Some banks DO like FireFox and Chrome 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, April  23,

Today I have to go to Calgary for eye injections. 
That means, no Friday, Saturday or Sunday issues 
will get sent out.

Have FUN!

Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Florida man keeps cottonmouth snake
in pillow case on his bed, and gets bit on his lip.
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1348 The first English order of knighthood was founded. 
 It was the Order of the Garter. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness. --- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900) ______________________________________________________ Mrs. Applebee, the 6th grade teacher, posed the following problem to one of her asthmatic classes: "A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity. Now, what does each get?" After a very long silence in the classroom, Little Morris raised his hand. The teacher called on Little Morris for his answer. With complete sincerity in his voice, Little Morris answered, "A lawyer!" ______________________________________________________ A patient had broken his leg and it was going to have to be set. To get him ready for this painful event, he was heavily sedated. While in this "state", he spoke rather freely with the hospital staff and with his wife. She apparently learned several things about her husband. When it was time to reverse the medication, the wife said "Wait! not yet. I have some more questions I want to ask". ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture
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Reported by Walter, The Stonecarver An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Austin Lane Hatfield, 18, Wimauma Florida
Florida Man Bitten By Cottonmouth Snake That He Was Keeping In Pillowcase On His Bed An 18-year-old Wimauma man who was bitten on the lip by a cottonmouth he was keeping in a pillowcase on his bed is recovering at Tampa General Hospital, officials said. The snake, also known as a water moccasin, escaped around 11:45 p.m. Saturday and slithered across the stomach of Austin Lane Hatfield, said Gary Morse, spokesman for the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission. When Hatfield tried to recapture it, the snake bit him, Morse said. A bite from a cottonmouth can be deadly with its venom causing massive swelling. Hatfield was rushed to the emergency room. “His condition has improved today and he is expected to recover,” Morse said. Hatfield had captured the snake sometime last week and was illegally possessing it, Morse said. Because cottonmouths are venomous, a state permit is required to keep them. FWC is investigating and Hatfield could face charges, Morse said. The snake was captured and euthanized so a proper identification could be made, he said. A spokeswoman for The cottonmouth, a member of the viper family, gets its name from the cotton-white interior of its mouth. When threatened, the snake often coils and opens its mouth. They are the only venomous water snakes in Florida and are usually found in swamp-like habitats. Adult snakes are dark in color and can grow to between 2 and 4 feet. They have broad, triangular heads and a dark stripe that runs through their eyes. There is a deep pit between their eyes and nostrils. Those who come across the snakes should give them a wide berth, Morse said. “It really doesn’t want to eat you but it will protect itself,” Morse said. “Cottonmouths have a reputation of being somewhat skittish when you get near them and they will readily defend themselves.”
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Roland Re: Some Banks DO cope with FireFox Dear Webby, We use Fire Fox and check our two banks daily with no problems. Roland and Ruth Ann Dear Roland Yes, seems to work just fine with the better banks. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ "Doctor!" said the woman as she loudly bounced into the room, "I want you to tell me very frankly what's wrong with me." He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you." "First, you need to lose at least twenty pounds in your lower half. Second, you should use only about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick as you did this morning. And third, I'm an artist - the doctor's office is on the next floor." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Luffa Sponge for Soap Stand I cut a slice from my new luffa sponge to use under my soaps to keep them dry and firm in my soap dishes. I just used a sharp bread knife on a dry luffa sponge. Easy! By Donna [222] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Two redneck guys go on a fishing trip. They spend a fortune renting all the equipment: the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. The first day they go fishing,but don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day and the third . This goes on until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish. While driving home one guy turns to the other ... "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us nearly $1500?" The other guy says, "Wow! It's a good thing we didn't catch any more!" _____________________________________________________ A drunken man gets on the bus late one night, staggers up the aisle, and sits next to an elderly woman. She looks the man up and down and says, "I've got news for you. You're going straight to hell!" The man jumps up out of his seat and shouts, "Heyyy!Stop! I'm on the wrong bus! I don't wanna go where SHE goes!" ____________________________________________________
Wow! All I can say is Wow! He must be a horse whisperer

Today in 
1348 The first English order of knighthood was founded. 
 It was the Order of the Garter. 
1500 Pedro Cabal claimed Brazil for Portugal. 
1521 The Comuneros were crushed by royalist troops in Spain. 
1759 The British seized Basse-Terre and Guadeloupe in the 
 Antilies from France. 
1826 Missolonghi fell to Egyptian forces. 
1861 Arkansas troops seized Fort Smith. 
1895 Russia, France, and Germany forced Japan to return the 
 Liaodong peninsula to China. 
1896 The Vitascope system for projecting movies onto a 
 screen was demonstrated in New York City. 
1900 The word "hillbilly" was first used in print in an 
 article in the "New York Journal." It was spelled "Hill-Billie". 
1945 The Soviet Army went into Berlin. 
1950 Chaing evacuated Hainan, leaving mainland China to 
 Mao and the communists. 
1951 The Associated Press began use of the new service of 
 teletype setting. 
1967 The Soyuz 1 was launched by Russia. 
1971 The Soyuz 10 was launched. 
1981 The Soviet Union conducted an underground nuclear test 
 at their Semipaltinsk (Kazakhstan) test site. 
1985 The Coca-Cola Company announced that it was changing its 
 99-year-old secret formula. New Coke was not successful, 
 which resulted in the resumption of selling the original version. 
1988 A U.S. federal law took effect that banned smoking on 
 flights that were under two hours. 
1988 In Martinez, CA, a drain valve was left open at the 
 Shell Marsh. More than 10,000 barrels of oil poured into 
 the marsh adjoining Peyton Slough. 
1988 Kanellos Kanelopoulos set three world records for 
 human-powered flight when he stayed in the air for 74 miles 
 and four hours in his pedal-powered "Daedalus". 
1996 An auction of the late Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis' 
 possessions began at Sotheby's in New York City. 
 The sale brought in $34.5 million. 
1997 An infertility doctor in California announced that a 
 63-year-old woman had given birth in late 1996. The child 
 was from a donor egg. The woman is the oldest known woman 
 to give birth. 
2004 U.S. President George W. Bush eased sanctions against 
 Libya in return for Moammar Gadhafi's agreement to give up 
 weapons of mass destruction. Gadhafi donated the chemical 
 weapons he had bought from the US to the US and invited US
 military to come in and destroy the rest of them.
2005 The first video was uploaded to 
2009 The iTunes Music Store reached 1 billion applications 
2015  smiled.

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