard topper cardboard strip, just like in the days of Word Perfect. For text like Walter's Theory of Conundrums, Page you can just type it into the footer. Hit CTRL R to shift the page number to the right side, then type the text to the left of it. It will be automatically inserted with the numbers on following pages, like this Walter's Theory of Conundrums, Page 456 Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ "I presume, Mrs Murphy, you carry a memento of some sort in that locket of yours?" "Indeed I do, sir, it's a lock of my Dan's hair." "But your husband is still alive." "that he is," said she "but his hair is long gone!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Sunlight as Free Bleach Sunlight will remove tomato sauce type stains from plastics. Just place items in direct sunlight for a few hours around midday. It will bleach white laundry too. By Bruce Byrnes [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Casey and Riley agreed to settle their dispute by a fight, and it was understood that whoever wanted to quit should say "Enough." Casey got Riley down and was hammering him unmercifully when Riley called out several times, "Enough!" As Casey paid no attention, but kept on administering punishment, a bystander said, "Why don't you let him up? Don't you hear him say that he's had enough?" "I do," says Casey, "but he's such a liar, you can't believe him." _____________________________________________________ Two rural church deacons who were having a sociable beer in the local tavern when they saw their minister drive by and take a good long look at their pickup trucks parked outside. One deacon ducked down and said, "I hope the reverend didn't see us or recognize my pickup." The other replied indifferently, "What difference does it make. God knows we're in here... and he's the only one who counts." The first deacon countered, "But God won't tell my wife." ____________________________________________________
These dancers look like they are gliding!

Today in 
1533 Henry VIII divorced his first wife, Catherine of Aragon. 
1814 The allied European nations against Napoleon marched 
 into Paris. They did not like his ideas of democracy.
1822 Florida became a U.S. territory. 
1842 Dr. Crawford W. Long performed the first operation 
 while his patient was anesthetized by ether. 
1855 About 5,000 "Border Ruffians" from western Missouri 
 invaded the territory of Kansas and forced the election of 
 a pro-slavery legislature. It was the first election in Kansas. 
1858 Hyman L. Lipman of Philadelphia patented the pencil. 
1867 The U.S. purchased Alaska from Russia for $7.2 million.
1909 The Queensboro bridge in New York opened linking Manhattan 
 and Queens. It was the first double decker bridge. 
1909 In Oklahoma, Seminole Indians revolted against meager pay 
 for government jobs. 
1916 Pancho Villa killed 172 at the Guerrero garrison in Mexico. 
1936 Britain announced a naval construction program of 38 warships. 
1940 The Japanese set up a puppet government called Manchuko in 
 Nanking, China. 
1941 The German Afrika Korps under General Erwin Rommel began its 
 first offensive against British forces in Libya. 
1944 The U.S. fleet attacked Palau, near the Philippines. 
1945 The U.S.S.R. invaded Austria after World War II. 
1946 The Allies seized 1,000 Nazis attempting to revive 
 the Nazi party in Frankfurt. 
1950 The invention of the phototransistor was announced. 
1950 U.S. President Truman denounced Senator Joe McCarthy as 
 a saboteur of U.S. foreign policy. 
1964 John Glenn withdrew from the Ohio race for U.S. Senate 
 because of injuries suffered in a fall. 
1972 The British government assumed direct rule over 
 Northern Ireland. 
1972 The Eastertide Offensive began when North Vietnamese 
 troops crossed into the Demilitarized Zone (DMZ) in the 
 northern portion of South Vietnam. 
1975 As the North Vietnamese forces moved toward Saigon South 
 Vietnamese soldiers mob rescue jets in desperation. 
1981 U.S. President Ronald Reagan was shot and wounded in 
 Washington, DC, by John W. Hinckley Jr. Two police officers 
 and Press Secretary James Brady were also wounded. 
1987 Vincent Van Gogh's "Sunflowers" was bought for $39.85 million. 
1993 In Sarajevo, two Serb militiamen were sentenced to death for 
 war crimes committed in Bosnia. 
1993 In the Peanuts comic strip, Charlie Brown hit his first 
 home run. 
1994 Serbs and Croats signed a cease-fire to end their war in 
 Croatia while Bosnian Muslims and Serbs continued to fight each other. 
1998 Rolls-Royce was purchased by BMW in a $570 million deal. 
2002 An unmanned U.S. spy plane crashed at sea in the Southern 
2002 Islamic militants set off several grenades at a temple in 
 Indian-controlled Kashmir. Four civilians, four policemen and 
 two attackers were killed and 20 people were injured.
2015  smiled.

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