How to manage the icons on your task bar 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, June 6

Have FUN!

Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Chicago drug dealer, who chewed off cop car 
seat belt to attend son's Birthday Party
Details at Boneheads

Today in
1882 The first electric iron was patented by H.W. Seely. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
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The more things a man is ashamed of, the more respectable he is. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) ______________________________________________________ A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the after life. The woman's biggest fear was that there was no heaven. After a long life the husband was the first to go and true to his word he made contact. "Mary... Mary.... " "Is that you Fred?" "Yes, I have come back like we agreed." "What is it like?" "Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex, I have breakfast, I have sex, I bathe in the sun, then I have sex, I have lunch, then sex pretty much all afternoon, supper, then sex till late at night, sleep then start all over again." "Oh Fred you surely must be in heaven." "Well no, I'm a rabbit in a pen Kansas." ______________________________________________________ A married couple was celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary. At the party everybody wanted to know how they managed to stay married so long in this day and age. The husband responded "When we were first married we came to an agreement. I would make all the major decisions and my wife would make all the minor decisions. And in 60 years of marriage we have never needed to make a major decision." ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture Japanese MapleTree
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Lashon Stuckey, 33, Chicago, Illinois
Drug dealer chews off cop car seat belt trying to attend son's birthday party It must have been some party. A Chicago man arrested on drug charges allegedly chewed off the seat belt in a cop car because he didn't want to miss his son's birthday party, according to NBC Chicago. He didn't make it. Lashon Stuckey, 33, was arrested Monday afternoon after police say they saw him selling $30 worth of heroin on a street on the city's Near West side, reports. Police found several other bags of heroin in his possession. Stuckey was placed in a squad car and taken to a nearby station. During the brief drive, the suspect managed to chew through his seat belt, causing several hundred dollars worth of damage, according to Officers said Stuckey told them he didn't want to miss his son's birthday party, according to Illinois Patch. As heartwarming as the excuse might sound, it didn't fly. Stuckey was charged with two counts of possession of a controlled substance and one count of criminal damage to property. Stuckey remains stuck in jail in lieu of $75,000.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Daniel Re: Taskbar management don't leave us hanging,how do you get into taskbar managment? daniel Hi Daniel You can right-click an empty spot in the task bar, and select Properties In there hit the CUSTOMIZE button. In that you can customize all task bar icons and their behavior. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ 74 year old Harold tripped on the stairs and broke his leg. The doctor put a cast on it and warned that he wasn't to use the stairs until the cast came off. A month later he removed the cast and pronounced him well on the way to recovery. "Oh good," he responded. "Is it all right for me to walk the stairs now?" "Yes," said the doctor, "if you will promise to be careful." "I can't tell you what a relief it will be," Harold sighed. "It was such a nuisance crawling outside and shinnying up and down that drainpipe every time I had to go to the bathroom!" ______________________________________________________ Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? A: With any luck, soon after he finishes college. Q: Should I have a baby after 35? A. No, 35 children is enough. Q: The more pregnant I get the more often strangers smile at me. Why? A: 'Cause you're fatter than they are. _____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Deterring Pests Around Hummingbird Feeders I have had a lot of problems with yellow jackets, ants, and paper wasps around my hummingbird feeder. To solve this problem I took a strip of cotton and sprayed it with Raid Hornet and Wasp spray. You only want to dampen the cotton. Then I enclosed it in an onion bag, those mesh or net bags onions come in. I tied both ends shut. Then I tied it onto the hanger and twirled in around so it came down the one side short of the feeder holes. This has worked like a charm and the hummers do not have any problems feeding. *Be sure the cotton is damp and NOT drippy! By JunieB [3] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ The little boy was caught swearing by his teacher. "Billy," she said, "you shouldn't use that kind of language. Where did you hear it?" "My daddy said it," he responded. "Well, that doesn't matter," she explained, "I don't want to hear that language in here again." After a moment, she whispered aloud, "At least he doesn't know what it means." "I do, too," Billy corrected. "It means the car won't start." _____________________________________________________ One day God and Adam were walking the garden. God told Adam that it was time to populate the Earth. "Adam, you can start by kissing Eve." "Lord, what is a kiss?" asked Adam. God explained, and then Adam took Eve behind the bush and kissed her. A little while later, Adam returned with a big smile and said, "Lord! That was great! What's next?" "Adam, I now want you to caress Eve." "Lord, what is caress?" asked Adam. God explained, and then Adam took Eve behind the bush and caressed her. A little while later, Adam returned with a big smile and said, "Lord that was even better than a kiss! What's next?" "Here is what gets the deed done. I now want you to make love to Eve." "Lord, what is make love?" asked Adam. God explained, and then Adam took Eve behind the bush. A few seconds later, Adam returned and asked, "Lord, what is a headache?" ____________________________________________________
Vintage Movie Theatre Etiquette Posters

Today in 
1674 Sivaji crowned himself King of India. 
1813 The U.S. invasion of Canada was halted at Stony Creek, 
1882 The first electric iron was patented by H.W. Seely. 
1924 The German Reichtag accepted the Dawes Plan. It was an 
 American plan to help Germany pay off its war debts. 
1925 Chrysler Corporation was founded by Walter P. Chrysler. 
1932 In the U.S., the first federal tax on gasoline went 
 into effect. It was a penny per gallon. 
1933 In Camden, NJ, the first drive-in movie theater opened. 
1936 The first helicopter was tested in a building in Berlin, 
1941 The U.S. government authorized the seizure of foreign 
 ships in U.S. ports. 
1942 The first nylon parachute jump was made by Adeline Gray 
 in Hartford, CT. 
1942 Japanese forces retreated in the World War II Battle of 
 Midway. The battle had begun on June 4. 
1944 The D-Day invasion of Europe took place on the beaches 
 of Normandy, France. 400,000 Allied American, British and 
 Canadian troops were involved. 
1968 U.S. Senator Robert F. Kennedy died at 1:44am in Los 
 Angeles after being shot by Sirhan Sirhan. Kennedy was was 
 shot the evening before while campaigning for the Democratic 
 presidential nomination. 
1982 Israel invaded southern Lebanon in an effort to drive PLO 
 guerrillas out of Beirut. 
1985 The body of Nazi war criminal Dr. Josef Mengele was 
 located and exhumed near Sao Paolo, Brazil. Mengele was known 
 as the "Angel of Death." 
1985 The U.S. Senate authorized nonmilitary aid to the Contras. 
 The vote authorized $38 million over two years. 
1993 Mongolia held its first direct presidential elections. 
2005 The United States Supreme Court ruled that federal 
 authorities could prosecute sick people who smoke marijuana 
 on doctor's orders. The ruling concluded that state medical 
 marijuana laws did not protect uses from the federal ban 
 on the drug.
2015  smiled.

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