Blue Parrot Fish 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, June 26
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

Thank you, Jospeh

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Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Indiana toad licker locked up on trespass charge Details at Boneheads Today in 1959 U.S. President Eisenhower joined Britain's Queen Elizabeth II in ceremonies officially opening the St. Lawrence Seaway. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Thank God men cannot as yet fly and lay waste the sky as well as the earth! --- Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From RoseAnn DearWebby, a few years ago you had a hilarious piece to send to people who pester you with chain letters. Can you send that again ? Thanks RoseAnn, Denver, CO Hi RoseAnn I saved it onto a web page that time, and it is still at Club ______________________________________________________ The old man was a witness in a burglary trial.The defense lawyer asks Sam, "Did you see my client commit this burglary?" "Yes," said Sam , "I saw him plainly take the goods." The lawyer asks Sam again, "Sam, this happened at night. Are you sure you saw my client commit this crime?" "Yes" says Sam, "I saw him do it." Then the lawyer asks Sam, "Sam listen, you are 80 years old and your eyesight probably is bad. Just how far can you see at night?" Sam says, "I can see the moon, how far is that?" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Lillemor for this picture: Click through to the big picture This Flounder weighed in at 102 kilograms 190 cm long. Tommie Johnsson,the fisherman felt 'wore out' for two days after the catch in Scandinavian waters. ______________________________________________________
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Richard Mullins, 41 La Porte, Indiana
Toad Licker Is Locked Up On Trespass Charge An Indiana man who was licking a toad while dancing by himself on an Indiana sidewalk is locked up after ignoring a trespass warning issued by cops, according to a police report. La Porte Police Department officers were called to a bar early Sunday morning when Richard Mullins, 41, refused to leave the property after being escorted outside by security. The barefoot Mullins would not provide bouncers with ID when he walked into JJ’s Side Out Bar & Grill, cops reported. After being steered out of the business--but before police arrived--Mullins began dancing in the bar’s parking lot. “The subject then reportedly picked up a toad and was licking it prior to our arrival,” Officer Vincent Bowman noted. When questioned by cops, Mullins had a “blank look on his face but no pupil dilation to suggest he was under the influence of any drugs.” Officers warned Mullins that if he returned to the bar’s property he would be arrested. Mullins seemed to understand the warning, Bowman wrote, “as when he was dancing he would walk right up to the property line that we pointed out and then walk back.” But a few minutes after receiving the trespass warning, Mullins returned to the bar’s parking lot. When police subsequently approached Mullins, “he was holding another toad.” Charged with misdemeanor trespassing, Mullins was booked into the La Porte County jail, where he is being held in advance of a June 30 court appearance. Since the police report does not identify what kind of toad Mullins was licking, it is impossible to determine the amphibian’s potential psychoactive properties or its toxicity.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Svend Re: Parrot fish I just don't buy it, Dear Webby, Svend >From Janice By Pat Cegan | Published September 2, 2012 | Full size is 700 Ă— 559 ... Less 700 x 559 49.6KB Not photoshopped Parrot Fish eating coral Found this guy just a munching away, he ignored me for most of the time I video'd him 00:23 3 years ago Janice Thanks, Janice! Have Fun! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ There were three men at a bar. One man got drunk and started a fight with the other two men. The police came and took the drunk guy to jail.The next day the man went before the judge. The judge asked the man, "Where do you work? " The man said, "Here and there." The judge asked the man, "What do you do for a living?" The man said, "This and that." The judge then said, "Take him away." The man said, "Wait, judge, when will I get out?" The judge said to the man, "Sooner or later..." ______________________________________________________ The Policeman recently stopped a woman for exceeding the posted speed limit. He asked the driver her name. She said, "I'm Mrs. Ladislav Abdulkhashim Zybkcicraznovskaya from the Republic of Uzbekistan visiting my daughter in Tallahassee." The cop put away his summons book and pen, and said, "Well... OK... but don't let me catch you speeding again." ------------ Reminds me of my student days. It was common knowledge there that nobody EVER got arrested while on Gymnasium Street. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Current Contest Contender! I liked the many suggestions for using paper towel and toilet paper rolls to make fire starters. My problem was that I didn't have a good way to stuff the rolls and pour or dip them in wax. Then I remembered my camp craft class where we made paper baskets (this was a looong time ago!). Cut paper towel rolls in thirds. Fold one end and make a cut about 3/4 inches through both layers. Open the fold up and fold again so that the cut ends are now on the edges. Make another cut about 3/4 inches and open up the fold. Fold the four cut edges so they cover each other (like a box). The paper roll can now stand up and be filled with dryer lint, sawdust, etc. Pour the melted wax into the open end. I also put these on a styrofoam tray (the kind meat comes on works well) and set my rolls up one against the other on the tray so that any wax that seeps through will pool on the tray and not make a mess of my work surface. By Joan C. [1] When I was living and travelling in the bush in the Yukon, I used to stuff a small ball of newspaper into one end of the roll, then fill the roll with crushed tiny, dry twigs from low on spruce trees, and the mossy "beards", and close the roll with another golf ball size ball of paper. When travelling by dogsled I used to put one roll inside my jacket, so that it was nice and warm and had no frost or snow powder on it. For lighting, I just pull out one of the end balls a bit and pull it partially apart, and light that. If there was no frost or windblown snow on the tiny dry branches at the bottom of trees and bushes, then of course I used those and saved the roll starter. Next time you venture beyond the patio and get to a forest, collect a gunny-sack full of the tiny, dry branches at the bottom of the trees. They light faster and burn hotter than waxed dryer lint or even navel lint. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Abdicate - v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. Esplanade - v., to attempt an explanation while drunk. Willy-nilly - adj., impotent. Flabbergasted - adj., appalled over how much weight you have gained. Negligent - adj., describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightie. Lymph - v. To walk with a lisp. Gargoyle-n., an olive-flavored mouthwash. Bustard - n., a very rude Metrobus driver. Coffee - n., a person who is coughed upon Flatulence - n., the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller. Balderdash - n., a rapidly receding hairline. Semantics - n., pranks conducted by young men studying for the priesthood, including such things as gluing the pages of the priest's prayer book together just before vespers. Rectitude - n., the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you. Marionettes - n., residents of Washington D.C. who have been jerked around by the mayor. Oyster - n., a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions. Circumvent - n., the opening in the front of boxer shorts. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of obtaining sex. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. Tatyr: A lecherous Mr. Potato Head. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the recipient who doesn't get it. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. Burglesque: A poorly planned break-in. (See: Watergate) Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like a serious bummer. Glibido: All talk and no action. _____________________________________________________ A man answers the phone and has the following conversation: "Yes, mother, I've had a hard day. Gladys has been most difficult - I know I ought to be more firm, but it is hard. Well, you know how she is. "Yes, I remember you warned me. I remember you told me that she was a vile creature who would make my life miserable and you begged me not to marry her. "You were perfectly right. "You want to speak with her? All right." He looks up from the telephone and calls to his wife in the next room: "Gladys, your mother wants to talk to you!" ____________________________________________________
All it takes is imagination and some work to turn these buses into rides too cool for school.

Today in 
1096 Peter the Hermit's crusaders forced their way across 
 Sava, Hungary. 
1243 The Seljuk Turkish army in Asia Minor was wiped 
 out by the Mongols. 
1483 Richard III usurped himself to the English throne. 
1794 The French defeated an Austrian army at the Battle 
 of Fleurus. 
1804 The Lewis and Clark Expedition reached the mouth of 
 the Kansas River after completing a westward trek of 
 nearly 400 river miles. 
1819 The bicycle was patented by W.K. Clarkson, Jr. 
1870 The first section of the boardwalk in Atlantic City, 
 NJ, was opened to the public. 
1894 The American Railway Union called a general strike 
 in sympathy with Pullman workers. 
1900 The United States announced that it would send troops 
 to fight against the Boxer rebellion in China. 
1900 A commission that included Dr. Walter Reed began the 
 fight against the deadly disease yellow fever. 
1907 Russia's nobility demanded drastic measures to be 
 taken against revolutionaries. 
1908 Shah Muhammad Ali's forces squelched the reform 
 elements of Parliament in Persia. 
1917 General John "Black Jack" Pershing arrived in France 
 with the American Expeditionary Force. 
1925 Charlie Chaplin's comedy "The Gold Rush" premiered 
 in Hollywood.
That was the only movie about the Yukon and Alaska, that
I had seen before immigrating and moving to the Yukon.
1924 After eight years of occupation, American troops 
 left the Dominican Republic. 
1936 The Focke-Wulf Fw 61 made its first flight. It is 
 often considered the first practical helicopter. 
1942 The Grumman F6F Hellcat fighter was flown for 
 the first time. 
1945 The U.N. Charter was signed by 50 nations in 
 San Francisco, CA. 
1948 The Berlin Airlift began as the U.S., Britain 
 and France started ferrying supplies to the isolated 
 western sector of Berlin. 
1951 The Soviet Union proposed a cease-fire in the 
 Korean War. 
1959 U.S. President Eisenhower joined Britain's 
 Queen Elizabeth II in ceremonies officially opening 
 the St. Lawrence Seaway. 
1961 A Kuwaiti vote opposed Iraq's annexation plans. 
1963 U.S. President John Kennedy announced "Ich bin 
 ein Berliner" (I am a Berliner) at the Berlin Wall. 
1971 The U.S. Justice Department issued a warrant for 
 Daniel Ellsberg, accusing him of giving away the 
 Pentagon Papers. 
1975 Indian Prime Minister Indira Gandhi declared a 
 state of emergency due to "deep and widespread conspiracy." 
1976 The CN (Canadian National) Tower in Toronto, Canada, 
1979 Muhammad Ali, at 37 years old, announced that he was 
 retiring from boxing. 
1981 In Mountain Home, Idaho, Virginia Campbell took her 
 coupons and rebates and bought $26,460 worth of groceries. 
 She only paid 67 cents after all the discounts. 
1996 The U.S. Supreme Court ordered the Virginia Military 
 Institute to admit women or forgo state support. 
1997 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down the Communications 
 Decency Act of 1996 that made it illegal to distribute 
 indecent material on the Internet. 
1997 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld state laws that allow 
 for a ban on doctor-assisted suicides. 
1998 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that employers are always 
 potentially liable for supervisor's sexual misconduct toward 
 an employee. 
2000 Indonesia's President Abdurrahman Wahid declared a state of emergency in the Moluccas due to the escalation of fighting between Christians and Muslims. 
2002 WorldCom Inc. filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection.
2015  smiled.

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