What kind of mouse for Copy/Paste? 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, May 5

Thank You, Rose!

Have FUN!

Today's Bonehead Award goes to an 
College student caught on 
surveillance camera poisoning 
roommates' food
Details at Boneheads

Today in
1494 Christopher Columbus sighted Jamaica on his second trip.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster. --- Quentin Crisp ______________________________________________________ I accompanied my husband when he went to get a haircut. Reading a magazine, I found a hairstyle I liked for myself, and I asked the receptionist if I could take the magazine next door to make a copy of the photo. "Leave some ID, a driver's license or a credit card," she said. "But my husband is here getting a haircut," I explained. "Yes," she replied. "But I need something you'll come back for." ______________________________________________________ After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the long lines, surly clerks and insane regulations at the department of motor vehicles, a lady stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift for her son. She brought her selection - a baseball bat to the cash register. "Cash or charge," the clerk asked. "Cash," she snapped. Then apologizing for her rudeness, she explained, " I've spent the afternoon at the motor-vehicle bureau. I am not too sane right now!!" "Shall I gift -wrap the bat?" the clerk asked sweetly, "Or are you going back?" ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture Argentinian finch
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Reported by Walter, The Stonecarver An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Hayley King, 22, Columbia, South Carolina
College student caught on surveillance camera poisoning roommates' food A University of South Carolina student faces charges after she was caught on camera spitting and putting window cleaner in her roommates' food. In the video, 22-year-old Hayley King can be seen taking out containers of food from the refrigerator shared with two other women in an off-campus house. King can then be seen allegedly spraying Windex on the food and pouring glass cleaner into the containers, according WIS-TV. One of the roommates said that she ate out of a container that had been diluted with spit and Windex, according to The State. King and her roommates were having multiple altercations leading up to the incident, according to the police report. King's other roommates had been trying to get her to move out because of the fight, but King had refused to leave. The other roommates said they installed the surveillance cameras out of concern over what King may have been doing at the house in their absence. A police investigator contacted King after viewing the video, where the student "confessed to the incident," according to the police report. "The aftermath...caused me to fall behind in my classes," one of King's roommates told WIS-TV. "I was forced to switch out of one of my courses because I was so distracted with everything going on. This not only affected me physically, having to deal with the repercussions of the incident, but also mentally from the anxiety that came along with it." King has been charged with unlawful, malicious tampering with human drug product or food -- a Class C Felony -- and could face up to 20 years in prison if convicted, according to WIS-TV. King was released a day after her arrest after posting a $5,000 bond.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Tammy Re: Copying with the mouse Dear Webby, You have mentioned occasionally that you copy and paste with your mouse. What kind of mouse will I need to be able to do that? Thanks Tammy Dear Tammy Any mouse with five or more buttons will do that. Cheapest one seems to be Gigabit at NewEgg. Highest quality is probably the one from Logitech. Naturally, that one is more expensive. So is the one from Microsoft. Unless the 7 button Gigabit is not working well for you, it is a very good mouse. Interesting is the ability to change resolution on the fly. That is handy for working on large graphics, and probably also for any flight simulator or space war games. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Anthony and Kathy married. Anthony thought this would be a modern marriage which meant equal roles for equal partners. So, the first morning back from their honeymoon, Anthony brought Kathy breakfast in bed. Kathy wasn't impressed with his culinary skills, however. She looked disdainfully at the tray, and snorted, "A poached egg? I wanted scrambled!" Undaunted, the next morning, Anthony brought her a scrambled egg. Kathy wasn't having any of it. "Why can't I have some variety? I wanted poached this morning!" Determined to please Kathy, the next morning he brought her two eggs - one scrambled and one poached. "Here, my love... enjoy!" Kathy was furious, "You Bozo, you scrambled the wrong egg!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Extend the Shelf Life of Bananas When you get home from grocery shopping, separate all the bananas from the bunch and place in a bowl or basket. By doing this, it will slow down the ripening process. By mcw ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Tom was being evaluated for mental problems and was asked by the doctor, "If a train was coming down the hallway toward you, what would you do?" Tom replied, "I would get in my helicopter and fly away!" The doctor then asked, "Where did you get a helicopter from?" Tom replied, "The same place you got your silly train!" _____________________________________________________ Two men were talking one day. "My wife asked me to buy ORGANIC vegetables from the garden market," said the first man. "So were you able to find some?" the second man, asked. "Well when I got to the market, I asked the produce clerk, 'These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?' "The produce clerk said 'No, she'll have to do that herself.' " ____________________________________________________
How did ancient man build this elaborate 18 level underground city that could house 20,000 people?

Today in 
1494 Christopher Columbus sighted Jamaica on his second trip.
1798 U.S. Secretary of War William McHenry ordered that the 
 USS Constitution be made ready for sea. The frigate was 
 launched on October 21, 1797, but had never been put to sea. 
1809 Mary Kies was awarded the first patent to go to a woman. 
 It was for technique for weaving straw with silk and thread. 
1814 The British attacked the American forces at Ft. Ontario, 
 Oswego, NY. 
1834 The first mainland railway line opened in Belgium. 
1862 The Battle of Puebla took place. It is celebrated as 
 Cinco de Mayo Day. 
1865 The Thirteenth Amendment was ratified, abolishing slavery 
 in the U.S. 
1891 Music Hall was dedicated in New York City. It was later 
 renamed Carnegie Hall. 
1892 The U.S. Congress extended the Geary Chinese Exclusion Act 
 for 10 more years. The act required Chinese in the U.S. to be 
 registered or face deportation. 
1901 The first Catholic mass for night workers was held at the 
 Church of St. Andrew in New York City. 
1916 U.S. Marines invaded the Dominican Republic. 
1917 Eugene Jacques Bullard becomes the first African-American 
 aviator when he earned his flying certificate with the French 
 Air Service. 
1925 John T. Scopes, a biology teacher in Dayton, TN, was 
 arrested for teaching Darwin's theory of evolution. 
1926 Eisenstein's film "Battleship Potemkin" was shown in 
 Germany for the first time. 
1926 Sinclair Lewis refused a 1925 Pulitzer for "Arrowsmith." 
1936 Edward Ravenscroft received a patent for the screw-on 
 bottle cap with a pour lip. 
1945 The Netherlands and Denmark were liberated from Nazi 
1945 A Japanese balloon bomb exploded on Gearhart Mountain 
 in Oregon. A pregnant woman and five children were killed. 
1955 The Federal Republic of Germany (West Germany) became 
 a sovereign state. 
1956 Jim Bailey became the first runner to break the four-minute 
 mile in the U.S. He was clocked at 3:58.5. 
1961 Alan Shepard became the first American in space when he 
 made a 15 minute suborbital flight. 
2015  smiled.

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