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Today is Tuesday, July 14
Have FUN!

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______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Dopey Long Island man forgets 3 year old daughter at Subway. Details at Boneheads Today in 1789 French Revolution began with Parisians stormed the Bastille prison and released the seven prisoners inside. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it. --- Voltaire (1694 - 1778) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new colonel was sitting at his desk when an airman knocked on the door. Conscious of his new position, the colonel quickly picked up the phone, told the airman to enter, then said into the phone, "Yes, General, I'll be seeing him this afternoon and I'll pass along your message. In the meantime, thank you for your good wishes, sir." Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the young enlisted man, he barked at him: "What do you want?" "Nothing important, sir," the airman replied, "just here to hook up your telephone." ______________________________________________________ Lady: Waiter, please bring me coffee without cream. Waiter: I'm afraid we've run out of cream. Would you like it without milk? ______________________________________________________ Getty Images is hassling me, demanding an outrageous amount of money for using a picture, that has been posted to a public domain site over four years ago, without any indication, that somebody will demand payment AFTER it has been used. They demand more than I make of the Humor Letter in 3 years. I simply don't have that kind of money. If the Humor Letter suddenly stops, I'll be in jail. So no more pictures except for those taken by my dad or me, or taken and submitted by you. Instead, here is a random picture at Imgur. Random Picture at Imgur Random pictures are of course not carefully selected by me and could be awful, but theoretically should be family safe. ______________________________________________________
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Stanley Fredrique, 34 Long island
Dopey dad left daughter behind at Subway Stanley Fredrique, 34, took Natalie to the store in Harlem, New York He then bought the youngster a meal before walking out of the restaurant Girl started screaming 'daddy, daddy', so he promised he would be back But an employee took her to a police station when he didn't return. Fredrique told police he had forgotten her and tried to report her missing the next day. Another man who said he was outside the Subway when Frederique split suspected the irresponsible father was on synthetic weed, called K2 or spice. “He was standing around here all night long, this strip is a hotbed,” Jerry Smith, 29. “The guy that did that was heavy on K2 — I don't think he was, I know he was.” Nataleigh arrived home in her mother’s arms Sunday evening. Her dopey dad was taken to Bellevue Hospital Center. Frederique has been arrested at least three times on drug charges and spent three years behind bars, from 2005 to 2008. In 2010, he also was charged with endangering the welfare of a child because of an argument a male relative had with a woman over child care, according to the Long Island Press.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Andre Re: Recover from full-screen browser Dear Webby, I think you mentioned the trick once, or maybe more than once, how to recover from full screen, when a browser or program accidentally goes to full monitor size and there is no top bar to click on. What is the trick to recover from that? Thanks Andre Dear Andre Hit F11 That will get you back to controllable part screen size views. Have Fun! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ >Fom Ed The other day I was playing golf and saw an unusual thing. A golfer became so mad that he threw his brand new set of golf clubs into the lake. A few minutes later he came back, waded into the lake, and retrieved his clubs. He proceeded to take his car keys out of the bag -- then threw the clubs back into the water. ______________________________________________________ A lady was driving from her husband's office to the kids' school, with twelve youngsters in the car, when she blew past a red light, and a police car. Much to the delight of the kids, the police officer pulled her over, wrote her a ticket, lectured her on traffic safety, and finished by saying, "Lady, don't you know when to stop?" Tomato red in the cheeks, the embarrassed woman said, "Officer, only seven of them are mine!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Toothpaste to Clean Diamond Earrings Take some toothpaste and use your hand or a brush of sorts and brush the jewel. Then rinse and by then you have a sparkling piece of jewlery. By Katie M. [9] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Louise's Cookbook MONDAY: It's fun to cook for Bob. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls. TUESDAY: Bob wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn't dress. What a surprise when Bob brought a friend home for supper. WEDNESDAY: A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed kinda of silly but I took a bath. I can't say it improved the rice any. THURSDAY: Today Bob asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. Which is what led up to Bob asking me why I was rolling around in the garden. FRIDAY: I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put all ingredients in bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as when I left. SATURDAY: Bob did the shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday (oh boy). For some reason Bob keeps counting to ten. SUNDAY: Bob's folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast. All I could find was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash of genius. I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. It still came out hamburger, much to my disappointment. GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY. This has been a very exciting week. I am eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on Bob. If we could just get a bigger oven, I would like to surprise him with Chocolate Moose. ____________________________________________________ As part of the admission procedure in the hospital where Jill work, she asks the patients if they are allergic to anything. If they are, she prints it on an allergy band placed on the patient's wrists. Once when she asked an elderly woman if she had any allergies, she said she couldn't eat bananas. Imagine Jill's surprise, when several hours later a very irate son came out to the nurses' station screaming: "Who's responsible for labeling my mother 'bananas'?" ____________________________________________________
A beautiful bookstore in Romania. I could live there!

Today in 
1223 In France, Louis VIII succeeded his father, Philip Augustus. 
1430 Joan of Arc, taken prisoner by the Burgundians in May, 
 was handed over to Pierre Cauchon, the bishop of Beauvais. 
1456 Hungarians defeated the Ottomans at the Battle of Belgrade. 
1789 French Revolution began with Parisians stormed the Bastille 
 prison and released the seven prisoners inside. 
1868 Alvin J. Fellows patented the tape measure. 
1891 The primacy of Thomas Edison's lamp patents was upheld 
 in the court decision Electric Light Company vs. U.S. 
 Electric Lighting Company. 
1900 European Allies retook Tientsin, China, from the 
 rebelling Boxers. 
1911 Harry N. Atwood landed an airplane on the lawn of the 
 White House to accept an award from U.S. President William Taft. 
1914 Robert H. Goddard patented liquid rocket-fuel. 
1933 All German political parties except the Nazi Party 
 were outlawed. 
1940 A force of German Ju-88 bombers attacked Suez, Egypt, 
 from bases in Crete. 
1941 Vichy French Foreign Legionaries signed an armistice in 
 Damascus, which allowed them to join the 
 Free French Foreign Legion. 
1945 American battleships and cruisers bombarded the 
 Japanese home islands for the first time. 
1946 Dr. Benjamin Spock’s "The Common Sense Book of Baby 
 and Child Care" was first published. 
1958 The army of Iraq overthrew the monarchy. 
1965 The American space probe Mariner 4 flew by Mars, and 
 sent back photographs of the planet. 
1998 Los Angeles sued 15 tobacco companies for $2.5 billion 
 over the dangers of secondhand smoke. 
2008 The iTunes Music Store reached 10 million applications 
2008 In Japan, construction began on the Tokyo Skytree tower. 
2009 The iTunes Music Store reached 1.5 billion 
 applications downloaded. 
2015  smiled.

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