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Today is Thursday, May 7

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DearWebby


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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a 
Florida Man Chokes Physician's 
Assistant With Stethoscope
Details at Boneheads

Today in
1429 The English siege of Orleans was broken by Joan of Arc. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
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Don't knock the weather. If it didn't change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation. --- Kin Hubbard (1868 - 1930) ______________________________________________________ Two nuns were driving down a country road when they ran out of gas. They walked to a farmhouse and a farmer gave them some gasoline; but the only container he had was an old bedpan. The nuns were happy to take whatever they were offered and returned to their car. As they were pouring the gasoline from the bedpan into the tank of their car, a minister drove by. He stopped, rolled down his window and said, "Excuse me, sisters. I'm not of your religion, but I couldn't help admiring your faith....!" ______________________________________________________ A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money. The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn't been paid. The collections manager left a voice-mail for them saying, "We can't ship your new order until you pay for the last one." The next day the collections manager received a collect phone call, "Please cancel the order. We can't wait that long." ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture Croatia
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by John Connelly, 52, Englewood, Florida
Florida Man Chokes Physician's Assistant With Stethoscope A man in Englewood, Florida, is facing assault charges after allegedly choking a physician's assistant with a stethoscope. Officials said John Connelly, 52, entered the Sarasota Family Medical Walk-In Clinic yesterday in hopes of upgrading a prescription for pain medication, according to TBO.com. A doctor reportedly wasn't available and the on-duty physician's assistant couldn't alter the prescription. At that point, the suspect allegedly started yelling profanities and was asked to leave, MySuncoast.com reports. Connelly did leave, but came back a short time later to find the physician's assistant. Then he allegedly grabbed the assistant's stethoscope and used it to choke the man, ABC Action News reports. A witness managed to pull Connelly off the P.A., who suffered bruising and marks on his neck, Sarasota Patch reports. Connelly was arrested and charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon. He is currently being held without bond, according to MyFoxTampaBay.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Re: No question Dear Webby, No Question Dear No answer Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Late one afternoon, the Air Force guys out at Area 51 are surprised to see a Cessna landing at their "secret" base. They immediately impound the aircraft and haul the pilot into an interrogation room. The pilot's story is that he took off out of Las Vegas, got lost and found the base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air Force starts a full security check on the guy and hold him overnight. The next day they are finally convinced that the guy really was lost and is not a spy. They gas up his airplane, give him a terrifying "you did not see a base" briefing complete with threats of spending the rest of his life in prison. They say Vegas is that-a-way on this heading and send him off. The next day, here comes the Cessna again. Once again the MPs surround the plane, only this time there are two people in the plane. The same pilot jumps out and says: "Do anything you want to me, but my wife is in the plane and SHE DEMANDS to know where I was last night." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Vinegar to Clean Shower Head Get a baggy and fill with vinegar. Tie it around the shower head, leave on overnight. Wipe grime off in morning. It works well. By coville123 [324] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Fidel dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, St. Peter tells him that he is not on the list and that no way, no how, does he belong in heaven. Fidel must go to hell. So Fidel goes to hell where Satan gives him a hearty welcome and tells him to make himself at home. Then Fidel notices that he left his luggage in heaven and tells Satan, who says, "No hay problema, I'll send a couple of little devils to get your stuff." When the little devils get to heaven they find the gates are locked - St.Peter is having lunch - and they start debating what to do. Finally, one comes up with the idea that they should go over the wall and get the luggage. As they are climbing the wall, two little angels see them, and one angel says to the other, "My goodness! Fidel has been in hell no more than ten minutes and we're already getting refugees!" _____________________________________________________ It was a celebratory mood with the boys at NASA; they had just made the scientific achievement of a lifetime. As they were uncorking a bottle of champagne, Dr. Braun, the head scientist at NASA, asked everyone to be quiet as he had received a congratulatory phone call from the President of the United States. He picked up a special red phone, and spoke into it. "Mr. President," said Dr. Braun, grinning broadly, "after twelve years of hard research and billions of dollars spent, we have finally found intelligent life on Mars." He listened for a second, and his smile gradually disappeared, replaced by a frown. He said, "But that's impossible . . . we could never do it. . . yes Mr. President," and hung up the phone. He addressed the crowd of scientists staring at him curiously. "I have some bad news," he said, "the President said that now that we've found intelligent life on Mars . . . he wants us to try to find some in Congress." ____________________________________________________
I love old photos but did not know there were color photos of this quality in the early 1900's. I love to see the style of clothes of over 100 years ago from any where in this big old world.

Today in 
0558 The dome of the church of St. Sophia in Constantinople 
 collapsed. It was immediately rebuilt as ordered by Justinian. 
1274 The Second Council of Lyons opened in France to regulate 
 the election of the pope. 
1429 The English siege of Orleans was broken by Joan of Arc. 
1525 The German peasants' revolt was crushed by the ruling 
 class and church. 
1663 The first Theatre Royal was opened in London. 
1763 Indian chief Pontiac began all out war on the British 
 in New York. 
1800 The U.S. Congress divided the Northwest Territory into 
 two parts. The western part became the Indiana Territory and 
 the eastern section remained the Northwest Territory. 
1898 The first Intercollegiate Trapshooting Association meet 
 was held in New Haven, CT. 
1912 The first airplane equipped with a machine gun flew over 
 College Park, MD. 
1915 The Lusitania, a civilian ship carrying poison gas,
 was sunk by a German  submarine. 1,201 people were killed. 
1926 A U.S. report showed that one-third of the nation's 
 exports were motors. 
1937 The German Condor Legion arrived in Spain to assist 
 Franco’s forces. 
1939 Germany and Italy announced a military and political 
 alliance known as the Rome-Berlin Axis. 
1940 Winston Churchill became British Prime Minister. 
1942 In the Battle of the Coral Sea, Japanese and American 
 navies attacked each other with carrier planes. It was the 
 first time in the history of naval warfare where two enemy 
 fleets fought without seeing each other. 
1943 The last major German strongholds in North Africa, 
 Tunis and Bizerte, fell to Allied forces. 
1945 Baseball owner Branch Rickey announced the organization 
 of the United States Negro Baseball League. There were 6 teams. 
1945 Germany signed unconditional surrender ending World War II. 
 It would take effect the next day. 
1946 Tokyo Telecommunications Engineering Corp. was founded. 
 The company was later renamed Sony. 
1951 Russia was admitted to participate in the 1952 Olympic 
 Games by the International Olympic Committee. 
1954 French Colonial Forces surrendered to the Vietminh at 
 Dien Bien Phu after 55 days of fighting. 
1954 The United States and the United Kingdom rejected the 
 Soviet Union's bid to join NATO. 
1958 Howard Johnson set an aircraft altitude record in F-104. 
1960 Leonid Brezhnev became president of the Soviet Union. 
1975 U.S. President Ford declared an end to the Vietnam War. 
1977 Rookie Janet Guthrie set the fastest time on opening day 
 of practice for the Indianapolis 500. Her time was 185.607. 
1984 A $180 million out-of-court settlement was announced in 
 the Agent Orange class-action suit brought by Vietnam veterans 
 who claimed they had suffered injury from exposure to the 
 defoliant while serving in the armed forces. 
1987 Shelly Long, as Diane Chambers, made her last appearance 
 as a regular on the TV show "Cheers." 
1992 A 203-year-old proposed constitutional amendment barring 
 the U.S. Congress from giving itself a midterm pay raise was 
 ratified as the 27th Amendment. 
1994 The Edvard Munch painting "The Scream" was recovered 
 after being stolen 3 months earlier from an Oslo Museum. 
 This version of "The Scream", one of four different versions, 
 was painted on paper. 
1996 The trial of Serbian police officer Dusan Tadic opened 
 in the Netherlands. He was later convicted on murder-torture 
 charges and was sentenced to 20 years in prison. 
1997 A report released by the U.S. government said that 
 Switzerland provided Nazi Germany with equipment and credit 
 during World War II. Germany exchanged for gold what had been 
 plundered or stolen. Switzerland did not comply with postwar 
 agreements to return the gold. 
1998 Daimler-Benz bought Chrysler Corp. for close to $40 
 billion. It was the largest industrial merger on record. 
1999 A jury ruled that "The Jenny Jones Show" and Warner Bros. 
 were liable in the shooting death of Scott Amedure. He was 
 killed by another guest on the show. The jury's award was $25 million. 
1999 In Belgrade, Yugoslavia, three Chinese citizens were killed 
 and 20 were wounded when a NATO plane mistakenly bombed the Chinese 
 embassy. 
2003 In Washington, DC, General Motors Corp. delivered six fuel cell 
 vehicles to Capitol Hill for lawmakers and others to test drive 
 during the next two years. 
2015  smiled.


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