Kids by parcel post 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, May 21

Thank You, Nancy!

Thanks also to the half dozen people, 
who sent birthday greetings by email.

Have FUN!

Today's Bonehead Award goes to 
two Floriduh men apparently preparing to 
attack small town.
Details at Boneheads

Today in
0996 Sixteen year old Otto III was crowned the Roman Emperor. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead. --- Erma Bombeck (1927 - 1996) There is scarcely anything in the world that some man cannot make a little worse, and sell a little more cheaply. The person who buys on price alone is this man's lawful prey. --- John Ruskin (1819 - 1900) ______________________________________________________ Not long after their wedding, the newlyweds awoke early one morning. The couple had been up for quite a while before they met again in the kitchen. Marriage was agreeing with the husband, and he greeted his new wife with glee and excitation that morning. "If you'll make the toast and pour the juice, sweetheart," said the newlywed bride, "breakfast will be ready." "Great! What are we having for breakfast?" he asked. "Toast and juice." replied the bride. ______________________________________________________ Stalin appears before Russian President Vladimir Putin in a dream, and asks what he can do to help. "What can I do?" Putin groans. "The economy is collapsing, the miners are on strike, the army is useless and nobody treats us with any respect." "Shoot the entire government and then paint the Kremlin blue," says Stalin. "Why blue?" "I had a feeling you'd only want to discuss the second half." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Clyde S for this picture of one of his cacti: Click through for the big picture Clyde's Cactus
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Christopher Conger, 32 and Jeremy Robertson, 29, Florida
Tipster Alerts Police To 'Rocket-Propelled Grenade' Attack On 'Norman Rockwell' Town Authorities in Florida made two arrests and confiscated a cache of weapons and drugs after receiving a tip that two men were planning to attack a police department, church and youth camp, with a "rocket-propelled grenade launcher." "They certainly had the means to carry out a threat," Eustis Police Chief Fred Cobb told The Huffington Post. Cobb's department, along with the Saint Mary of the Lakes Catholic Church and an Elks Lodge youth camp were the intended targets of the attack, according to a tip authorities received from a jail inmate on Friday. That tip led investigators to a Marion County property, where they seized 22 firearms, several containers of black powder, two bulletproof vests, over a pound of marijuana, powder and crack cocaine, prescription pills and drug paraphernalia, police said. Authorities say they found 32-year-old Christopher Conger and 29-year-old Jeremy Robertson inside an outbuilding, but were unable to locate the rocket launcher the tipster said the men planned to use in their alleged attack. "I happen to know the confidential informant," Cobb said. "Even though I would question his credibility, everything he provided proved to be accurate, other than the grenade launcher." The tipster allegedly told the Marion County Sheriff's Office that Conger and Robertson were motivated by recent "run-ins" with police, but Cobb said he is unaware of any ongoing issues with either man. "We've had interactions with them over the years, but nothing that stands out that would cause them to have, in my opinion, any ill will toward the police department," the chief said. "The fact that a rocket-propelled grenade launcher wasn't found doesn't mean it doesn't exist," Brevard told the news station. "We hope we can find it, if it's out there." Cobb said the grenade launcher was likely "nothing but bravado." "The weapons and bulletproof vests concern me more so than a grenade launcher, which is hard to come by for the average person," Cobb told HuffPost. Conger, of Umatilla, was charged with seven criminal counts and Robertson, of Ocala, faces eight counts. The alleged offenses include possession of cocaine with intent to sell, grand theft of a firearm, using or displaying a firearm during a felony and wearing a bulletproof vest during certain crimes. Neither man has been arrested in connection with the alleged grenade launcher attack. "We have a Norman Rockwell town with our streetscapes and lakefront property and the caliber of people that live in our community," said Cobb. "So itís a sobering reminder that things like this can happen in Small Town USA."
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Irmgard Re: What is batch processing? Dear Webby, You mentioned it again, batch processing. While I can envision a batch of jam or even moonshine, how does that apply to resizing pictures? I hope you don't mean writing bats like we used to in the stone age! Irmgard Dear Irmgard No need to write bats anymore. It's all done with mousing around now. Select a folder, or a bunch of files, and in the resizer tell it what the final size should be. Hit OK and let it rattle down the list. With most resizers you can even specify whether it should ov erwrite the original files, or to leave them alone and put the resized ones somewhere else. Most of them also let you automatically rename the resized files, give them for example a prefix like 2015, and number them. Doing that for a whole batch of selected pictures is what is called batch processing. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Sign in a veterinarian's office: All unattended children will be given a free kitten.
The judge read the charges, then asked, "Are you the defendant in this case?" "No sir, your honor, sir," replied Jill, "I've got a lawyer to do the defendin'. I'm the person who done it." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Sheets as Shade Cloth We recently needed a shade cloth for our greenhouse. As my husband is currently laid-off, we couldn't afford to buy one really. So we went to the local thrift store (which supports the local animal shelter, yay for that!) and bought twin sized sheets. We tacked and stapled them up to the rafters, and they are doing a fabulous job. Cooled the greenhouse off quite a bit, and the lettuce and cucumbers are much happier. By 4TruLady [4] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Only yesterday in 1898 it was made illegal to package children up and send them by parcel-post. Seems the kids kept getting out of their boxes and playing with the mail. _____________________________________________________ One night, a lady stumbled into the police station with a black eye. She claimed she heard a noise in her back yard and ran out swinging her rolling pin. The next thing she knew, she was hit in the eye and knocked out cold. An officer was sent to her house to investigate, and he returned a half hour later with a black eye as well. "Did you get hit by the same person?" his captain asked. "No sir," he replied. "I stepped on the same rake." ____________________________________________________
This artistís handmade, glass blown animal sculptures are amazing works of art.

Today in 
0996 Sixteen year old Otto III was crowned the Roman Emperor. 
1471 King Henry VI was killed in the tower of London. 
 Edward IV took the throne. 
1536 The Reformation was officially adopted in Geneva, 
1542 Hernando de Soto died along the Mississippi River 
 while searching for gold. 
1602 Martha's Vineyard was first sighted by Captain 
 Bartholomew Gosnold. 
1790 Paris was divided into 48 zones. 
1819 Bicycles were first seen in the U.S. in New York City. 
 They were originally known as "swift walkers." 
1840 New Zealand was declared a British colony. 
1906 Louis H. Perlman received his patent for the 
 demountable tire-carrying rim. 
1924 Fourteen-year-old Bobby Franks was murdered in a 
 "thrill killing" committed by Nathan Leopold Jr. and 
 Richard Loeb. The killers were students at the 
 University of Chicago. 
1927 Charles A. Lindberg completed the first solo nonstop 
 airplane flight across the Atlantic Ocean. The trip began 
 May 20. 
1929 The first automatic electric stock quotation board was 
 used by Sutro and Company of New York City. 
1934 Oskaloosa, IA, became the first city in the U.S. to 
 fingerprint all of its citizens. 
1956 The U.S. exploded the first airborne hydrogen bomb in 
 the Pacific Ocean over Bikini Atoll. 
1968 The nuclear-powered U.S. submarine Scorpion, with 99 
 men aboard, was last heard from. The remains of the sub 
 were later found on the ocean floor 400 miles southwest 
 of the Azores. 
1970 The National Guard was mobilized to quell disturbances 
 at Ohio State University. 
1980 The movie "The Empire Strikes Back" was released. 
1982 The British landed in the Falkland Islands and 
 fighting began. 
1991 In Madras, India, the former prime minister, Rajiv Gandhi 
 was killed by a bouquet of flowers that contained a bomb. 
1998 An expelled student, Kipland Kinkel, in Springfield, OR, 
 killed 2 people and wounded 25 others with a semi-automatic 
 rifle. Police also discovered that the boy had killed his 
 parents before the rampage. 
1998 Microsoft and Sega announced that they are collaborating 
 on a home video game system. 
1998 In Miami, FL, five abortion clinics were hit by a 
 butyric acid-attacker.
2015  smiled.

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