Printer for all machines 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, July 6

Have FUN!

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Texan admits he killed his wife to 'Stop her talking' Details at Boneheads Today in 1885 Louis Pasteur successfully tested his anti-rabies vaccine. The child used in the test later became the director of the Pasteur Institute. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles. --- Frank Lloyd Wright (1869 - 1959) Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. --- Maryon Pearson ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Just before our first long deployment, two Navy buddies and I were talking about the stress of leaving our families. A senior officer, a veteran of many deployments, overheard our conversation and offered the following advice: "You must be sensitive to your wives' emotional needs," he said. "Never, ever, whistle while you pack!" ______________________________________________________ A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger were unconscious and being attended to by an ambulance crew. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said, "I wish you could talk." The monkey looked up at the officer and nodded his head up and down. "You can understand what I'm saying?" asked the officer. Again, the monkey nodded his head up and down. "Well, did you see this?" "Yes," motioned the monkey. "What happened?" The monkey pretended to have a can in his hand and turned it up by his mouth. "They were drinking beer?" asked the officer. The monkey nods his head "Yes." "What else?" The monkey pinched his fingers together and held them to his mouth. "They were smoking marijuana?" The monkey nods his head "Yes." "What else?" The monkey motioned "kissing." "They were kissing, too?" asked the astounded officer. The monkey nods his head "Yes." "Now wait, you're saying your owners were drinking, smoking and kissing before they wrecked." The monkey nods his head "Yes." "What were you doing during all this?" ......."Driving" motioned the monkey. ______________________________________________________ Getty Images is hassling me, demanding an outrageous amount of money for using a picture, that has been posted to a public domain site over four years ago, without any indication, that somebody will demand payment AFTER it has been used. They demand more than I make of the Humor Letter in 3 years. I simply don't have that kind of money. If the Humor Letter suddenly stops, I'll be in jail. So no more pictures except for those taken by my dad or me, or taken and submitted by you. Instead, here is a random picture at Imgur. Random Picture at Imgur Random pictures are of course not carefully selected by me and could be awful, but theoretically should be family safe. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD AND a Darwin Award has been earned by Jonathan Edelen, 34 Dallas, Texas
Man Admits He Killed His Wife To 'Stop her talking' A Texas man has confessed to smothering his wife with a pillow to "keep her quiet," according to reports. Jonathan Edelen, 34, told an officer to "put the cuffs on me and take me to jail," The Dallas Morning News reported. "I killed my wife,” Edelen told Dallas police, according to the Morning News. Edelen is now charged with murder in the death of Ceaira Ford, 28. Edelen told authorities that he and Ford argued Monday night after they purchased some marijuana and went to the grocery store. According to CBS Dallas-Fort Worth: Edelen complained that his wife wouldn’t stop talking. He picked up their television and took it onto the patio to destroy it so she would quiet down. When that didn’t work, Edelen said he put his hand over her mouth and she flipped over the patio railing onto a grassy area below. The fight then moved to the bedroom, where Edelen allegedly held a pillow over Ford's face until she stopped talking. Edelen did not call police until early Wednesday, according to NBC Dallas-Fort Worth. He confessed and was arrested some time after. He is charged with murder, with bond set at $500,000, according to jail records.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Dani Re: Laser for all computers? Dear Webby I hope all is well with you. Will Laser Printers work with all computers? I have Window 7. Thanks, Dani Dear Dani Yes, they work with all computers and all operating sytems. A few Billion of them are used on Windows XP and W7 machines. A word of caution: Check the cost of replacement cartridges! For example, Staples sometimes sells a color laser printer for under $100, but expects you to pay $149 each for the 4 toner replacement cartridges. EACH. Drop THAT on their toes! Overall I found DELL to be a good and reliable deal for printers. They don't make them. They just sell them. Often they are the same machine as what Xerox sells, and use the same toner cartridges. Just different label on the machine. Have Fun! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ "Look at ME!" boasted a man to a group of young people. "Every morning I do fifty push-ups, fifty sit- ups and walk two miles. I'm fit as a fiddle! And you want to know why? I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't stay up late, and I don't chase after women!" He smiled at them, teeth white, eyes glittering, "And tomorrow, I'm going to celebrate my 45th birthday!" "Oh, really?" drawled one of the young onlookers, "How, with a bran muffin ? ______________________________________________________ That reminds me: A clerk in a bakery notices a customer carefully examining all the rich-looking pastries displayed on trays in the glass cases. "What would you like?" the clerk asks. "I'd like that chocolate-covered, cream-filled doughnut, that jelly-filled doughnut and that cheese Danish," the customer says. With a sigh he adds, "But I'll take an oat-bran muffin." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Checking Eggs for Freshness We have 2 chickens and the eggs can stack up quickly sometimes. We collect our eggs in a basket on the counter. Then when the basket gets full, we put them into a sink full of water (at least a few inches above the eggs) to check their freshness and clean them. It's very easy to tell: If it FLOATS, it's bad and should be thrown out. If it STANDS ON END in the bottom of the sink, it's getting old and should be used first. If it LAYS ON ITS SIDE, it's great and very fresh. By lalala... ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ "That new girl in the typing pool is driving me crazy!" bemoaned Rich to Ernie. "That girl is a real mirage." "Aren't you using the wrong word?" asked Ernie. "A mirage is something you can see but that isn't quite all there." "Yeah," came the reply "That describes her exactly!" _____________________________________________________ The first week they were married Mick gave his wife almost all his wages for that week, except for fifty pence, which he kept for himself. The next pay-day his wife said to him "Mick, it must have been hard to manage on fifty pence for the week, I don't know how you did it." "You will" he said grimly, "It's your turn to have fifty pence this week." ____________________________________________________
The amazing, hardy people of Mongolia.

Today in 
1483 King Richard III of England was crowned. 
1699 Captain William Kidd, the pirate, was captured in 
 Boston, MA, and deported back to England. 
1777 British forces captured Fort Ticonderoga during the 
 American Revolution. 
1858 Lyman Blake patented the shoe manufacturing machine. 
1885 Louis Pasteur successfully tested his anti-rabies 
 vaccine. The child used in the test later became the director 
 of the Pasteur Institute. 
1905 Fingerprints were exchanged for the first time between 
 officials in Europe and the U.S. The person in question was 
 John Walker.
1917 During World War I, Arab forces led by T.E. Lawrence 
 captured the port of Aqaba from the Turks. 
1919 A British dirigible landed in New York at Roosevelt 
 Field. It completed the first crossing of the Atlantic 
 Ocean by an airship. 
1923 The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics was established. 
1966 Malawi became a republic within the Commonwealth with 
 Dr. Hastings Banda as its first president. 
1967 The Biafran War erupted. The war lasted two-and-a-half 
 years. About 600,000 people died. 
1981 Former President of Argentina Isabel Peron was freed 
 after five years of house arrest by a federal court. 
1981 The Dupont Company announced an agreement to purchase 
 Conoco, Inc. (Continental Oil Co.) for $7 billion. At the 
 time it was the largest merger in corporate history. 
1983 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that retirement plans could 
 not pay women smaller monthly payments solely because of 
 their gender. 
1988 Several popular beaches were closed in New York City 
 due to medical waste and other debris began washing up on 
 the seashores. 
1989 The U.S. Army destroyed its last Pershing 1-A missiles 
 at an ammunition plant in Karnack, TX. The dismantling was 
 under the terms of the 1987 Intermediate-range Nuclear 
 Forces Treaty. 
1997 The Mars Pathfinder released Sojourner, a robot rover 
 on the surface of Mars. The spacecraft landed on the red 
 planet on July 4th. 
1997 In Cambodia, Second Prime Minister Hun Sen ousted First 
 Prime Minister Norodom Ranariddh and claimed to have the 
 capital under his control. 
1998 Protestants rioted in many parts of Northern Ireland 
 after British authorities blocked an Orange Order march 
 in Portadown. 
2000 A jury awarded former NHL player Tony Twist $24 million 
 for the unauthorized use of his name in the comic book 
 Spawn and the HBO cartoon series. Co-defendant HBO settled 
 with Twist out of court for an undisclosed amount. 
2015  smiled.

[ view entry ] ( 12 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 1238 )

<<First <Back | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 | 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 51 | Next> Last>>