Free zip program 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, June 19
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

>From Michael
Hi DearWebby,
Very cool. I’ve never even heard of beard-seconds!
Another very useful tip if you travel much: To find out 
up-to-the-second flight departure/arrival times, 
terminal/gate, delays, etc., just type the airline 
abbreviation and flight number (no spaces) into Google. 
For example, for American Airlines flight 234 use AA234. 
If you’re not sure of the airline abbreviation, just use 
the airline name, like Delta234. Much handier than trying 
to use each airline’s site, especially from my smartphone 
as I’m waiting for someone at the airport.

Thanks, Michael!

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Pennsylvania man, who robbed bank using sex toy disguised as bomb Details at Boneheads Today in 0240 BC Eratosthenes estimated the circumference of the Earth using two sticks. He got very close! More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Let's have some new cliches. --- Samuel Goldwyn (1882 - 1974) --- If your parents never had children, chances are you won't, either. -- Dick Cavett ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Sherlock Holmes : "Ah Watson, I see you have on your winter underwear." Watson : "Marvelous, Holmes, marvelous! How did you ever deduce that!" Sherlock Holmes : "Well, you've forgotten to put on your trousers." ______________________________________________________ A lunatic is sitting in his cell playing solitaire. Another patient, who has been watching, suddenly cries, "Wait a minute! I just caught you cheating yourself." The first man puts his finger to his lips. "Shhh," he whispers. "Don't tell anybody, but I've been cheating myself at solitaire for years." "You don't say," says his surprised pal. "Don't you ever catch yourself cheating?" The first man shakes his head. "Naw," he says proudly. "I'm much too clever." ______________________________________________________ Click through to the big picture ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Aaron Stein, 35, Crafton, Pennsylvania
Man Robs Bank Using Sex Toy Disguised As Bomb A Pennsylvania man accused of using a bomb to rob a bank Monday afternoon says his weapon of choice was actually just a vibrator wrapped in duct tape. Aaron Stein, 35, allegedly robbed a PNC Bank in Crafton by telling employees he was carrying an explosive device. “He stated he had a bomb, showed the teller wires hanging out from his shirt and demanded cash,” Crafton Police Chief Mark Sumpter told Police said the teller gave Stein an undisclosed amount of cash, but called 911 after he fled. Stein was arrested after Robinson Township Officer Mike Gastgeb spotted his white Toyota sedan along the road. “I noticed a white Toyota Corolla with a male in it, sitting in this parking lot over here,” Gastgeb told CBS Pittsburgh. “I went over to confront him, he drove away, I stopped him.” Another officer on the scene found money in a garbage bag inside Stein's car. Beneath the front passenger seat, officers found the "bomb" Stein is accused of using. Sumpter said it was made out of "a box, black tape, vibrator and cellphone," according to NBC News. Police say Stein confessed to the robbery and claimed he never had a real bomb. Nevertheless, a bomb squad was called to the scene and robots removed items from the car. A briefcase was found in the trunk but no explosives were found, according to CBS News. Stein also told officers “that he lost all of his money in the stock market last week and that he was desperate,” reports. Stein was charged on nine felony counts including aggravated assault, robbery, threatening to use a weapon of mass destruction. Because he allegedly pretended a sex toy was a bomb, he is also being charged with possessing a facsimile weapon of mass destruction. A preliminary hearing will be held June 25 in Allegheny County Magisterial District Court
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Steve Re: Free Zip program Dear Webby, is there a free program to open zip files? i will not be held hostage into buying win-zip. thank you for a fine newsletter & all the information. steve j Dear Steve 7zip seems to work quite well. They claim it compresses files better than WinZip. Have Fun! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ "Practice Safe Food -- Use Condiments" ______________________________________________________ In his Sunday sermon the preacher used "Forgive Your Enemies" as his subject. After a much too long sermon, he asked how many were willing to forgive their enemies. With thoughts of awaiting Sunday dinners all responded except one old woman in the rear. "Mrs. Jones, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?" "I don't have any." "Mrs. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?" "Eighty-six" "Mrs. Jones, please come down in front and tell this congregation how a woman can live to eighty-six and not have an enemy in the world." The old woman teetered down the aisle and slowly turned around and said "It's easy. I just outlived the sons of bees." _________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Mix Beef, Pork and Veal for Best Meatloaf Everyone has their own old fashioned meatloaf recipe, usually handed down in the family. I know my mom taught me how to make my first meatloaf. I read somewhere that you can ask the butcher at your local supermarket to make up a 2 pound package of: 1/3 ground beef, 1/3 ground pork and 1/3 ground veal. He mixes this together and gives it to you for the price of the ground beef. Add your own spices, egg, bread crumbs (I use Panko crumbs) and whatever else you like: onions, green pepper etc. This comes out to be the most unbelievable meatloaf I have ever eaten. I topped mine with a 1/4 can of diced tomatoes. I made a gravy from the drippings (no grease), made a roux with flour and water and 1 envelope of onion soup mix and water and the remaining can of diced tomatoes. Cook about 60-75 minutes on 325 degrees. Serve this with hot whipped potatoes! Yummy! Source: Read an article in a magazine By Jackie H. [74] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ When a husband finally gave in and began to clean out his bureau, he discovered a bunch of socks that didn't match. As his wife looked at them, she noted that most of them had holes in them. "Land's sakes, man !" she exclaimed. "How long have you had these things?" "Since before we were married," he admitted. "I guess you could say that I had a lot of premarital socks!" _____________________________________________________ "What happened?" asked the hospital visitor to the heavily bandaged man sitting up in bed. "Well, I went down to Busch Gardens on vacation and decided to take a ride on the Loch Ness Monster... As we came up to the top of the highest loop, I noticed a little sign by the side of the track. I tried to read it but it was very small and I couldn't make it out. I was so curious that I decided to go round again, but we went by so quickly that I couldn't see what the sign said. By now, I was determined to read that sign so I went round a third time. As we reached the top, I stood up in the car to get a better view." "And did you manage to see what the sign said this time?" asked the visitor. "Yes," he said sheepishly, "Remain seated at all times!" ____________________________________________________
People are awesome!

Today in 
0240 BC Eratosthenes estimated the circumference of the Earth 
 using two sticks. He got very close!
1821 The Ottomans defeated the Greeks at the Battle of Dragasani. 
1864 The USS Kearsarge sank the CSS Alabama off of Cherbourg, 
1903 The young school teacher, Benito Mussolini, was placed 
 under investigation by police in Bern, Switzerland. 
1910 The first Father's Day was celebrated in Spokane, Washington. 
1911 In Pennsylvania, the first motion-picture censorship board 
 was established. 
1912 The U.S. government established the 8-hour work day. 
1917 During World War I, King George V ordered the British royal 
 family to dispense with German titles and surnames. 
1933 France granted Leon Trotsky political asylum. 
1937 The town of Bilbao, Spain, fell to the Nationalist forces. 
1939 In Atlanta, GA, legislation was enacted that disallowed 
 pinball machines in the city. 
1942 Norma Jeane Mortenson (Marilyn Monroe) and her 21-year-old 
 neighbor Jimmy Dougherty were married. They were divorced in 
 June of 1946. 
1942 British Prime Minister Winston Churchill arrived in 
 Washington, DC, to discuss the invasion of North Africa with 
 U.S. President Roosevelt. 
1943 Henry Kissinger became a naturalized United States citizen. 
1944 The U.S. won the battle of the Philippine Sea against the 
 Imperial Japanese fleet. 
1961 Kuwait regained complete independence from Britain. 
1965 Air Marshall Nguyen Cao Ky became South Vietnam's youngest 
 premier at age 34. 
1973 The Case-Church Amendment prevented further U.S. involvement 
 in Southeast Asia. 
1973 Gordie Howe left the NHL to join his sons Mark and 
 Marty in the WHA (World Hockey League). 
1981 The European Space Agency sent two satellites into orbit 
 from Kourou, French Guiana. 
1983 Lixian-nian was chosen to be China's first president 
 since 1969. 
1987 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down the Louisiana law that 
 required that schools teach creationism. 
1998 Gateway was fined more than $400,000 for illegally 
 shipping personal computers to 16 countries subject to U.S. 
 export controls. 
1998 Switzerland's three largest banks offered $600 million 
 to settle claims they'd stolen the assets of Holocaust 
 victims during World War II. Jewish leaders called the offer 
 insultingly low. 
2000 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that a group prayer led by 
 students at public-school football games violated the 
 1st Amendment's principle that called for the separation 
 of church and state. 
2015  smiled.

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