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Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, June 1

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
Indiana Woman stabbed hostess
in bbq argument over last rib
Details at Boneheads

Today in

More of what happened on this day in history at History
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If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. --- Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955) ______________________________________________________ A couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the husband replied, "In-laws." ______________________________________________________ When Jerry's daughter, Dani, was about 5 years old, she was thoroughly impressing her grandparents with her knowledge of insects while they were out for a walk. She readily identified ants, grasshoppers, crickets, ladybugs and such. When they happened upon a small beetle she did not immediately recognize, she looked at it thoughtfully, raised her foot and stomped it into oblivion on the sidewalk. 'That one', she said, 'is a Squashed Bug.' ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture Aescher Hotel, Appenzell, Switzerland Yes, you can sit on the deck to cool off. It's quite a hike to get up there.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Thanks to Walter, the THE Stonecarver for reporting this Bonehead An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Sabrina A. Davis, 45, MUNCIE, Indiana
Indiana Woman stabbed hostess in bbq argument over last rib A beef over barbecue ribs led to a one woman stabbing another woman in the eye with a fork. Sabrina A. Davis, 45, was arrested Sunday night after allegedly stabbing another woman, who complained that Davis had taken the last rib, the Muncie StarPress reports. Witnesses told police that the victim was the daughter of the woman throwing the party. The victim allegedly confronted Davis about taking so much food from the house. Davis allegedly responded by plunging a serving fork into the woman's eye, which caused at least two small lacerations on the left eye, according to the Indianapolis Star. The victim's eyes were “swollen and bloodshot.” The suspect told police she acted in self-defense because the hostess was waving a knife in her face, according to the Metro. Davis has been charged with criminal recklessness. She remains in the Delaware County jail on $5,000 bond. She has previously been convicted of theft and conversion, according to the Muncie StarPress.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Bill Re: WORD stopped loading Dear Webby I am running Windows7 & lately my Word program has stopped loading. Can you help? Bill M Dear Bill Find the Setup file, and copy it to a safe place, preferably onto a CD. Then run the Setup again and overwrite the current installation. Sometimes that works. If it doesn't, UNinstall it from the Control panel, copy the secretly saved copy of the setup file back onto the C: drive, and run setup from there. If that doesn't help, then you have to download a fresh copy from Microsoft. Hopefully that won't be necessary. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A person with "lightly colored hair" had an older Porsche 911 with the engine in the rear. While driving down the road one day the car stalled and died. The person got out, went to the front of the car, lifted the hood and discovered the engine missing. Pretty soon a "similar person" who also happened to have a Porsche stopped to see if they could help. They asked, "What's the problem?" The first one replied, "I don't know. But somewhere along the road I lost my engine. It must have just fallen out." "Oh well," said the second, "You can borrow one from me, I have a spare in the back trunk." ______________________________________________________ A customer in a bakery was observed carefully examining all the rich-looking pastries displayed on trays in the glass cases. When a clerk approached him and asked, "What would you like?" he answered, "I'd like that chocolate-covered, cream-filled doughnut, that jelly-filled doughnut and that cheese Danish." Then with a sigh he added, "But I'll take an oat-bran muffin." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Chocolate Avocado Pudding Yes, you read it right, chocolate avocado pudding! Before you say strange, you just have to try this. It is honestly the best pudding I have ever had. I am a die hard chocolate lover and this passed my test. Best of all, it is super good for you! Approximate Time: 10 minutes Yield: 4 servings Ingredients: 1 ripe avocado, peeled and pit removed 3/4 cup vanilla almond milk 4 Tbsp cocoa 10 pitted dates 1/2 tsp almond extract Steps: Add all of your ingredients to a food processor or heavy duty blender. Mix well. Prepare to say yum with no guilt involved. :) Source: Modified from a recipe in one of my cookbooks. By melissa [135] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A couple just started their Lamaze class and they were given an activity requiring the husband to wear a bag of sand - to give him an idea of what it feels like to be pregnant. The husband stood up and shrugged saying, "This doesn't feel so bad." The instructor then dropped a pen and asked the husband to pick it up. "You want me to pick up the pen as if I were pregnant, the way my wife would do it?" the husband asked. "Exactly," replied the instructor. To the delight of the other husbands, he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, pick up that pen for me." _____________________________________________________ The Nurse was taking Joe's blood pressure. She caused him some concern by rechecking it twice, then saying, "Hmmmm. That's odd -- it's normal." He replied that he had taken his high blood pressure medicine less than an hour ago. She said, "Thank goodness. I thought I was losing it. Normally when I take the men's BP readings they're always on the high side." ____________________________________________________
Exquisite artworks carved from Jade

Today in 
1533 Anne Boleyn, Henry VIII’s new queen, was crowned.
1774 The British government ordered the Port of Boston closed. 
1861 The first skirmish of the U.S. Civil War took place at 
 the Fairfax Court House, Virginia. 
1869 Thomas Edison received a patent for his electric 
 voting machine. 
1877 U.S. troops were authorized to pursue bandits into Mexico. 
1921 A race riot erupted in Tulsa, OKlahoma. 85 people 
 were killed. 
1935 The Ingersoll-Waterbury Company reported that it had 
 produced 2.5 million Mickey Mouse watches during its 2-year 
 association with Disney. 
1938 Baseball helmets were worn for the first time. 
1939 The Douglas DC-4 made its first passenger flight from 
 Chicago to New York. 
1941 The German Army completed the capture of Crete as the 
 Allied evacuation ended. 
1942 The U.S. began sending Lend-Lease materials to the 
 Soviet Union. 
1943 During World War II, Germans shot down a civilian 
 flight from Lisbon to London. 
1944 The French resistance was warned by a coded message 
 from the British that the D-Day invasion was imminent. 
1944 Siesta was abolished by the government of Mexico. 
1954 In the Peanuts comic strip, Linus' security blanket 
 made its debut. 
1958 Charles de Gaulle became the premier of France. 

1961 Radio listeners in New York, California, and Illinois 
 were introduced to FM multiplex stereo broadcasting. A 
 year later the FCC made this a standard. 
1963 Governor George Wallace vowed to defy an injunction 
 that ordered the integration of the University of Alabama. 
1970 Rhodesia became Zimbabwe. 
1977 The Soviet Union formally charged Jewish human rights 
 activist Anatoly Shcharansky with treason. He was imprisoned 
 until 1986. 
1978 The U.S. reported the finding of wiretaps in the American 
 embassy in Moscow. 
1980 Cable News Network (CNN) made its debut as the first 
 all-news station. 
1998 In the U.S., the FDA approved a urine-only test for the 
 AIDS virus. 
1998 A $124 million suit was brought against Goodyear Tire 
 & Rubber that alleged discrimination towards black workers. 
2008 The Phoenix Mars Lander became the first NASA spacecraft 
 to scoop Martian soil. 
2009 General Motors filed for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy. The filing 
 made GM the largest U.S. industrial company to enter 
 bankruptcy protection.
2015  smiled.


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