Gmail filters the easy way 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, May 29
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

Thank you, Jean!

Have FUN!

Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Woman accused of pouring bleach on her wife
Details at Boneheads

Today in
1953 Edmund Hillary and Sherpa Tenzing Norgay became first 
 men to reach the top of Mount Everest.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A musicologist is a man who can read music but can't hear it. --- Sir Thomas Beecham (1879 - 1961) Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ I don't think I'll ever have a mother's intuition. A friend left me alone in a restaurant with her 16-month-old kid. I asked, "What do I do if he cries?" She said, "Give him some vegetables." It turns out that jalapenos are not his favorite vegetable and I will not be asked to babysit again. --------------- Another trick I found working well is to keep my hands in my pockets, when somebody thrusts (throws) a leaking or screeching baby at me. They are usually totally off-balance, when I don't take the baby, and I get to grab the mother to keep her from falling over. It's a lot funnier for me than for her. ______________________________________________________ There are three ways to get something done: Do it yourself, hire someone to do it, or forbid your children to do it. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Walter, the Stonecarver for this picture: Click through for the big picture
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Susan Leslie, 51, Des Moines, Iowa
Woman accused of pouring bleach on wife Police on Tuesday arrested a Des Moines woman on suspicion of pouring bleach over her wife earlier that day. Police were dispatched to the couple's home at about 3 p.m. T uesday to address a domestic dispute, according to the police report. The victim called police after the couple got into an argument over the victim cleaning a bedroom with Febreze, an air freshener. Police took Susan Leslie, 51, into custody that afternoon, according to the report. Leslie was upset because the Febreze was making her "very sick," police said. Leslie's wife locked herself in a bedroom to escape from Leslie and called 911 with her cellphone. The call kept dropping, according to the report, so the victim called a friend, who notified Des Moines police. Leslie is accused of using a pair of scissors to pry open the door to get to the victim. Leslie was holding a can of bleach, and police said she poured it on the victim's head and arms. The victim ran away. When police arrived, Leslie told police she was in pain because her wife had physically assaulted her. Leslie told police the victim hit her with the bleach bottle, but police saw no visible injury on Leslie. When police found the victim, she smelled of bleach and had bleached areas on her sweatshirt and pants. The victim filed for a no-contact order because, police said, she was scared of further physical fights with Leslie. Police arrested Leslie, 51, on charges of domestic assault with intent to cause injury or display of weapon. Leslie was taken to Polk County Jail. Bond was set at $2,000.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Denise Re: Gmail Filters Dear Webby My email addresses were 'attacked' and a message was sent out to the addresses. What a mess - Did you get an email from me also. . . . . Now my GMAIL messages go directly to Trash. The directions are to go to Tools, etc and make changes to the filter. I cannot locate this. Can you please help? Thanks Denise Dear Denise If a spam mail or malicious mail was sent to me, MailWasher murdered it, in the dark, unseen by any human. And sent it to hell! Filters in Gmail? Would be a lot easier if you were on Skype, so that I could step you through the process. 1) Open Gmail 2) In the search on top type a phrase, that is only in the spam or malicious email, let's say "Beneficiary". 3) At the right side of the search field, just before the blue field with the magnifying glass, is a tiny downward facing triangle. Pull that down. 4) That gives you "Show Search Options", and depending on your version, might open the Search Options, with "Beneficiary" already filled in. 5) At the bottom right corner in that Search Option screen there is a link to "Create filter with this search ". Hit that. 6) In the next screen you have all kinds of options for doing things to mails with "Beneficiary" in it. Put a checkmark on "Delete it". 7) At the bottom, beside CREATE FILTER is another checkbox, "Also apply filter to 7.. matching conversations". Checkmark that. 8) Hit Create Filter You might want to highlight the blue part, and hit CTRL P to print , but choose "Print Selection". Then you can follow the 8 steps almost as easily as if you were flirting at me on Skype (text). After making that filter by using my much easier method, you can stick that printed sheet into the ziplock bag with the cheat sheets, that you got attached to the back of the monitor. To edit or delete old filters get out of any particular mail, so that you see the goofy little sprocket in the right upper area. Hit that, select Settings, and then Settings again. Eventually the Settings page appears. In the links at the top of the white part, the fifth from the left is FILTERS Hit that. That brings up all your filters, and you can edit or delete any of them. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ No wonder kids are confused today. Half the adults tell them to find themselves; the other half tell them to get lost. ______________________________________________________ There are only two things a child will share willingly: communicable diseases and his mother's age. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Take Photo of Appliance Model/Serial Numbers Take a picture of your appliance and model /serial numbers and use it as your profile picture for the customer service number in your contact list on your cell phone. Now when I need to call for service or troubleshooting all the information is right at my fingertips! Saved me so much time and so less frustrating. By Michele R. [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Picture this: A Santa Clara County Department of Correction bus is heading for Civic Center after transporting inmates to Elmwood Correctional Facility. All of a sudden, the driver notices he's being followed. Odd, he thinks. It's even more odd when he drives the bus down the intake ramp into the main jail and two vehicles -- a pickup truck and a minivan -- continue to follow right behind. The gates slam shut, officers question the occupants of the two vehicles and the reason for the follow-the-leader routine finally becomes clear. There's been a bit of drinking going on, and the guys think the bus is a greyhound and figure it will lead them to its depot and the restrooms they so desperately need. They get a rest, all right. The pickup driver is arrested for drunken driving. The minivan driver is cited for driving with a suspended license. Their vehicles are impounded. And correction officers are bemused. ``We at DOC have heard of self- surrender, but this is ridiculous,'' says department spokesman Mark Cursi. ``We're now wondering if folks can take the next step: self-booking.'' _____________________________________________________ In the middle of World War II, a draftee goes in for his physical wearing a truss, and with a little convincing acting, gets his papers marked M.E. for Medically Exempt. Not long after, a friend gets his orders to report for a physical, and he borrows the other fellow's truss. At the end of the examination, the doctor stamped M.E. on his papers. "Does that mean I'm medically exempt?" he asked. "No," the examining doctor says. "M.E. stands for Middle East. Anyone who can wear a truss upside-down can certainly ride a camel." ____________________________________________________
This guy created an incredible metal 'wood grain' ring.

Today in 
1453 Constantinople fell to Ottoman Sultan Mehmed II, 
 ending the Byzantine Empire. 
1660 Charles II was restored to the English throne after 
 the Puritan Commonwealth. 
1765 Patrick Henry denounced the Stamp Act before 
 Virginia's House of Burgesses. 
1849 A patent for lifting vessels was granted to 
 Abraham Lincoln. 
1910 An airplane raced a train from Albany, NY, to 
 New York City. The airplane pilot Glenn Curtiss won 
 the $10,000 prize. 
1912 Fifteen women were dismissed from their jobs at the 
 Curtis Publishing Company in Philadelphia, PA, for 
 dancing the Turkey Trot while on the job. 
1916 U.S. forces invaded Dominican Republic and remained 
 until 1924. 
1922 Ecuador became independent. 
1932 World War I veterans began arriving in Washington, DC. 
 to demand cash bonuses they were not scheduled to receive 
 for another 13 years. 
1951 C.F. Blair became the first man to fly over the North 
 Pole in single engine plane. 
1953 Edmund Hillary and Sherpa Tenzing Norgay became first 
 men to reach the top of Mount Everest. 
1974 U.S. President Nixon agreed to turn over 1,200 pages 
 of edited Watergate transcripts. 
1985 Thirty-nine people were killed and 400 were injured 
 in a riot at a European Cup soccer match in Brussels, Belgium. 
1986 Colonel Oliver North told National Security Advisor 
 William McFarlane that profits from weapons sold to Iran 
 were being diverted to the Contras. 
1990 Boris Yeltsin was elected president of the Russian 
republic by the Russian parliament. 
1999 Space shuttle Discovery completed the first docking with 
 the International Space Station. 
2000 Fiji's military took control of the nation and declared 
 martial law following a coup attempt by indigenous Fijians 
 in mid-May. 
2001 In New York, four followers of Osama bin Laden were 
 convicted of a global conspiracy to murder Americans. The 
 crimes included the 1998 bombings of two U.S. embassies 
 in Africa that killed 224 people. 
2001 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that disabled golfer Casey 
 Martin could use a cart to ride in tournaments.
2015  smiled.

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