Make W8 look like W7 or XP 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, July 13

Have FUN!

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______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Alabama burglar who was chased by cops and a bull Details at Boneheads Today in 1099 The Crusaders launched their final assault on Muslims in Jerusalem. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A couple that have been married for 40 years decide to celebrate their anniversary with a renewal of their vows. In planning the ceremony with the help of a friend, the wife says she has decided to wear silver instead of white. At that point, her husband chimes in, "Yep, silver. To match her hair." Glaring at the husband's bald spot, the wife's friend inquires, "So, I guess you are going naked?" ______________________________________________________ A sweet young lady who had just been shopping is pulled over by a traffic cop and given a ticket for speeding. Rather than fight the ticket, the woman writes a check for the amount of the fine and puts it in the mail. However, the young woman is worried. Her husband always examines her checkbook carefully, and she doesn't want him to know about the incident. Then inspiration strikes, and she scribbles on the check stub: "One pullover, $125." ______________________________________________________ Getty Images is hassling me, demanding an outrageous amount of money for using a picture, that has been posted to a public domain site over four years ago, without any indication, that somebody will demand payment AFTER it has been used. They demand more than I make of the Humor Letter in 3 years. I simply don't have that kind of money. If the Humor Letter suddenly stops, I'll be in jail. So no more pictures except for those taken by my dad or me, or taken and submitted by you. Instead, here is a random picture at Imgur. Random Picture at Imgur Random pictures are of course not carefully selected by me and could be awful, but theoretically should be family safe. ______________________________________________________
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Brad Lynn Hemby 26, Arab, Alabama
Robbery suspect chased by bull An Alabama robbery suspect got into some serious beef when he ran across a bull while allegedly fleeing police Wednesday. Police in the city of Arab, in the northern part of the state, said suspect Brad Lynn Hemby, 26, and a female accomplice were chased from a house they were robbing after the homeowner caught them in the act. Hemby and the woman drove off in a Chevrolet truck with officers in pursuit. They crashed near a cow pasture, and Hemby ran. "The driver... fled across a cow pasture and grabbed the attention of a bull roaming the field. The bull also gave chase along with deputies," Marshall County Sheriff Scott Walls told WHNT. The chase ended when Hemby ran into a barbed wire fence and surrendered, according to WAFF. Police said the female suspect ran into a wooded area near the crash site and remains at large. After apprehending Hemby, police recovered stolen items from the truck. Hemby is charged with burglary, criminal mischief and attempting to elude a police officer and a bull.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Helen Re: Make W8 look like W7 or XP Him Webby. I'm just looking for the program you told us about that makes W8 act like XP. I can't seem to find it, and I know you had it in your newsletter just recently. Thank you so much, Alice Dear Alice The XP or W7 desktop shell and various skins are at By the way, with your Windows Mail you CAN put the message into the BODY part. No need to jam it all onto the subject line. The Subject line should be just a very brief topic, just a phrase, so that the recipient can easily tell at a glance what the topic is. Have Fun! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ In a Supermarket, Hong Kong: FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND COURTEOUS, EFFICIENT SELF-SERVICE. ______________________________________________________ Old George was a priest in a small German town. He had always been a good man and lived by the Bible. One day God decided to reward him, with the answer to any three questions George would like to ask. Old George did not need much time to consider, and the first question was: "Will there ever be married Catholic priests?" God promptly replied: "Not in your life-time." George thought for a while, and then came up with the second question: "what about female priests then, will we have that one day?" Again God had to disappoint Old George: "Not in your life-time, I'm afraid." George was sorry to hear that, and he decided to drop the subject. After having thought for a while, he asked the last question: "Will there ever be another German pope?" God answered quickly and with a firm voice, "Not in MY life time." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Cornstarch Play Dough Fun play dough to make for your kids! it is super cheap to make, super easy, and non-toxic. Did I mention it only has 3 ingredients? Approximate Time: Under 15 minutes Yield: 3 large circles of fun! :) Supplies: 1 cup water 2 cups baking soda 1 cup cornstarch Steps: Add all of your ingredients to a large pan. Cook over low to medium heat for about 8 minutes, stirring continuously. I decided to separate the dough so that I could make a few different colors. I gave each of my kiddos a tiny container of a couple teaspoons of water. It was a tiny bit crumbly, but they worked in the water and it did the trick! You can either air-dry your creations, then paint them and keep them for display, or store your dough in the fridge for future use. Have fun! :) Source: A book called Little Hands By melissa [162] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ The case concerned a will and Kelly was a witness. The attorney asked:"Was the deceased in the habit of talking to himself when he was alone?" "I don't know," said Kelly. "Come now man, you don't know and yet you pretend you were intimately acquainted with the deceased?" "Well, Mr. Lawyer," said Kelly, "I never happened to be with him when he was alone. " ____________________________________________________ Car rental brochure, Tokyo: WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVE IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE HORN. TRUMPET HIM MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE STILL OBSTACLES YOUR PASSAGE, THEN TOOTLE HIM WITH VIGOR. Dry cleaner's, Bangkok: DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS. ____________________________________________________
Dogs are great at looking guilty.

Today in 
1099 The Crusaders launched their final assault on Muslims 
 in Jerusalem. 
1534 The Ottoman armies captured Tabriz in northwestern Persia. 
1558 Led by the court of Egmont, the Spanish army defeated the 
 French at Gravelines, France. 
1812 The first pawnbroking ordinance was passed in New York City. 
1832 Henry Schoolcraft discovered the source of the Mississippi 
 River in Minnesota. 
1835 John Ruggles received patent #1 from the U.S. Patent Office 
 for a traction wheel used in locomotive steam engines. All 9,957 
 previous patents were not numbered. 
1863 Opponents of the Civil War draft began three days of rioting 
 in New York City, which resulted in more than 1,000 casualties. 
1875 David Brown patented the first cash-carrier system. 
1878 The Congress of Berlin divided the Balkans among 
 European powers. 
1931 A major German financial institution, Danabank, failed. 
 This led to the closing of all banks in Germany until August 5. 
1941 Britain and the Soviet Union signed a mutual aid pact, 
 that provided the means for Britain to send war material 
 to the Soviet Union. 
1954 In Geneva, the United States, Great Britain and France 
 reached an accord on Indochina which divided Vietnam into 
 two countries, North and South, along the 17th parallel. 
1978 Lee Iacocca was fired as president of Ford Motor Co. 
 by chairman Henry Ford II. 
1984 In Arkansas, Terry Wallis was injured in a car accident 
 and was left comatose. He came out of the coma in June of 2003. 
1998 "Image of an Assassination" went on sale. The video 
 documentary is of Abraham Zapruder's home video of U.S. 
 President Kennedy's assassination in Dallas. 
2000 The United States and Vietnam singed a major trade 
 agreement. The pact still needed to be approved by the 
 U.S. Congress.
2015  smiled.

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