Open Office for DELL Inspiron 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, May 28

Have FUN!

Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Indiana man, who choked fiancee for 
trash-talking NASCAR
Details at Boneheads

Today in
585 BC Thales Miletus predicted a solar eclipse. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The best of us must sometimes eat our words. --- J. K. Rowling ______________________________________________________ >From Donnie The thrifty hint in today's newsletter reminded me of another use for Hydrogen Peroxide and Dawn De-Skunking solution: Having to de-skunk our dogs is never a joyful occasion, but at least there is a good and affordable mixture. Wash the victim with Dawn (apply with a heavy hand), rinse, then apply the peroxide, rubbing the hide vigorously. Rinse thoroughly. You may have to repeat more than once, depending upon the marksmanship of the skunk. Much better and more affordable than many of the other common home remedies! That reminded me of the story of the bird hunters whose dog got sprayed early in a week-long out-of-state hunt. One of them had recently read a list of helpful home remedies and they decided to give one a try, since just washing the dog yielded poor results. According to them, the new idea worked great, but the checker at the local mega-mart surely gave the two hunters, dressed in brush pants and field jackets, a most peculiar stare as they checked out with five gallons of "feminine hygiene" product and a leash in their cart. ______________________________________________________ You know you're old, ... if you can remember when bacon, eggs and sunshine were good for you. ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by David Wilson, 57, Franklin, Indiana
Indiana man chokes fiancee for trash-talking NASCAR An argument over NASCAR and IndyCar has led to domestic battery charges for a man in Franklin, Indiana. David Wilson, 57, was arrested Sunday after he allegedly choked his fiancée during an Indianapolis 500 viewing party, reports. The victim told officers she and the suspect had been drinking all day. Wilson told police he was making dinner in the kitchen when he heard his fiancée and another person "talking trash about NASCAR" in the living room. Wilson allegedly came into the room and “started rambling on about NASCAR being better than IndyCar,” according to the incident report. Then he choked her, according to the Indianapolis Star. When the victim tried to call 911, Wilson allegedly shouted, “Who are you calling?” and took the phone from her. He told the dispatcher, “Everything is fine here,” and hung up, according to the police report. Wilson was arrested and charged with domestic battery and strangulation, according to WAVE.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Bob Re: Office for DELL inspiron Dear Webby, Good Morning Webby, Once again I must come to you for advise. Just got a new Dell Inspiron 20 Desk Top that does not have "Word or Works" programs. Wanted to download the free version of "Open Office" but McAfee gave me a warning in Big Red letters that it was not safe to download this program. I was able to locate another free program "Libreoffice" but did not try to download as I wanted your advise on which program I should use. You have mentioned "Open Office" in the past and am wondering whether this warning is false. Thank you. Daily Voter, Bob Dear Bob Open Office and Office Libre are pretty well the same. Some European Governments are specifying that each product they buy has to have a second source, in case the seller of one gets caught bribing. Inofficially, they are miffed at the bribers from Microsoft, and are trying to rebel against the Microsoft monopoly. So the good people at Open Office split into two teams, Open Office and Libre Office, and they are actually quite honestly competing against each other! Competition just like in the old days when Word Perfect and Word Star and Word competed, and every time you opened a computer magazine, one of the three had come up with some new trick, which the other two of course copied right away. For the real Open Office, not for Trojan loaded copies at shady download sites, go directly to McAfee has no problem at all with that site. You can even download a pile of templates there for most of your correspondence. By the way, I just downloaded the update from 4.1.0 to 4.1.1, and McAfee had absolutely no problem with it. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ As Morris and his wife Sherry were planning a vacation. They ended up in an argument, "It's 'Hawaii', I'm telling you!" Sherry said. "I never KNEW someone so stubborn! 'Havaii' is how it's pronounced!" he replied. And so it went all the way to the vacation. As they got off the airplane, they passed a man. Morris abruptly stopped his wife and turned to the man to ask, "Now that we're on the island, you can settle an argument between my wife and me. Is this 'Hawaii' or 'Havaii?'" "This is Havaii," the man replied. "Ha!" the husband gloated to his wife. "See, didn't I tell you never to argue with me?" As they began to walk away, Morris turned back and gave the man a hearty "Thank you!" "You're Ferry Velcome!" the Hawaiian called back. ______________________________________________________ After much urging by his wife, Uncle Joe applied for work on a farm. The foreman decided to give him a try and told him to milk a cow, equipping him with a stool and a bucket. An hour later Uncle Joe returned dirty and sweaty, the bucket in one hand and the broken stool in the other. "Extracting the milk was easy," he explained. "The worst part was getting the cow to sit on the stool!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Can Tabs for Instant Room in Your Closet Instead of buying those multi-hanger type hangers, use the tabs from tab opening cans, such as soda, cat food, ravioli, etc., to hook one or more clothes hangers together to create more room in your closet! Just slip the tab onto the hanger hook and connect the hangers! By Donna [233] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ At Sunday school, the teacher asked Johnny, "Johnny, could you tell me what are we supposed to do to deserve the salvation?" "Yeah, of course" Little Johnny replied. "We're supposed to sin a lot first so that we got something to be forgiven for!" _____________________________________________________ Linda had gotten a new job as a reporter at her local newspaper and she was brought in to meet the crusty old editor on her first day on the job. "Names, names," the old editor insisted to the new reporter. "No story is complete without the names of everyone involved." Linda assured him she would make him proud of her reporting abilities, and her first assignment was to write an article on a local disaster. She came back a few hours later and filed this report: Three farms in our area were affected by severe lightning storms that struck Thursday night. Mr. and Mrs. Horace Greene reported a fire in their barn. Michael Arlington said several trees were knocked down by the violence of the storm. And Fred Morse reported that three of his cows were struck by lightning. Their names were Bessie, Elsie and Bertha. ____________________________________________________
Amazing finds on Google Earth

Today in 
585 BC Thales Miletus predicted a solar eclipse. 
585BC The Persian-Lydian battle ended. 
1533 England's Archbishop declared the marriage of 
 King Henry VIII to Anne Boleyn valid. 
1805 Napoleon was crowned in Milan, Italy. 
1863 The first black regiment left Boston to fight in 
 the U.S. Civil War. 
1900 Britain annexed the Orange Free State. 
1918 Azerbaijan declared independence. 
1928 Chrysler Corporation merged with Dodge Brothers, Inc. 
1934 The Dionne quintuplets were born near Callender, Ontario, 
to Olivia and Elzire Dionne. The babies were the first 
 quintuplets to survive infancy. 
1937 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt pushed a button in 
 Washington, DC, signaling that vehicular traffic could 
 cross the newly opened Golden Gate Bridge in California. 
1940 During World War II, Belgium surrendered to Germany. 
1976 The Peaceful Nuclear Explosion Treaty was signed, 
 limiting any nuclear explosion regardless of its purpose 
 to a yield of 150 kilotons. 
1977 Fire raced through the Beverly Hills Supper Club in 
 Southgate, KY. 165 people were killed. 
1985 David Jacobsen, director of the American University 
 Hospital in Beirut, Lebanon, was abducted by pro-Iranian 
 kidnappers. He was freed 17 months later. 
1987 Mathias Rust, a 19-year-old West German pilot, landed 
 a private plane in Moscow's Red Square after evading Soviet 
 air defenses. He was released August 3, 1988. 
1995 An earthquake in the Russian town Neftegorsk killed at 
 least 2000 people. It had a magnitude of 7.5. 
1996 U.S. President Clinton's former business partners in the 
 Whitewater land deal were convicted of fraud. 
1998 Pakistan matched India with five nuclear test blasts. 
 The U.S., Japan and other nations imposed economic sanctions. 
 Pakistani Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif said "Today, we have 
 settled the score with India." 
1998 Dr. Susan Terebey discovered a planet outside of our 
 solar system with the use of photos taken by the Hubble 
 Space Telescope. 
1999 In Milan, Italy, Leonardo de Vinci's "The Last Supper" 
 was put back on display after more than 20 years of 
 restoration work. 
2002 Russia became a limited partner in NATO with the 
 creation of the NATO-Russia Council. 
2015  smiled.

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