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Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, May 8
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

Have FUN!

Today's Bonehead Award goes to a 
Drunken Indiana Man Driving 
Lawn Mower Had Whopping Blood 
Alcohol Content
Details at Boneheads

Today in
1096 Peter the Hermit and his army reached Hungary. They 
 passed through without incident. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
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Don't knock the weather. If it didn't change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation. --- Kin Hubbard (1868 - 1930) ______________________________________________________ >From Roland When I was young I decided I wanted to be a doctor so I took the entrance exam to go to Medical School. One of the questions they asked us to rearrange the letters PNEIS into the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect. Those who answered SPINE are doctors today. The rest of us are sending jokes via email. ______________________________________________________ The company I worked for had an employee-suggestion competition, the entire staff was to submit entries that would save money for the firm. The winner was a man in my department who suggested we post corporate memos on bulletin boards, instead of printing 200 individual copies for distribution. He got a helium balloon with the company logo and one share of stock. A memo announcing the prize was printed and mailed out to 200 people who walked past the bulletin board every day. ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Trevor Bates, 27, Evansville Indiana
Drunken Indiana Man Driving Lawn Mower Had Whopping Blood Alcohol Content In what appears to be a record for drunken lawn mower joyriding, an Indiana manís blood alcohol content was nearly six times the legal limit, according to cops who received reports that the suspect was driving in traffic with his daughter on his lap. Trevor Bates, 27, was cited Saturday after witnesses called 911 to report that an intoxicated man was driving a lawn mower erratically on an Evansville street. Police report that Bates had a .445 blood alcohol content (the legal limit is .08). Bates was not arrested at the scene since he was not atop the lawnmower when officers arrived. Instead, Bates was given a summons for public intoxication. Court records show that Batesís rap sheet includes two drunk driving arrests, two public intoxication busts, and collars for battery and resisting arrest. He is pictured above in a mug shot taken following an arrest last year.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Chris Re: Text editor Dear Webby, You mentioned once a text editor, that you really liked. Unfortunqately, I did not need one at that time, and did not mark it dow. Do you still use that one? Chris Dear Chris Yes, sure I am still using it, since 1997 to be exact. It is called NoteTab and you get it from htttp:// NoteTab has tabs, like they have become fashionable with browsers. You can copy back and forth between different documents, convert from HTML to Txt and back, click on links, and hundreds of different other tricks. I would feel severely handicapped, if I could not use it. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Roland for this one: An elderly couple was watching television one evening. "I am going to get a dish of ice cream now," the wife said. Kindly, the husband offered to get the ice cream for his wife. "I'll write it down so you don't forget," she said. "I won't forget," the old gent said. "But, I want chocolate syrup and nuts on it. So, I'll write it down," she replied. "I will get you the ice cream. Don't you worry," replied the husband. A few minutes later, the old man returned with bacon and eggs. His wife said, "See, I should have written it down because you forgot the toast." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Crystal Clear Roof Rain Gutters Crystal Clear Roof Rain GuttersMy traditional metal gutters worked more like car washes; clogging, overflowing and rotting the fascia boards. I took them off but then had too much water hitting the porch over front door. By MITCH ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A reporter from New York was visiting an old colleague who now edited a newspaper in a tiny Vermont town. "I don't see how you do it," the NY reporter said. "How can you drum up interest in the news when everybody in town knows what everybody else is doing and with whom?" "Sure they know," the editor said, "but they read the paper to see who got caught at it." _____________________________________________________ Bubba was arrested for selling home-stilled whiskey. His lawyer put him on the stand and asked the jurors to look carefully at his client. "Now, Ladies and Gentleman of the jury," concluded the lawyer, "you've looked carefully at the defendant. "Can you sit there in the jury and honestly believe that if my client had ANY whiskey he would sell it?" He was acquitted. ____________________________________________________
Mother The photographer spent many hours in making this video and must have a fantastic zoom and how about the slo-mos!!

Today in 
1096 Peter the Hermit and his army reached Hungary. They 
 passed through without incident. 
1450 Jack Cade's Rebellion-Kentishmen revolted against King 
 Henry VI. 
1541 Hernando de Soto reached the Mississippi River. He called 
 it Rio de Espiritu Santo. 
1794 Antoine Lavoisier was executed by guillotine. He was the 
 French chemist who discovered oxygen. 
1846 The first major battle of the Mexican War was fought. The 
 battle occurred in Palo Alto, TX. 
1847 The rubber tire was patented by Robert W. Thompson. 
1879 George Selden applied for the first automobile patent. 
1886 Pharmacist Dr. John Styth Pemberton invented what 
 would later be called "Coca-Cola." 
1904 U.S. Marines landed in Tangier to protect the Belgians. 
1914 The U.S. Congress passed a Joint Resolution that designated 
 the second Sunday in May as Mother's Day. 
1919 The first transatlantic flight took-off by a navy 
1921 Sweden abolished capital punishment. 
1933 Gandhi began a hunger strike to protest British 
 oppression in India. 
1943 The Germans suppressed a revolt by Polish Jews and 
 destroyed the Warsaw Ghetto. 
1945 U.S. President Harry Truman announced that World War II 
 had ended in Europe. 
1956 Alfred E. Neuman appeared on the cover of "Mad Magazine" 
 for the first time. 
1958 U.S. President Eisenhower ordered the National Guard out of 
Little Rock as Ernest Green became the first black to graduate 
 from an Arkansas public school. 
1959 Mike and Marian Ilitch founded "Little Caesars Pizza Treat". 
1960 Diplomatic relations between Cuba and the Soviet Union 
1970 Construction workers broke up an anti-war protest on New York 
 City's Wall Street. 
1973 Militant American Indians who had held the South Dakota hamlet of 
 Wounded Knee for 10 weeks surrendered. 
1984 The Soviet Union announced that they would not participate 
 in the 1984 Summer Olympics Games in Los Angeles. 
1985 "New Coke" was released to the public on the 99th anniversary 
 of Coca-Cola. It was a dud.
1986 Reporters were told that 84,000 people had been evacuated from 
 areas near the Chernobyl nuclear plant in Soviet Ukraine. 
1998 A pipe burst leaving a million residents without water in 
 Malaysia's capital area. This added to four days of shortages 
 that 2 million already faced. 
1999 The first female cadet graduated from The Citadel military college. 
2015  smiled.

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