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Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, May 19

Have FUN!

Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Iowa
Sex Attacker, who Claimed That Victim 
Was "Not Even Rapable" By His Standards
Details at Boneheads

Today in
1536 Anne Boleyn, the second wife of England's King Henry VIII, 
 was beheaded after she was convicted of adultery. 
1568 After being defeated by the Protestants, Mary the Queen 
 of Scots, fled to England where she was imprisoned by 
 Queen Elizabeth. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
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A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores. --- Terry Pratchett ______________________________________________________ A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets to the gates there are two lines. One has a sign over it that States "I did everything my wife told me to." The second line has a sign that states, "I made my own decisions." Joe comes up and gets in the first line that wraps around and around and goes on for eternity. As he's standing there he notices the second line only had one man standing in it. He asks the guys in front of him, "Who does he think he is? Yeah right he made his own decisions. " After long thought and not coming up with any reason for why this man was standing in the line by himself he goes up to him asks why he is in that line. The man replies, "I don't really know. My wife told me to stand over here." ______________________________________________________ Adam and Eve must have had a great marriage. Adam couldn't talk about his Mother's cooking, and Eve couldn't mention all the men she could/should have married. ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture SkyBridge, Norway
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by William Milller, 36, Coralville, Iowa
Accused Sex Attacker Claimed That Victim Was "Not Even Rapable" By His Standards In denying that he sexually assaulted a woman, an Iowa man told cops that the victim was “not even rapable” by his standards, according to court records. William Miller, 36, was named in a May 7 criminal complaint charging him with felony sexual abuse in connection with the alleged attack last year. According to police, the victim “was with friends drinking and hanging out” at an Iowa City home. When “everyone went to sleep,” Miller removed the incapacitated woman’s pants and “began having sex with her.” The attack last May was interrupted by a friend of the victim, who ordered Miller to “get away.” Miller then d eparted the residence. The friend, cops report, “was able to wake the passed out victim and get her to the hospital for an exam.” When questioned by cops, Miller admitted having sex with the woman, but claimed that the encounter was consensual. As reported by the Iowa City Police Department, Miller “classified the victim as ‘not even rapable’ by his own standards.” Miller, who lives in Coralville, an Iowa City suburb, is pictured in the above mug shot. Locked up in lieu of $26,000 bail, Miller is also facing theft, public intoxication, and interference with official acts charges. In the last two years, Miller has been convicted of d omestic abuse, theft, harassment, marijuana possession, public intoxication, and trespass, court records show.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Don Re: Picture resizer for W7 Dear Webby, I was reminded when reading your newsletter today that Picture Resizer does not seem to work with Windows 7. I really liked that program, is there another one similar that will work with Windows7? Don S Dear Don There are tones of resizers available, if you google for them. Here is one of them: Free Picture Resizer Free Picture Resizer lets you perform basic image editing, such as resizing, rotating, and flipping a photo as well as applying filters and other color corrections. The software comes free of charge and also features batch file processing and an intuitive interface. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Little Harold was practicing the violin in the living room while his father was trying to read in the den. The family dog was lying in the den, and as the screeching sounds of little Harold's violin reached his ears, he began to howl loudly. The father listened to the dog and the violin as long as he could. Finally, when he could take it any longer, he jumped up, and yelled above the noise, "For Pete's sake, Harold, can't you play something the dog doesn't know?!"
That reminds me, ... do you know the main difference between a violin and a viola ? A viola apparently burns longer. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Making Hard Boiled Eggs First, put eggs in a pan and fill with enough cold water to cover eggs completely, then bring water to a rapid boil. As soon as the water reaches a rapid boil, remove pan from heat and cover pan tightly with a lid. The length of time it takes to hard boil an egg depends on the size and type of the egg. Let sit 12 minutes for regular-sized eggs, 17 minutes for large eggs and 20 minutes for jumbo eggs. Transfer eggs immediately to cold water (I add ice cubes to water) and let cool at least 10 minutes. This causes a layer of steam to develop between the shell and the egg white, which makes peeling the egg much easier. Store in the refrigerator. By mcw [80] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ It takes a second to become infatuated with someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone - but it takes a lifetime to forget some people. _____________________________________________________ A lady goes into the local sporting goods store to buy a fishing rod to give to her husband for his birthday. A salesman wearing dark glasses with a dog is behind the counter and asks, "Can I help you ma'am ?" "Well, I'd like to buy a fishing rod, can you tell me about this one?" she answers. The salesman replies, "I'm sorry ma'am but I am blind and can not see the rod your referring too. However, if you'll drop it on the counter I'll tell you all about it as I can tell from the sound it makes." The lady picks up the rod, and does what he says and drops it on the counter. He belts "That's a Zebco 2500, fiberglass, 6.5', medium action - $15." Lady - "Wow !" She finds another and does the same. "Thats an Orion 35C, graphite, 6', light action - best used with ultralight tackle - $20." Very impressed the lady decides to buy the second one. As the man is ringing up the sale, the lady feels the gasses produced by the beans at lunch to rumble and escape, but feels no need to apologize as the salesman is blind and has no idea who she is. Salesman says, "That'll be $25." "TWENTY FIVE DOLLARS !? YOU SAID $20?" "That's right mam, $20 for the rod, $3 for the duck call, and $2 for the stinkfish bait." ____________________________________________________
I love mysteries.

Today in 
1535 French explorer Jacques Cartier set sail for North America. 
1536 Anne Boleyn, the second wife of England's King Henry VIII, 
 was beheaded after she was convicted of adultery. 
1568 After being defeated by the Protestants, Mary the Queen 
 of Scots, fled to England where she was imprisoned by 
 Queen Elizabeth. 
1588 The Spanish Armada set sail from Lisbon, bound for 
1608 The Protestant states formed the Evangelical Union 
 of Lutherans and Calvinists. 
1643 The French army defeated a Spanish army at Rocroi, 
1847 The first English-style railroad coach was placed in 
 service on the Fall River Line in Massachusetts. 
1857 The electric fire alarm system was patented by 
 William F. Channing and Moses G. Farmer. 
1858 A pro-slavery band led by Charles Hameton executed 
 unarmed Free State men near Marais des Cygnes on the 
 Kansas-Missouri border. 
1911 The first American criminal conviction that was based 
 on fingerprint evidence occurred in New York City. 
1921 The U.S. Congress passed the Emergency Quota Act, which 
 established national quotas for immigrants. 
1926 Thomas Edison spoke on the radio for the first time. 
1926 Benito Mussolini announced that democracy was 
 deceased. Rome became a fascist state. 
1926 In Damascus, Syria, French shells killed 600 people. 
1935 T.E. Lawrence "Lawrence of Arabia" died from injuries 
 in a motorcycle crash in England. 
1958 Canada and the U.S. formally established the North 
 American Air Defense Command. 
1962 Marilyn Monroe performed a sultry rendition of 
 "Happy Birthday" for U.S. President John F. Kennedy. The 
 event was a fund-raiser at New York's Madison Square Garden. 
1964 The U.S. State Department reported that diplomats had 
 found about 40 microphones planted in the U.S. Embassy 
 in Moscow. 
1967 U.S. planes bombed Hanoi for the first time. 
1974 Erno Rubik invented the puzzle what would later become 
 known as the Rubik's Cube. 
1988 In Jacksonville, FL, Carlos Lehder Rivas was convicted 
 of smuggling more than three tons of cocaine into the 
 United States. Rivas was the co-founder of Colombia's 
 Medellin drug cartel. 
1992 U.S. Vice President Dan Quayle criticized the CBS sitcom 
 "Murphy Brown" for having its title character decide to bear 
 a child out of wedlock. 
1992 In Massapequa, NY, Mary Jo Buttafuoco was shot and 
 seriously wounded by Amy Fisher. Fisher was her husband 
 Joey's teen-age lover. 
1998 In Russia, strikes broke out over unpaid wages. 
1999 "Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace" was released 
 in the U.S. It set a new record for opening day sales at 
 28.5 million. 
1999 Rosie O'Donnell and Tom Selleck got into an uncomfortable 
 verbal issue concerning gun control on O'Donnell's talk show. 
2000 The bones of the most complete and best-preserved 
 Tyrannosaurus rex skeleton went on display in Chicago. 
2000 Disney released the movie "Dinosaur." 
2003 It was announced that Worldcom Inc. would pay investors 
 $500 million to settle civil fraud charges over its $11 
 billion accounting scandal. 
2003 Hundreds of Albert Einstein's scientific papers, personal 
 letters and humanist essays were make available on the 
 Internet. Einstein had given the papers to the Hebrew 
 Universtiy of Jerusalem in his will. 
2005 "Star Wars: Episode III Revenge of the Sith" brought 
 in 50.0 million in its opening day.
2015  smiled.

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