Dry cleaning the monitor 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, May 2

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Florida Couple Stuffed $300 
Worth Of Meat In Woman's Pants
Details at Boneheads

Today in
1670 The Hudson Bay Company was founded by England's 
 King Charles II. Hudson's Bay Company is still going
 strong. The Hudson's Bay Company (HBC), chartered 
 2 May 1670, is the oldest incorporated joint-stock 
 merchandising company in the English-speaking world. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
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If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Basic research is what I am doing when I don't know what I am doing. --- Wernher von Braun (1912 - 1977) ______________________________________________________ >From Barb A friend of mine just came back from visiting a CVS in Baltimore. He said all that was left was suntan lotion and Fathers Day cards. ______________________________________________________ Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. Finally she couldn't take it any longer, and told him, "Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of prunes at the grocery store!" "I doubt that!" he said. Not sure if this was true or not, Tom decided to call the grocery store. A clerk answers and Tom says, "Can I please talk to the Vice President of prunes?" The clerk replies, "Sure, Canned or Dried?" ______________________________________________________ From Dad Click through for the big picture SmugglersNotchStateParkVermont-.jpg Smugglers Notch State Park, Vermont
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Reported by Walter, The Stonecarver An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Doris Rowe 48, Kenneth Edwards 54, Deland, Floriduh
Florida Couple Stuffed $300 Worth Of Meat In Woman's Pants A man and woman have been arrested in central Florida after police say they stole more than $300 worth of meat from a grocery store. Deputies told The Daytona Beach News-Journal 48-year-old Doris Rowe and 54-year-old Kenneth Edwards drove 26 miles to a Winn-Dixie store in DeLand where a store manager saw Rowe stuffing meat products and other items into her pants. Deputies say the manager stopped Rowe and she hit the manager in the neck, dropping pork ribs, two packs of detergent and three water filters. Rowe fled the store and got into Edwards' truck. Deputies apprehended them at a traffic stop. Both were charged with grand theft and robbery. Deputies found ribeye steaks, ground beef, bacon, pork ribs and a gallon of bleach in the car valued at $361.00.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Rose Re: Dry cleaning monitor Dear Webby, I got a new monitor and with it came a cloth and instructions to clean it dry, without liquid. What's up with that? Rose Dear Rose They want to sell you another monitor soon. Normal window cleaner does not hurt the monitor. Just don't use any weird stuff like ammonia. Whatever works well on your glasses and camera, will also work well on your monitor. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A young woman, a military dependant, came into the dental clinic with a problem tooth. She had several children and appeared to be quite ready to give birth to another one at almost any moment. It was necessary to use X-rays to locate the source of her problem, so she was conducted to the dental unit with an X-ray machine, and her husband followed. The X-ray technician was lining up the cone of the machine preparatory to making the first exposure, when he noticed that the young woman's husband was standing beyond her, but in a position where he would receive some radiation after it passed through her teeth. Being well trained, the technician stopped and asked the fellow to move to a safer position. "Sir, please step over there. Too much of this radiation will make you sterile." A broad smile appeared on the young woman's face, he eyes grew wide with excitement, and she clapped her hands while saying, "Joe, come here, hold my hand!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Making Hard Boiled Eggs First, put eggs in a pan and fill with enough cold water to cover eggs completely, then bring water to a rapid boil. As soon as the water reaches a rapid boil, remove pan from heat and cover pan tightly with a lid. The length of time it takes to hard boil an egg depends on the size and type of the egg. Let sit 12 minutes for regular-sized eggs, 17 minutes for large eggs and 20 minutes for jumbo eggs. Transfer eggs immediately to cold water (I add ice cubes to water) and let cool at least 10 minutes. This causes a layer of steam to develop between the shell and the egg white, which makes peeling the egg much easier. Store in the refrigerator. By mcw [78] Or save electricity with an egg boiler: 6 minutes @375 Watts for hard boiled, instead of 12 minutes @1500 Watt. Tip them into cold water when it beeps. Do the next half dozen while you peel the first batch. You can also set them for 3 minutes for fancy "breakfast eggs" with the yolk thick but still runny. You will need the fancy egg holders from the Dollar Store, but it's a nice treat now and then. Set the egg(s) into the egg holder, crack and peel the top, cut the top quarter off with a spoon, add a tiny pinch of salt and pepper into the liquid yolk, and spoon it out with a small spoon. Delicious! With a $15 egg boiler they will come out precisely the same every time. No more guess-work, plus you save a dollar on the electricity every time you use it. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ One evening a preschooler, Krystal, and her parents were sitting on the couch chatting. Krystal asked, " Daddy, are you the boss of the house?" Her father proudly replied, "Yes, I am the boss of the house." But Krystal quickly burst his bubble when she added, "Did Mommy tell you that you can play boss tonight, Daddy?" _____________________________________________________ Two mothers are talking about a friend who has just given birth to triplets. "You know, that only happens one in 12,000 times," says one. "Amazing," says the other. "How did she ever find time to do any housework?" ____________________________________________________
So apparently there’s a fox sanctuary in Japan.

Today in 
1670 The Hudson Bay Company was founded by England's 
 King Charles II. 
1776 France and Spain agreed to donate arms to American 
 rebels fighting the British. 
1797 A mutiny in the British navy spread from Spithead 
 to the rest of the fleet. 
1798 The black General Toussaint L’ouverture forced 
 British troops to agree to evacuate the port of 
 Santo Domingo. 
1808 The citizens of Madrid rose up against Napoleon. 
1813 Napoleon defeated a Russian and Prussian army 
 at Grossgorschen. 
1885 The Congo Free State was established by King 
 Leopold II of Belgium. 
1885 The magazine "Good Housekeeping" was first published. 
1887 Hannibal W. Goodwin applied for a patent on celluloid 
 photographic film. This is the film from which movies are shown. 
1902 "A Trip to the Moon," the first science fiction film 
 was released. It was created by magician George Melies. 
1926 In India, Hindu women gained the right to seek 
 elected office. 
1926 U.S. Marines landed in Nicaragua to put down a revolt 
 and to protect U.S. interests. They did not depart until 1933. 
1933 Hitler banned trade unions in Germany. 
1941 Hostilities broke out between British forces in Iraq 
 and that country’s pro-German faction. 
1945 Russians took Berlin after 12 days of fierce house-to-house 
 fighting. The Allies announced the surrender of Nazi troops 
 in Italy and parts of Austria. 
1946 Prisoners revolted at California's Alcatraz prison. 
1960 Caryl Chessman was executed. He was a convicted sex 
 offender and had become a best selling author while on 
 death row. 
1965 The "Early Bird" satellite was used to transmit 
 television pictures across the Atlantic. 
1970 Student anti-war protesters at Ohio's Kent State 
 University burn down the campus ROTC building. The National 
 Guard took control of the campus. 
1982 The British submarine HMS Conqueror sank Argentina's 
 only cruiser, the General Belgrano during the Falkland 
 Islands War. More than 350 people died. 
1994 Nelson Mandela claimed victory after South Africa's 
 first democratic elections. 
2015  smiled.


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