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Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, May 16

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a 
Partying Oklahoma Woman Left Child 
In Car On Mother's Day
Details at Boneheads

Today in
1770 Marie Antoinette, at age 14, married the future King 
 Louis XVI of France, who was 15.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
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If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Love truth, and pardon error. --- Voltaire (1694 - 1778) I'd rather work with someone who's good at their job but doesn't like me, than someone who likes me but is a ninny. --- Sam Donaldson (1934 - ) ______________________________________________________ The President was awakened one night by an urgent call from the Pentagon. "Mr. President," said the four-star general, barely to contain himself, "there's good news & bad news." "Oh, no," muttered the President, "Well, let me have the bad news first." "The bad news, sir, is that we've been invaded by creatures from another planet." "Gosh, and the good news?" "The good news, sir, is that they eat treehuggers, and sweat gasoline." ______________________________________________________ Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers. "So," he said, "I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe." Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably. "You, attorney Leon, gave me $15,000. And you, attorney Campos, gave me $10,000." The judge reached into his pocket and pulled out a check. He handed it to Leon. "Now then, I'm returning $5,000, and we're going to decide this case solely on its merits!" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Janina for a picture of her frog Click through for the big picture Dear Webby, sharing my photo of the little frog I found hiding in my azaleas as I was getting water from the spigot. Unusual color so, I took some photos and share with you. Thanks for always sharing such great humor and advice to help us through our challenges :>)) Have fun, be well! Janina A., NJ
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Hayley Dawn Hampton, 28, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Partying Oklahoma Woman Left Child In Car On Mother's Day Hayley Dawn Hampton probably won't forget this past Mother's Day, thanks to an arrest for suspected child neglect. Hampton, 28, was allegedly left her 4-year-old child in the back seat of a gray Nissan Xterra on Monday while she was having drinks at a sports bar in Oklahoma City, KOCO.com reports. Police were called to Lumpy's Sports Bar after a bartender saw the child sitting alone in a car in the parking lot. When they approached Hampton, she said she was at the bar to pick up her boyfriend, but stayed when friends asked her to celebrate Mother's Day with a drink, according to NewsOK.com. Hampton said her boyfriend offered to stay outside to watch the child. A bartender said Hampton didn't notice when her boyfriend came back into the bar 15 minutes later. The bartender told authorities that Hampton drank a beer and a shot and was in the bar for an hour before police arrived, News9.com reports. Hampton was taken to the Oklahoma County Jail to schober up a bip, and her child was released to a family member. The boyfriend was not arrested, according to the station. Well, at least she had a sober dedicated driver instead of a DUI accident.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Charles Re: Classic Windows Desktop Dear Webby, A friend told me you mentioned a link for a Windows XP style desktop for the dreaded 8.1. Can you please tell me what that link was? Charles Dear Charles The Classic shell is at http://www.classicshell.net/ Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ You're in incredible shape," the doctor said. "How old are you again?" "I am 78." The man said. "78?" asked the doctor. "How do you stay so healthy? You look like a 60 year old." "Well, my wife and I made a pact when we got married that whenever she got mad she would go into the kitchen and cool off and I would go outside to settle down." the man explained. "What does that have to do with it?" asked the doctor. "I spent a lot of time in the great outdoors." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Easy Brownies I have been making homemade brownies for many years. This recipe is a winner for me, because they are easy, tasty, and moist. Approximate Time: Prep time 10 minutes Cooking time 25 minutes Yield: About 16 large brownies or 32 small onesplate of brownies Ingredients: 1/2 cup sugar 2 Tbsp butter 2 Tbsp water 1 1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips 2 eggs 1/2 tsp vanilla extract 2/3 cup flour 1/4 tsp baking powder 1/2 tsp salt Steps: Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F. Grease and flour an 8x8 inch square pan or dish. In a medium saucepan, combine the sugar, butter and water. Cook over medium heat until boiling. Remove from heat and stir in chocolate chips until melted and smooth. Mix in eggs and vanilla. Combine the flour, baking soda and salt; stir into chocolate mixture. Spread evenly into prepared pan. Bake for 25-30 minutes in preheated oven, until brownies are set. Do not over bake. Use a toothpick for doneness. Cool in pan completely before cutting into squares. Source: Just looking through different recipes on line, and mixing ideas from them. By Jackie H. [68] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A class professor was giving a lecture on company slogans and was asking his students if they were familiar with them. "Joe," he asked, "which company has the slogan, 'come fly the friendly skies'?" Joe answered the correct airline. "Brenda, can you tell me which company has the slogan, "Don't leave home without it?" Brenda answered the correct credit card company with no difficulty. "Now John, Tell me which company bears the slogan, 'Just do it'?" And John answered, "Mom." _____________________________________________________ A lady came to the hospital to visit a friend. She had not been in a hospital for several years and felt very ignorant about all the new technology. A technician followed her onto the elevator, wheeling a large, intimidating looking machine with tubes and wires and dials. "Boy, would I hate to be hooked up to that thing," she said. "So would I," replied the technician. "It's a floor-cleaning machine." ____________________________________________________
I can't even do a hand stand on the ground let alone on a moving horse!

Today in 
1770 Marie Antoinette, at age 14, married the future King 
 Louis XVI of France, who was 15. 
1879 The Treaty of Gandamak between Russia and England set 
 up the Afghan state. 
1881 In Germany, the first electric tram for the public 
 started service. 
1888 The first demonstration of recording on a flat disc 
 was demonstrated by Emile Berliner. 
1888 The capitol of Texas was dedicated in Austin. 
1920 Joan of Arc was canonized in Rome. 
1946 "Annie Get Your Gun" opened on Broadway. 
1946 Jack Mullin showed the world the first magnetic 
 tape recorder. 
1960 A Big Four summit in Paris collapsed due to the 
 American U-2 spy plane incident. 
1960 Theodore Maiman, at Hughes Research Laboratory in 
 California, demonstrated the first working laser. 
1963 After 22 Earth orbits Gordon Cooper returned to Earth, 
 ending Project Mercury. 
1969 Venus 5, a Russian spacecraft, landed on the planet Venus. 
1975 Japanese climber Junko Tabei became the first woman to 
 reach the summit of Mount Everest. 
1977 Five people were killed when a New York Airways helicopter, 
 idling on top of the Pan Am Building in Manhattan, toppled over, 
 sending a huge rotor blade flying. 
1987 The Bobro 400 set sail from New York Harbor with 3,200 
 tons of garbage. The barge travelled 6,000 miles in search 
 of a place to dump its load. It returned to New York Harbor 
 after 8 weeks with the same load. 
1988 A report released by Surgeon General C. Everett Koop 
 declared that nicotine was addictive in similar ways as 
 heroin and cocaine. 
1988 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that police do not have 
 to have a search warrant to search discarded garbage. 
1991 Queen Elizabeth II became the first British monarch 
 to address the U.S. Congress. 
1992 The Endeavour space shuttle landed safely after its 
 maiden voyage. 
1996 Admiral Jeremy "Mike" Boorda, the nation's top Navy 
 officer, died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound after 
 some of his military awards were called into question. 
1997 In Zaire, President Mobutu Sese Seko gave control of 
 the country to rebel forces ending 32 years of autocratic 
 rule. 
2000 U.S. First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton was nominated 
 to run for U.S. Senator in New York. She was the first 
 U.S. first lady to run for public office. She was given a 
 "safe" constituency and a house in new York to get her 
 out of the White House after President Bill Clinton's 
 Monika Lewinsky affair.
2015  smiled.


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