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Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, June 8

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Ex-girlfriend's mom hired hit-man to 
have man killed and fed to alligators 
Details at Boneheads

Today in
0452 Italy was invaded by Attila the Hun. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
All science is either physics or stamp collecting. --- Ernest Rutherford (1871 - 1937) "Old people love to give good advice; it compensates them for their inability to set a bad example." --- Duc de La Rochefoucald No one appreciates the value of constructive criticism more thoroughly than the one who's giving it. --- Hal Chadwick "There are well-dressed foolish ideas just as there are well- dressed fools." --- Nicolas Chamfort ______________________________________________________ Matt went into Doc Steven's office for his annual checkup, and the Doc asked if there was anything unusual he should know about. That left it pretty wide open, so he told the Doc that he found it real strange how his suit must've shrunk just sittin' in his closet, because it didn't fit when he went to get ready for a wedding recently. The Doc said, "Suits don't shrink just sittin' there. You probably just put on a few pounds, Matt." "That's just it, Doc, I know I haven't gained a single pound since the last time I wore it." "Well, then," said Doc, "You must have a case of Furniture Disease." "What in the world is Furniture Disease?" Matt asked. "Furniture Disease, Matt, is when you reach that stage in life when your chest starts slidin' down into your drawers." ______________________________________________________ Little Tommy had been to a birthday party at a friends house. Knowing his sweet tooth Tommy's mother looked straight into his eyes and said, "I hope you didn't ask for a second piece of cake." "No," replied Tommy, "but I asked Mrs. Smith for the recipe so you could make some just as good, and she gave me two more pieces without me having to ask." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Lillemor for send ing this thicture: Click through for the big picture From Mikels patio. Hillsboro Beach,FL -- Lillemor
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Melisa Rae Schonfield, 57, Brownville, New York
Ex-girlfriend's mom hired hit-man to have him killed and fed to alligators A man whose ex-girlfriend's mom is accused of hiring a hit man to kill him and feed his body to alligators said he can't understand why he was targeted. "It's just f--ked up," Ernesto Negrillo, 36, of Florida, told The Huffington Post in an exclusive interview Monday. "I don't know why she would want to kill me. I haven't spoken to her in a long time." Melisa Rae Schonfield, a 57-year-old social worker from Brownville, New York, was arrested Friday and charged with second-degree conspiracy and second-degree criminal solicitation after police said she made a down payment to an undercover investigator she thought was a hired killer. Schonfield is the mother of Negrillo's ex-girlfriend, Alexis Schonfield, with whom Negrillo has a child. Negrillo said his relationship with Alexis Schonfield ended in November 2012, when their son was 4 months old. He said he remained in Florida and Alexis Schonfield went with their son to live with her parents in New York. Negrillo said he's had no recent issues with anyone in the family. "I wasn’t fighting" for custody, he said. "It was already settled." As for the murder plot, he said, "I have no idea why. I can't believe she went this far." Alexis Schonfield, 31, told HuffPost she was stunned by her mom's arrest. "The only thing I can say, because I am a mother, is she was trying to protect my son and she got tired of watching me cry," Schonfield said. "I've been an emotional basket case the past two years." She said she learned of her mother's arrest on Facebook. "I had no idea what was going on," Schonfield said. "I thought she was going to go visit her friends in Rochester over the weekend. When I found out, I was in shock." Schonfield said her "on and off again"relationship with Negrillo was volatile. "I think emotional and verbal domestic abuse is a big joke to people ... [but] it's just as bad as physical violence," she said. "It's just that the scars are not visible." Negrillo denied the relationship was abusive. "I think all they wanted was a grandson," Negrillo said of the Schonfields. "They got one from me and then they left." A tipster alerted authorities last week that Melisa Schonfield was looking for a hit man, according to the Jefferson County Sheriff's Department. "We got a tip from a concerned citizen," Detective Dave Pustizzi told HuffPost. Pustizzi said an undercover detective posing as a hit man met with Melisa Schonfield Friday morning. Court documents say the meeting occurred at a Walmart parking lot in Watertown. During the meeting, Schonfield agreed to pay the undercover detective $11,000 for the killing, according to police. She suggested the best way to dispose of the body would be to "throw it to the alligators," police said. She told the supposed contract killer that her husband, a Watertown dentist, was aware of what she was doing and "even made a smart remark about her getting caught," according to the court documents. Melisa Schonfield was taken into custody after giving the undercover officer a $5,500 down payment, police said. She was arraigned in Watertown City Court and was jailed for the weekend. She was freed from Jefferson County Jail Monday afternoon after someone posted $500,000 bond, according to Fox station WNYF. Authorities haven't revealed a motive. Contacted by HuffPost Monday, Robert Schonfield said in an email that he had "no comment" on the circumstances surrounding the arrest of his wife. Neither he nor Alexis Schonfield have been implicated in the alleged murder plot. Negrillo said he's grateful to police. "God really looked out for me," he said. "He really did." As for Melisa Schonfield, Negrillo said he feels sorry for her. "It didn't have to go this way -- she didn't have to do what she did," he said. "She ruined her reputation and now there's no grandma in the picture for my son. I feel bad."
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Leann Re: W10 now? I just wondered what you think about Windows 10. I have 2 computers with Windows 7 and one with Windows 8.1. I'm not sure I want to change any of them. Your thoughts please. Thanks Webby, Leann Dear Leann WHY change? There is absolutely no reason to hurry with changing. Wait a year for 10.1, and let them fix the worst of the bugs. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Mother: "Why are you home from school so early?" Son: "I was the only one who could answer a question." Mother: "Oh, really? What was the question?" Son: "Who threw the tomato at the teacher?" ______________________________________________________ A redneck boy came home from class and his redneck father asked, "What did you learn in algebra class today, son?" "Well, I learned Pi R Square," replied the boy. "Now, hold on there son," he quickly replied, "you may think I am stupid, but everybody knows that pie are round." _________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Lazy Cake It was super late, when the kiddos and I had a sweet tooth. I was tired and feeling lazy, thus the name. I wanted something super easy and quick, but we were out of everything. I had a cake mix, chocolate chips and pumpkin. Not even any eggs! I have to say this turned out even better than if I had made it the usual way. You actually don't really taste the pumpkin, but it made the cake extremely moist without any oil. We poured some milk over the top and voila! Our lazy cake was awesome. Hope you try it. I think you'll like it.:) Approximate Time: A few minutes prep Yield: 13" by 9" pan Ingredients: 1 box (16.5 oz) devil's food cake mix 1 bag (12 oz) semi-sweet chocolate chips 1 can (15 oz) pumpkin puree 1 cup water Steps: Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Add your cake mix, pumpkin and water to a large bowl. Mix well. Fold in your chocolate chips. Spread into a greased 13" by 9" baking dish. Bake at 350 degrees F for about 30 minutes. Pour milk over a piece and enjoy! Source: Self By melissa [143] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Two men were talking. "My son asked me what I did during the Sexual Revolution," said one. "I told him I was captured early and spent the duration doing the dishes. _____________________________________________________ >From Clarence The other day I needed to call home from downtown, but the only pay phone I could find was in use. So I stood to the side to politely wait until it was free, thinking it would only be a couple of minutes. Five minutes went by, and still the man was on the phone. He was just standing there, not saying a word. Two minutes later, he was still not talking. Finally, I tapped him on the shoulder and asked if I could use the phone. I really wouldn't be long, but needed to make an important call. "Hold your horses," he responded, covering the receiver. "I'm talking to my wife." ____________________________________________________
All I can say is......WOW!

Today in 
0452 Italy was invaded by Attila the Hun. 
0793 The Vikings raided the Northumbrian coast of England. 
1786 In New York City, commercially manufactured ice cream 
 was advertised for the first time. 
1790 The first loan for the U.S. was repaid. The Temporary 
 Loan of 1789 was negotiated and secured on September 18, 
 1789 by Alexander Hamilton. 
1866 Prussia annexed the region of Holstein. 
1869 Ives W. McGaffey received a U.S. patent for the 
 suction vacuum cleaner. 
1904 U.S. Marines landed in Tangiers, Morocco, to protect 
 U.S. citizens. 
1915 U.S. Secretary of State William Jennings Bryan resigned 
 in a disagreement over U.S. handling of the sinking of the 
 Lusitania. 
1953 The U.S. Supreme Court outlawed segregated restaurants 
 in Washington, DC. 
1965 U.S. troops in South Vietnam were given orders to begin 
 fighting offensively. 
1967 Israeli airplanes attacked the USS Liberty in the 
 Mediterranean during the 6-Day War between Israel and its 
 Arab neighbors. 34 U.S. Navy crewmen were killed. Israel 
 later called the incident a tragic mistake due to the 
 mis-identification of the ship. The U.S. has never publicly 
 investigated the incident. 
1969 U.S. President Richard Nixon met with President Thieu 
 of South Vietnam to tell him 25,000 U.S. troops would pull 
 out by August. 
1978 A jury in Clark County, Nevada, ruled that the 
 "Mormon will" was a forgery. The work was supposedly written 
 by Howard Hughes. 
1987 Fawn Hill began testifying in the Iran-Contra hearings. 
 She said that she had helped to shred some documents. 
1991 A victory parade was held in Washington, DC, to honor 
 veterans of the Persian Gulf War. 
1996 China set off an underground nuclear test blast. 
1998 Honda agreed to pay $17.1 million for disconnecting 
 anti-pollution devices in 1.6 million cars. 
1998 The space shuttle Discovery pulled away from Mir, ending 
 America's three-year partnership with Russia. 
2004 Nate Olive and Sarah Jones began the first known continuous hike 
 of the 1,800-mile trail down the U.S. Pacific Coast. They completed 
 the trek at the U.S.-Mexico border on September 28.
2015  smiled.


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