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Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, May 18

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a 
Utah man, who was motivated to rob a credit union
by his desire to bail out his girlfriend.

Details at Boneheads

Today in
1643 Queen Anne, the widow of Louis XIII, was granted 
 sole and absolute power as regent by the Paris parliament, 
 overriding the late king's will.  
More of what happened on this day in history at History
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If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible. --- Alfred A. Knopf ______________________________________________________ 3 year-old Kelli went with her neighbor girl to church for First Communion practice. The pastor has the children cup their hands, and when he gives them the Host, -in this practise case, a piece of bread- he says: "God be with you." Apparently this made quite an impression on Kelli. She came home and told her mother to cup her hands and bend down. Kelli took a piece of bread from her sandwich, placed it in her mother's hands, and whispered, in her most angelic voice: "God will get you." ______________________________________________________ Two writers of modern poetry who had been bitter rivals for years met on a busy street corner. "You know, since we last met, my audience has increased!" the first said. "Congratulations!" the second one said. "How did you do it? By marriage or by adoption? " ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture Newfies preparing to tow an iceberg out of the path towards a drilling platform.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Robert Phillip Rivas, 26, Pleasant Grove, Utah
Utah Man robbed credit union for girlfriend’s bail money Bailing a girlfriend out of jail motivated a man to rob a credit union, police said. Robert Phillip Rivas, 26, and Armando Jesse Ambriz, 28, robbed the Utah Community Credit Union at 105 E. State on May 4, according to the Pleasant Grove Police Department. “We later received information from one of Robert Rivas’ family members indicating that they were aware of a plot he had to rob a bank to obtain money to bail his girlfriend out of jail,” said Lt. Britt Smith. “ (With) search warrants we were able to find some receipts for bail bondsmen that indicated he had in fact bailed his girlfriend out of jail hours after the robbery here in Pleasant Grove.” The case was also unusual because police were able to arrest Ambriz before they even received a physical description of the robbers, according to Smith. “The bank they robbed was just a couple of blocks away from the police department and he was walking toward the police department wearing an obvious disguise, so officers responding from the police department to the bank passed by him first,” he said. “Obviously he stood out like a sore thumb wearing a wig, fake beard and fake eyebrows.” Both Ambriz and Rivas were booked into the Utah County Jail on suspicion of felony robbery and obstruction of justice. Rivas' girlfriend was released on bail, according to Smith. “I don’t know what her plans are now that (Rivas) is looking at some prison time,” Smith said.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Mary Re: Pictures are too big for email Dear Webby, The pictures from my new camera are way too big for email. I had the camera set to record pictures at 480 by something, but everybody was screaming at me about too small and fuzzy pictures. Now I got them large and fine, and they say they can't receive them! What do I do now? Mary Dear Mary Continue taking pictures in large and fine format. That allows you to crop them, cut them down to just the important parts. It also allows you to reduce them in size to what the recipients can handle. Just about everybody can handle 800 x 600, and still enjoy a sharp, fine-grained picture. To crop a picture or to reduce it in size you need some sort of graphcs program. Don't worry, you don't have to shell out big bucks for Photoship or spend a month learning GIMP. There are lots of free graphics programs available. Try a few of them until you come across one, that suits your style. For the pictures in the humor Letter I use about 600 wide for the "Thumbnail", and 1024 for the large picture. If a picture is tall and narro, then of course I have to change that and just make them 1100 tall. That seems to suit the majority. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Wife: "I'm happy to see that the neighbors finally returned our lawn mower before they moved. They certainly had it long enough." Husband: "*Our* lawn mower? I just bought it at the garage sale they're having." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com All Natural Non-Stick Cooking Spray I'm trying to eliminate unwanted chemicals from our diet. I don't like the things in the non-stick aerosol can that I usually use. It struck me the other day; make your own! I had a tiny spray bottle I bought at Walmart for less than a dollar, I added my ingredients, very simple, and it worked great! One more healthy change and very little effort involved. It's even less expensive than the old kind. Approximate Time: 10 minutes? Yield: 2 ounces Ingredients: small fingertip spray bottle 1 ounce water 1 ounce grapeseed oil measuring cup funnel Supplies for Decorating the Spray Bottle old magazine scissors tape cookie cutter or stencil paper bag pen twine supplies Steps: Pour 1 ounce of water into your bottle with a funnel. All Natural Non-Stick Cooking Spray Pour 1 ounce of grapeseed, extra virgin olive oil, or any all natural healthy oil. Non-hydrogenated is very important. Shake well. All Natural Non-Stick Cooking Spray Cut a label from an old magazine and tape onto the front of your bottle. All Natural Non-Stick Cooking Spray Cut a label with a cookie cutter or stencil from a grocery bag for your label. All Natural Non-Stick Cooking Spray Label it and tape on. All Natural Non-Stick Cooking Spray Tie with some twine and you're good to go. All Natural Non-Stick Cooking Spray You don't have to do this, but I find cooking more enjoyable when the items I use are dressed up a bit.:) By melissa [122] I have used an Amway pistol grip sprayer originally intended for their LOC cleaner since the mid 80's for that. I just fill it with olive oil, and when needed, I lightly mist a pan or pot or baking sheet with it. Works fine, and the olive oil lubricates it nicely. It still works as well as on day one. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ One day little Johnny was in his back yard digging a hole. His neighbor, seeing him there, decided to investigate. "Whatcha doin?" he asked. "My budgie bird died and I'm burying him," Johnny replied. "That's an awful big hole for a little bird, ain't it?" asked the neighbor. "That's because he's inside your stupid cat!" _____________________________________________________ Linda was with her mother while her older sister was being examined by a dentist. Linda kept herself busy playing with toys in the waiting room until she noticed that her mom was resting, her eyes closed. With about six other patients waiting, Linda marched up to her mother, looked her straight in the face and shook her shoulder. "Mommy," she yelled, "wake up! This is not church!" ____________________________________________________
Best B.C. Weather Window Photos of 2014

Today in 
1302 The weaver Peter de Coningk led a massacre of the 
 Flemish oligarchs. 
1642 Montreal, Canada, was founded. 
1643 Queen Anne, the widow of Louis XIII, was granted 
 sole and absolute power as regent by the Paris parliament, 
 overriding the late king's will. 
1652 In Rhode Island, a law was passed that made slavery 
 illegal in North America. It was the first law of its kind. 
1792 Russian troops invaded Poland. 
1802 Great Britain declared war on Napoleon's France. 
1804 Napoleon Bonaparte was proclaimed emperor by the 
 French Senate. 
1828 Battle of Las Piedras ended the conflict between 
 Uruguay and Brazil. 
1897 A public reading of Bram Stoker's new novel, "Dracula, 
 or, The Un-dead," was performed in London. 
1917 The U.S. Congress passed the Selective Service act, 
 which called up soldiers to fight in World War I. 
1926 Evangelist Aimee Semple McPherson vanished while visiting 
 a beach in Venice, CA. She reappeared a month later with the 
 claim that she had been kidnapped. 
1931 Japanese pilot Seiji Yoshihara crashed his plane in the 
 Pacific Ocean while trying to be the first to cross the ocean 
 nonstop. He was picked up seven hours later by a passing ship. 
1933 The Tennessee Valley Authority was created. 
1934 The U.S. Congress approved an act, known as the 
 "Lindberg Act," that called for the death penalty in 
 interstate kidnapping cases. 
1944 Monte Cassino, Europe's oldest Monastic house, was finally 
 captured by the Allies in Italy. 
1951 The United Nations moved its headquarters to New York City. 
1974 India became the sixth nation to explode an atomic bomb. 
1980 Mt. Saint Helens erupted in Washington state. 57 people were 
 killed and 3 billion in damage was done. 
1983 The U.S. Senate revised immigration laws and gave millions 
 of illegal aliens legal status under an amnesty program. 
1994 Israel's three decades of occupation in the Gaza Strip 
 ended as Israeli troops completed their withdrawal and 
 Palestinian authorities took over. 
1998 The U.S. federal government and 20 states filed a sweeping 
 antitrust case against Microsoft Corp., saying the computer 
 software company had a "choke hold" on competitors which denied 
 consumer choices by controlling 90% of the software market. 
1998 U.S. federal officials arrested more than 130 people and 
 seized $35 million. This was the end to an investigation of 
 money laundering being done by a dozen Mexican banks and two 
 drug-smuggling cartels. 
2014 Russian President Putin signed a bill to absorb Crimea 
 into the Russian Federation. 
2015  smiled.


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