Chrome jumps to full screen 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, May 10
Happy Mother's Day!

Have FUN!

Today's Bonehead Award goes to a 
Convicted felon nabbed for loaded firearm on back seat
Details at Boneheads

Today in
1773 The English Parliament passed the Tea Act, which taxed 
 all tea in the U.S. colonies and severely annoyed them. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
All charming people have something to conceal, usually their total dependence on the appreciation of others. --- Cyril Connolly (1903 - 1974) ______________________________________________________ A guy was visiting his friend in the hospital who was 'all torn up'. "What happened?" he asked. "Well," explained the patient, "we were hunting the Mumba snake. It has yellow and black stripes. It likes to sun itself lying across a pathway in the jungle. You catch it by grabbing the tip of its tail with one hand and quickly running your other hand up the length of its body so you can grab it behind the neck." "Go on," the friend said. He continued, "Well, at mid day the shadows and the lit parts of the jungle sometimes make it difficult to see every detail, so when I sneaked up to the snake lying across the jungle path, I pounced on it in a flying leap, grabbed it by the end and rapidly moved my other hand upward ... just as the procedure goes." "So why are you so beaten up?" the friend asked. The patient said slowly, "Did you ever goose a *tiger*??" ______________________________________________________ Five tourists travelling across Europe in an Audi Quattro arrive at a french border crossing. The Customs agent stops them and says, "It's illegal to put five people in a Quattro." "What do you mean it's illegal?" asks one of the tourists. "Quattro means four," replies the border official. "Quattro is just the name of the automobile," the tourist retorts disbelievingly. "Look at the papers: this car is designed to carry five persons." "You can't pull that one on me," replies the Customs agent. "Quattro means four. You have five people in your car and you are therefore breaking the law." The tourist replies angrily, "You Goof! Call your supervisor over-I want to speak to someone with some intelligence!" "Sorry," responds the official, "he can't come. He's busy with two guys in a Fiat Uno." ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture Sailboats in Panama City, Florida at sunset. Taken on a Samsung Galaxy 5 by Luke Swims
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Andrea Vanderstek, 35, Flippin, Arkansas
Convicted felon nabbed for firearm Andrea Vanderstek, 35, of Flippin, was arrested and charged with felony possession of a firearm by certain persons on Wednesday night. The arrest stems from a traffic stop by the Flippin Police Department. According to Police Chief Dusty Smith, officers stopped Vaderstek for traffic violations and located a loaded assault rifle in the back seat of her vehicle. Vanderstek is a convicted felon and prohibited from possessing a firearm. Vanderstek was arrested without incident and transported to the Marion County Sheriff's Office. She was released on $5,000 bond, but according to Smith, Vanderstek is expected to face additional charges for probation violations. Her most recent mug-shot before this one was Sept 21, 2014.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Kayla Re: Chrome goes Full screen Dear Webby, Every now and then my Chrome goes Full Screen. Then I can't get it back to my usual window size. I use two monitors, and have Chrome usually on about half of the second monitor. Is that a problem? Thaks Kayla Dear Kayla Just hit F11, and the window jumps back to where it was before going Full Screen. Using two monitors is not a problem at all. Accidentally hitting F11 is what causes it to jump to Full Screen. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ I have been asked for more church bulletin board Ooopses. Most of these I have printed before at various times, but here is a batch that you can take to church today: *Women's Luncheon: Each member bring a sandwich. Polly Phillips will give the medication. *If you choose to heave during the Postlude, please do so quietly. *We are grateful for the help of those who cleaned up the grounds around the church building and the rector. *Hymn: "I Love Thee My Ford" *Sign-up sheet for anyone wishing to be water baptized on the table in the foyer. *Newsletters are not being sent to absentees because of their weight. *Helpers are needed! Please sign up on the information sheep. *The Advent Retreat will be held in the lover level of St. Mary's Cathedral. *The District Duperintendent will be meeting with the church board. *As soon as the weather clears up, the men will have a goof outing. *Fifth Sinday is Lent. *Thank you dead friends. *Diana and Don request your presents at their wedding. *Lent is that period for preparing for Holy Weed and Easter. *For the word of God is quick and powerful...piercing even to the dividing asunder of soup and spirit. *Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peach to men. *Definition: Persons who are shut-in during bath weather. *Bring one dozen coolies wrapped for Christmas. *The lovers in the exhaust fan are not working. *Volunteers are needed to spit up food. *Head Deacon and Dead Deaconess *We pray that our people will jumble themselves. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Easy Egg Salad for Sandwiches Next time you are cooking scrambled eggs, cook a double quantity and leave half to cool. These can then be mashed with your preferred mayonnaise and freshly ground black pepper to taste. It saves all the palaver of shelling boiled eggs, and is easier to mix into the bargain. I normally scramble my eggs with salted butter - if you prefer to use only skimmed milk, you may wish to add salt. If I am not planning to use the sandwich filling immediately, I will usually store in the fridge for up to three days, covered with cling film. By Verity Pink [27] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Having been married ten years and still living in an apartment, the wife would often complain about anything, as she was tired of saving every penny to buy a "dream home". Trying to placate her, the husband found a new apartment, within their budget. However, after the first week, she began complaining again. "Johnatahan," she said, "I don't like this place at all. There are no curtains in the bathroom. The neighbors can see me every time I take a bath." "Don't worry." replied her husband. "If the neighbors do see you, they'll buy curtains." _____________________________________________________ The happy couple were being interviewed on their Golden Wedding Anniversary. The society reporter asked, "In all that time, did you ever consider a divorce?" "Oh, no, not divorce, we're too old fashioned for that," the husband replied. "Murder occasionally," the wife offered "but never divorce." ____________________________________________________
Some really awesome photos of the 2015 photo contest.

Today in 
1503 Christopher Columbus discovered the Cayman Islands. 
1676 Bacon's Rebellion, which pits frontiersmen against 
 the government, began. 
1773 The English Parliament passed the Tea Act, which taxed 
 all tea in the U.S. colonies and severely annoyed them. 
1774 Louis XVI ascended the throne of France. 
1775 Ethan Allen and Colonel Benedict Arnold led an attack 
 on the British Fort Ticonderoga and captured it from the 
1796 Napoleon Bonaparte won a brilliant victory against 
 the Austrians at Lodi bridge in Italy. 
1840 Mormon leader Joseph Smith moved his band of followers 
 to Illinois to escape the hostilities they had experienced 
 in Missouri. 
1857 The Seepoys of India revolted against the British Army. 
1865 Confederate President Jefferson Davis was captured by 
 Union troops near Irvinville, GA. 
1869 Central Pacific and Union Pacific Rail Roads meet in 
 Promontory, UT. A golden spike was driven in at the 
 celebration of the first transcontinental railroad in the U.S. 
1876 Richard Wagner’s "Centennial Inaugural March" was heard 
 for the first time at the Centennial Exposition in Philadelphia, PA. 
1898 A vending machine law was enacted in Omaha, NE. It cost 
 $5,000 for a permit. 
1908 The first Mother's Day observance took place during a 
 church service in Grafton, West Virginia. 
1924 J. Edgar Hoover was appointed head of the 
 Federal Bureau of Investigation. 
1927 The Hotel Statler in Boston, MA. became the first hotel 
 to install radio headsets in each of its 1,300 rooms. 
1933 The Nazis staged massive public book burnings in Germany. 
1940 Germany invaded Belgium, France, the Netherlands, and 
 Luxembourg, all in one day.
1941 England's House of Commons was destroyed by a German air raid. 
1941 Rudolf Hess, Adolf Hitler's deputy, parachuted into 
 Scotland on what he claimed was a peace mission. England 
 didn't want peace and jailed him for 40 years.
1942 U.S. forces in the Philippines began to surrender to 
 the Japanese. 
1943 U.S. troops invaded Attu in the Aleutian Islands to 
 expel the Japanese. 
1960 The U.S.S. Triton completed the first circumnavigation 
 of the globe under water. The trip started on February 16. 
1968 Preliminary Vietnam peace talks began in Paris. 
1978 Britain's Princess Margaret and the Earl of Snowdon 
 announced they were divorcing after 18 years of marriage. 
1997 An earthquake in northeastern Iran killed at least 
 2,400 people. 
1999 China broke off talks on human rights with the U.S.
 in response to NATO's "accidental" bombing of the Chinese 
 Embassy in Yugoslavia. 
2000 11,000 residents were evacuated in Los Alamos, NM, 
 due to a fire that was blown into a canyon. The fire had 
 been deliberately set to clear brush. 
2001 Boeing Co. announced that it would be moving its 
 headquarters to Chicago, IL. 
2001 In Ghana, 121 people were killed in a stampede at 
 a soccer game. 
2002 Robert Hanssen was sentenced to life in prison with 
 no chance for parole. Hanssen, an FBI agent, had sold U.S. 
 secrets to Moscow for $1.4 million in cash and diamonds. 
2002 Taiwan test fired a locally made Sky Bow II 
 surface-to-air missile for the first time. They also fired 
 three U.S.-made Hawk missiles. 
2002 Dr. Pepper announced that it would be introducing a new 
 flavor, Red Fusion, for the first time in 117 years. 
2011 It was announced that Microsoft had closed a deal to 
 purchase the internet phone service Skype for $8.5 billion. 
2013 In New York, NY, crane operators hoisted the final pieces 
 of the spire atop One World Trade Center (formerly called the 
Freedom Tower). 
     2015  smiled.

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