Is there a Laser for all computers? 

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Today is Sunday, July 5

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______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Texan jumped into bayou at night, with predictable results Alligator killed him. Details at Boneheads Today in 1865 William Booth founded the Salvation Army in London. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. --- Truman Capote (1924 - 1984) For every person who wants to teach there are approximately thirty people who don't want to learn--much. -- W. C. Sellar and R. J. Yeatman ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Gotta love them Southern boys. We visited Raleigh, NC, where a state cop stopped a drunken driver. While he was ticketing the man, there was a multi-car accident on the other side of the divided highway. The highway patrolman told the drunk to wait. The patrolman went across the highway to sort out the accident. After awhile the drunk figured he'd waited long enough and he drove on home and told his wife that if anybody asked she should say he had been in bed with the flu all day. Within the hour, two state patrolmen appeared at the home of the drunken driver and asked to see him. He came from the bedroom wrapped in a robe and coughing and wheezing. The patrolman asked if he'd been drinking that evening, and he said he'd been sick in bed. They apologized for bothering him and asked if they could take a look at his car. The drunk escorted them to the garage and inside was - a highway patrol car, the blue lights still flashing. ______________________________________________________ A shoplifter is caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. "Listen," says the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble. What do you say I just buy the watch and we forget about this?" The manager agrees, writes up the sales slip and hands it to the would-be thief. The crook looks at the slip and says, "This is a little more than I intended to spend. Can you show me something less expensive?" ______________________________________________________ Getty Images is hassling me, demanding an outrageous amount of money for using a picture, that has been posted to a public domain site over four years ago, without any indication, that somebody will demand payment AFTER it has been used. They demand more than I make of the Humor Letter in 3 years. I simply don't have that kind of money. If the Humor Letter suddenly stops, I'll be in jail. So no more pictures except for those taken by my dad or me, or taken and submitted by you. Instead, here is a random picture at Imgur. Random Picture at Imgur Random pictures are of course not carefully selected by me and could be awful, but theoretically should be family safe. ______________________________________________________
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Reported by Walter, the Stonecarver An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD AND a Darwin Award has been earned by Tommie Woodward, 28 Burkart's Marina, Texas
Man mocks alligators, jumps into the water and is killed A man who apparently mocked alligators, then jumped into the water -- despite warning signs -- is dead after being attacked in Texas. Orange County Police were called to Burkart's Marina near the Louisiana state line early Friday morning after reports that Tommie Woodward, 28, and an unidentified woman were swimming in a bayou and had been attacked by a large alligator. Woodward's body was found several hours later. The woman was not injured. Orange County Justice of the Peace Rodney Price told CNN affiliate KFDM that Woodward ignored verbal warnings and a posted "No Swimming Alligators" sign and seemed to mock the deadly creatures before going in the water. "He removed his shirt, removed his billfold ... someone shouted a warning and he said '@#$% the alligators' and jumped in to the water and almost immediately yelled for help," Price said. The "No Swimming Alligators" sign was posted this week after a 10-foot alligator was spotted in the bayou waters. Witness heard 'An alligator's got him' "Please do not go swimming, there's a bigger alligator out here. Just please stay out of the water," witness and marina employee Michelle Wright said she told Woodward. She said the next thing she heard was the woman screaming, "An alligator's got him." Wright said she used a flashlight in the darkness to scan the water. In an emotional interview with KFDM, Wright said, "I saw his body floating face down. And then he's out there for a couple of seconds and then he's dragged back down. And then he comes back up still face down and then he gets pulled down again. And then he just disappears." Wright, who said she knew the victim and his family, said it was a moment she would never forget. She described the events that started out as a late night swim as "heartbreaking." Woodward had recently moved to the area from St. Louis with his twin brother and was working at a nearby shipyard. 'If the sun is down, stay out of the water' Alligators are predatory and territorial. According to Texas Parks and Wildlife, the creature "will eat anything it can catch," and should be treated with caution. "If the sun is down, stay out the water. That's when they're eating. That's when they're hunting," alligator expert Arlie Hammonds told the affiliate. Although there have been numerous fatal alligator attacks in Florida, the Orange County attack may be the first of its kind in Texas.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Dani Re: Laser for all computers? Dear Webby I hope all is well with you. Will Laser Printers work with all computers? I have Window 7. Thanks, Dani Dear Dani Yes, they work with all computers and all operating sytems. A few Billion of them are used on Windows XP and W7 machines. A word of caution: Check the cost of replacement cartridges! For example, Staples sometimes sells a color laser printer for under $100, but expects you to pay $149 each for the 4 toner replacement cartridges. EACH. Drop THAT on their toes! Overall I found DELL to be a good and reliable deal for printers. They don't make them. They just sell them. Often they are the same machine as what Xerox sells, and use the same toner cartridges. Just different label on the machine. Have Fun! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A mother and father are talking about how to improve the behavior of their seemingly incorrigible son. "Maybe we should buy him a bike for his birthday," the mother suggests. "Do you really believe that will help improve his behavior?" her husband asks. "Well, no," she admits. "But it would spread the damage over a wider area." ______________________________________________________ Two young women -- best friends -- try to do everything together. One day, one announces that she is going to start a diet to lose the pounds she has recently gained. "Good," the other exclaims. "I'm ready to start a diet too. We can be dieting buddies and help each other out. And when I feel the urge to drive out and get a burger and fries, I'll call you first." "Great," the first woman replies. "I'll ride with you. Let's go to Burger King." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Key Hook from Binder Clip Keys hanging from a binder clip. I recently found some keys from my roommate's yard sale stash. I was looking around and found one of these wonderful binder clips on a shelf unit. I flipped up the top and voila', instant key hook. By Sandi/Poor But Proud ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50." The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100." The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon. And it takes eight people to collect all the money!" _____________________________________________________ One day, Little Johnny visited a doctor for a vaccination. After the doctor gave him an injection, he tried to bandage Little Johnny's arm. "I think you'd better bandage the other arm", said Little Johnny. "But, why? I'm supposed to bandage the injected part of your arm to let your friends know not to touch it." "Doc, you really don't have a clue about how those idiots behave!" ____________________________________________________
Great idea, wood pallet floors!

Today in 
1806 A Spanish army repelled the British during their attempt 
 to retake Buenos Aires, Argentina. 
1811 Venezuela became the first South American country to 
 declare independence from Spain. 
1830 France occupied the North African city of Algiers. 
1832 The German government began curtailing freedom of the 
 press after German Democrats advocate a revolt against 
 Austrian rule. 
1839 British naval forces bombarded Dingai on Zhoushan 
 Island in China and then occupied it. 
1863 U.S. Federal troops occupied Vicksburg, MS, and 
 distributed supplies to the citizens. 
1865 William Booth founded the Salvation Army in London. 
1865 The U.S. Secret Service Division was created to 
 combat currency counterfeiting, forging and the altering 
 of currency and securities.. 
1892 Andrew Beard was issued a patent for the rotary engine. 
1916 Adelina and August Van Buren started on the first 
 successful transcontinental motorcycle tour to be attempted 
 by two women. They started in New York City and arrived in 
 San Diego, CA, on September 12, 1916. 
1935 U.S. President Roosevelt signed the National Labor 
 Relations Act into law. The act authorized labor to organize 
 for the purpose of collective bargaining. 
1940 During World War II, Britain and the Vichy government 
 in France broke diplomatic relations. 
1941 German troops reached the Dnieper River in the Soviet Union. 
1943 The battle of Kursk began as German tanks attack the 
 Soviet salient. It was the largest tank battle in history. 
1946 The bikini bathing suit, created by Louis Reard, made 
 its debut during a fashion show at the Molitor Pool in Paris. 
 Micheline Bernardini wore the two-piece outfit. 
1950 U.S. forces engaged the North Koreans for the first time 
 at Osan, South Korea. 
1951 Dr. William Shockley announced that he had invented the 
 junction transistor. 
1962 Algeria became independent after 132 years of French rule. 
1984 The U.S. Supreme Court weakened the 70-year-old 
 "exclusionary rule," deciding that evidence seized with 
 defective court warrants could be used against defendants 
 in criminal trials. 
1991 Regulators shut down the Pakistani-managed Bank of Credit 
 and Commerce International (BCCI) in eight countries. The 
 charge was fraud, drug money laundering and illegal 
 infiltration into the U.S. banking system. 
1998 Japan joined U.S. and Russia in space exploration with 
 the launching of the Planet-B probe to Mars. 
2000 Jordanian security agents shot and killed a Syrian hijacker 
 after he threw a grenade that exploded and wounded 15 passengers 
 aboard a Royal Jordanian airliner. 
2000 Euan Blair, the oldest son of British prime minister 
 Tony Blair, was arrested after police found him drunk and 
 lying on the ground in London's Leicester Square. 
2015  smiled.

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