Is Costco a good deal? 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, July 22

Tomorrow, Thursday, July 23, I have to go to Calgary for
injections into my eyeballs. That means nothing,including
my newsletter, will be sent out for Friday, Saturday and 

One of the computer magazines had a headline:
"A tribute to Windows 8: If it hadn't been so bad, 
Windows 10 wouldn't be almost ready yet."
Windows 10.2, SP2 in 2020 is supposedly going to be 
awesome. Take your time. I am too busy working to 
have time for that anyway.

Have FUN!

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Maryland dog watcher, who demanded sex from owner Details at Boneheads Today in 1376 The legend of the Pied Piper of Hamelin leading rats out of town is said to have occurred on this date. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Imagine what it would be like if TV actually were good. It would be the end of everything we know. --- Marvin Minsky ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Bambi, a young lady sidled up to a guest at the party. She had heard him addressed as doctor and now she said diffidently, "Doctor, may I ask a question?" "Certainly," he said. "Lately," said Bambi, "I have been having a funny pain right here over my heart..." The guest interrupted uncomfortably and said, "I'm terribly sorry, Bambi, but the truth is, I'm a doctor of philosophy." "Oh," said Bambi, "I'm sorry!" She turned away, but then overcome with curiosity, she turned back. "Just one more question, doctor. Tell me, what kind of disease is philosophy?" ______________________________________________________ An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution, "You don't want to try these techniques at home." "Why not?" asked someone from the back of the audience. "I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips to the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying just a single item at a time. Then I suggested that she try carrying several things at once." The voice from the back asked, "Did it save time?" The expert replied, "Actually, yes. It used to take her twenty minutes to get breakfast ready. Now, I do it in seven." ______________________________________________________ Getty Images is hassling me, demanding an outrageous amount of money for having used a picture, that had been posted to a public domain site over four years ago, without any indication, that some day somebody will demand payment, AFTER it has been used. They demand more than I make of the Humor Letter in 3 years. I simply don't have that kind of money. If the Humor Letter suddenly stops, I'll be in jail. So no more pictures except for those taken by my dad or me, or taken and submitted by you. Instead, here is a random picture at Imgur. Random Picture at Imgur Random pictures are of course not carefully selected by me and could be awful, but theoretically should be family safe. Hopefully none of those have been uploaded for entrapment purposes. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Edward Lewis Thompson, 23, Frederick, Maryland
Maryland dog watcher, who demanded sex from owner A Maryland man is accused of demanding sexual favors as payment for watching a woman's dog while she stepped inside a business. Edward Lewis Thompson, 23, was indicted July 10 on charges of an attempted second-degree sex offense and second-degree assault, according to On June 11, Thompson allegedly agreed to watch a pit bull for a woman who needed to go inside a local business in Frederick. The woman told police that when she left the building Thompson asked her for “sexual favors in return for watching her dog,” according to the Washington Post. The woman said the suspect followed her to an alley, grabbed her and again demanded sexual favors. The victim's dog jumped to her aid and scared away the suspect, allowing her to escape and contact police. Frederick police identified Thompson after several interviews and watching video surveillance. Thompson was arrested for the assault charge on June 24 and indicted for the sex offense charge on July 10, an official told The Huffington Post. Good Doggie!
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Freeda Re: Costco Dear Webby, You have mentioned Costco quite favorably a number of times. My neighbor has no good word about them. What's the story? Freeda Dear Freeda I used to be annoyed at them, because at that time they accepted only American Express, and I wanted to get air miles with my VISA. Well, that was a long time ago. Then I had a heart attack and needed meds on the way home from the Rockyviw hospital, where they had totally misdiagnosed me. Well, Costco was the only pharmacy still open that late. So I got my prescription there. I didn't have COPD and pneumonia and this and that and the other thing, so the next day I staggered up to the local hospital, where a kindly old country doc told me that I didn't have any of that stuff, that I was just a walking dead with a heart attack, and that they could fix that. They did, and gave me a new prescription list. This time I phoned the pharmacy down the street, and Costco, for prices. Costco was half price. So I got a Costco membership card. You don't really need one for just medication, but they had all kinds of really good deals. In addition to that, they usually have about a dozen ladies in there giving you samples, pizza, pickled asperagus, chicken nuggets, potato salad, fruit salad, and on and on and on. By the time I have hiked through the store, I am filled up with all kinds of delicacies. AND, most of them are on jaw-dropping introductory sales. I also found out that they quite cheerfully take cash. So I budget myself according to how much cash I want to spend. At the tills they pack your stuff into boxes and put them into a cart. They don't wheel it out to your vehicle, but that is no big deal. It's all smooth pavement. In Canada Costco and AMEX have split their sheets and Costco now accepts Mastercard. They even have their own, where you get 2% back. I didn't think they would give one to me, considering how badly indebted I am, but they approved one right in the store and printed one out to use until a plastic one arrived in the mail. I just use it at the self-serve gas pumps. Fuel is also by far the cheapest at Costco. For members only. That alone is worth the $50 annual membership fee. If you commute or drive a lot, the membership will be paid for in a week, two at most. After that it's clear profit. Another HUGE advantage is their warranty. It is totally the opposite from Walmart, where returning anything is a major hassle. At Costco they ask what the problem was, and they don't argue one bit. Their second question is whether you want cash or have the amount put on your credit card. Done with a smile. Huh? Yep, here is the cash, Sir. Also, unlike Walmart, the employees are not hiding, but hike around and if I look lost or confused, some kind lady flirts at me and guides me to where the stuff is, that I had been looking for. I can highly recommend Costco and I am kicking myself, that I was so boneheaded about the credit cards 15 years ago! Have Fun! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A friend and I were driving to the mall when we came to a bridge under construction. The road narrowed to one lane, with a red light at either end. We stopped at the red light on our side and when it turned green we started up again. Halfway through we met another car coming towards us. The driver leaned out his window and shouted, "I don't back up for idiots!" Putting his car into reverse, my friend called back, "No problem. I know how to do that." _____________________________________________________ "Sir," she inquired, "Why doesn't this cow have any horns?" The farmer cocked his head for a moment, then began in a patient tone, "Well, ma'am, cattle can do a powerful lot of damage with horns. Sometimes we keep'em trimmed down with a hacksaw. However there are some breeds of cattle that never grow horns. But the reason this here cow don't have no horns, ma'am, is 'cause it's a horse." ______________________________________________________ If GH can stand for P as in Hiccough If OUGH can stand for O as in Dough If PHTH can stand for T as in Phthisis If EIGH can stand for A as in Neighbor If TTE can stand for T as in Gazette If EAU can stand for O as in Plateau Then the right way to spell POTATO should be: "GHOUGHPHTHEIGHTTEEAU" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Clove for Toothache Take a clove and let it sit in your mouth for a minute or until soft, then apply over the painful area until the pain goes away. By Katie M. [9] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ The temporary Sunday School teacher was struggling to open a combination lock on the supply cabinet. She had been told the combination, but couldn't quite remember it. Finally she went to the pastor's study and asked for help. The pastor came into the room and began to turn the dial. After the first two numbers he paused and stared blankly for a moment. Finally he looked serenely heavenward and his lips moved silently. Then he looked back at the lock, and quickly turned to the final number, and opened the lock. The teacher was amazed. "I'm in awe at your faith, pastor," she said. "It's really nothing," he answered. "The number is on a piece of tape on the ceiling." ____________________________________________________
Helium Beer
____________________________________________________ "I just hope it's not Alzheimer's," confessed the gentleman to his doctor. "Maybe there's some kind of memory medicine you can give me. See, I'm getting terribly forgetful; I lose track of where I'm going or what I'm supposed to do when I get there. What should I do?" he asked glumly. "Pay me in advance," the doctor promptly suggested. ____________________________________________________
How do they do that!

Today in 
1376 The legend of the Pied Piper of Hamelin leading rats 
 out of town is said to have occurred on this date. 
1587 A second English colony was established on Roanoke 
 Island off North Carolina. The colony vanished under 
 mysterious circumstances. 
1796 Cleveland was founded by General Moses Cleaveland. 
1798 The USS Constitution was underway and out to sea 
 for the first time since being launched on October 21, 1797 
1812 English troops under the Duke of Wellington defeated 
 the French at the Battle of Salamanca in Spain. 
1933 Wiley Post ended his around-the-world flight. He had 
 traveled 15,596 miles in 7 days, 18 hours and 45 minutes. 
1943 American forces led by General George S. Patton captured 
 Palermo, Sicily. 
1975 Confederate General Robert E. Lee had his U.S. citizenship 
 restored by the U.S. Congress. 
1987 The U.S. began its policy of escorting re-flagged Kuwaiti 
 tankers up and down the Persian Gulf to protect them from 
 possible attack by Iran. 
1998 Iran tested medium-range missile, capable of reaching 
 Israel or Saudi Arabia. 
2000 Astronomers at the University of Arizona announced that 
 they had found a 17th moon orbiting Jupiter. 
2003 In northern Iraq, Saddam Hussein's sons Odai and Qusai 
 died after a gunfight with U.S. forces. 
2003 In Paris, France, a fire broke out near the top of the 
 Eiffel Tower. About 4,000 visitors were evacuated and no 
 injuries were reported. 
2009 The longest total solar eclipse of the 21st century, 
 lasting up to 6 minutes and 38.8 seconds, occurred over 
 parts of Asia and the Pacific Ocean. 
2011 Space Shuttle Atlantis landed successfully at Kennedy 
 Space Center after completing STS-135. It was the final 
 flight of NASA's space shuttle program.
2015  smiled.

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