Microsoft defragger 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, May 27

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Woman Faces Bribery Charge 
For Lick Offer
Details at Boneheads

Today in
1647 Alse Young (Achsah Young or Alice Young), a resident 
 of Windsor, CT, was executed for being a "witch." It was 
 the first recorded American execution of a "witch." 
1668 Three colonists were expelled from Massachusetts for 
 being Baptists. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
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If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) ______________________________________________________ >From Norm Beany's Drive Thru - Long Beach , California - 1952-53. Really cool. Fats singing, 20 cents for a burger, old cars and the girls skirts were all the way down to the knees, almost. ______________________________________________________ Following some duty overseas, the officers at the Fort were planning a welcome home party and dance for the unit. Being an all male combat force, they decided to request coeds from some of the surrounding colleges to attend. The Captain called Vassar and was assured by the Dean that arrangements would be made to send over a dozen of their most trustworthy students. The Captain hesitated, then said, "Would it also be possible to send a dozen or so normal ones ?" ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture Garden of the Gods located in Colorado Springs, Colorado.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Elaine Robinson, 52, Monroe Louisiana
Woman Faces Bribery Charge For Lick Offer A Louisiana woman is facing a public bribery charge after allegedly making an indecent proposal to the cop who arrested her for pummeling her live-in boyfriend, according to court records. Diane Thomas, 52, was busted earlier this month for punching her beau in the face “multiple times” and scratching him with her fingernails during a confrontation in the couple’s Monroe home. When Thomas was read her Miranda rights by a Monroe Police Department officer, she stated that her boyfriend was a “bitch,” adding that he “got in her face so she beat his ass,” according to a May 16 probable cause affidavit. After Thomas was handcuffed, she told Corporal Chris Ballard that she could not go to jail since she “has a good job.” At that point, Thomas allegedly made Ballard an offer he would refuse. "If you won't take me to jail I will get on my knees right now," she reportedly declared. "Officer I will even lick your butt hole." Already facing a misdemeanor domestic abuse charge, Thomas was then hit with a felony public bribery count for allegedly offering to lick Corporal Ballard. Pictured above, Thomas was subsequently freed on $5000 bond.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Jax Re: Microsoft defrag Dear Webby, I run win 7 and my defrag is: 1) open start 2) open Programs 3) open accessories 4) open System tools 5) enter on the disk defrag icon 5 down from top Webby been a long time subscriber, please keep up the good work, YOU have helped a lot of people including me! Jaxs Dear Jax Yes, I know. The problem is that the built in defrag does not produce noticeable results for me. It seems to be a total waste of time. Defragler, on the other hand, produces quite noticeable results, and even lets you see which files are fragmented the worst. Those are usually Windows system files, that you don't want to mess with, but others are often obsolete files. Deleting those before a defrag speeds up the defrag. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think. ______________________________________________________ If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress? ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Homemade Stain Remover Mix 1 part hydrogen peroxide and 1 part original blue Dawn dishwashing liquid. Brush on stain. Wash as usual. Note: I let it sit half an hour. This works wonders on stains, even if you have put the item in the dryer. By Judy [18] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Sammy has stolen the rabbi's gold watch. He didn't feel too good about it, so he decided, after a sleepless night, to go to the rabbi. 'Rabbi, I stole a gold watch.' 'But Sammy! That's forbidden! You should return it immediately!' 'What shall I do?' 'Give it back to the owner.' 'Do you want it?' 'No, I said return it to its owner.' 'But he doesn't want it.' 'In that case, you can keep it. _____________________________________________________ Having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked by the doctor, "Why do you want to join the Navy, son?" "My father said it'd be a good idea, sir." "Oh? And what does your father do?" "He's in the Army, sir." ____________________________________________________
Incredible animation and music from Animusic.

Today in 
1647 Alse Young (Achsah Young or Alice Young), a resident 
 of Windsor, CT, was executed for being a "witch." It was 
 the first recorded American execution of a "witch." 
1668 Three colonists were expelled from Massachusetts for 
 being Baptists. 
1813 Americans captured Fort George, Canada. 
1901 The Edison Storage Battery Company was organized. 
1907 The Bubonic Plague broke out in San Francisco. 
1919 A U.S. Navy seaplane completed the first 
 transatlantic flight. 
1931 Piccard and Knipfer made the first flight into the 
 stratosphere, by balloon. 
1935 The U.S. Supreme Court declared that President Franklin 
 Roosevelt's National Industrial Recovery Act was 
 unconstitutional. 
1937 In California, the Golden Gate Bridge was opened to 
 pedestrian traffic. The bridge connected San Francisco 
 and Marin County. 
1941 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt proclaimed an 
 "unlimited national emergency" amid rising world tensions. 
1941 The German battleship Bismarck was sunk by British naval 
 and air forces. 2,300 people were killed. 
1942 German General Erwin Rommel began a major offensive in 
 Libya with his Afrika Korps. 
1944 U.S. General MacArthur landed on Biak Island in New Guinea. 
1960 A military coup overthrew the democratic government of Turkey. 
1977 George H. Willig was fined for scaling the World Trade Center 
 in New York on May 26. He was fined $1.10. 
1982 Japan announced the elimination of tariffs on 96 
 industrial goods. 
1986 Mel Fisher recovered a jar that contained 2,300 emeralds from 
 the Spanish ship Atocha. The ship sank in the 17th century. 
1994 Nobel Prize-winning author Alexander Solzhenitsyn returned 
 to Russia. He had been in exile for two decades. 
1996 Russian President Boris Yeltsin negotiated a cease-fire to 
 the war in Chechnya in his first meeting with the leader 
 of the rebels. 
1997 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the sexual harassment 
 suit filed by Paula Jones could continue while President 
 Clinton was in office. 
1998 Michael Fortier was sentenced to 12 years in prison for not 
 warning anyone about the plot to bomb an Oklahoma City 
 federal building. 
1999 In The Hague, Netherlands, a war crimes tribunal indicted 
 Slobodan Milosevic and four others for atrocities in Kosovo. 
 It was the first time that a sitting head of state had been 
 charged with such a crime. 
2015  smiled.


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