msvcr71.dll missing in W8 

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______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a California man, who claimed to be Tarzan, tried swinging into monkey exhibit at zoo Details at Boneheads Today in 1947 The balsa wood raft Kon-Tiki, which had carried a six-man crew 4,300 miles across the Pacific Ocean, crashed into a reef in a Polynesian archipelago. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it. --- Mitch Hedberg (1968 - 2005) Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember. --- Oscar Levant Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. --- Albert Schweitzer ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Twohundred twenty pound Nancy is five feet, two inches tall and considers herself pleasingly plump. After she had a minor accident, her mother accompanied her to the emergency room. The ER nurse asked for her height and weight, and she blurted out, "Five-foot-ten, 115 pounds." While the nurse pondered over this information, her mother leaned over and whispered to her: "Nancy," she gently chided, "this is not the Internet." ______________________________________________________ A nearsighted minister glances at the note that a member of the congregation has delivered to him through an usher. The note reads, "Bill Jones, having gone to sea, his wife desires the prayers of the congregation for his safety." Failing to observe the punctuation, the minister startles his audience by announcing: "Bill Jones, having gone to see his wife, desires the prayers of the congregation for his safety." ______________________________________________________ Here is a picture from subscriber Clyde S. Bellingham Bay June2015 ______________________________________________________ A college student who has left his dorm and moved into an apartment goes to a grocery store to shop for cleaning equipment. As he makes his way through the aisles of the store, he loads his cart with a broom, mop, dustpan, sponges and a full array of cleaning products. At the last minute, he tops it all off with a lone food purchase -- a large bag of potato chips. When he gets to the checkout counter, he sees the checkout clerk eying it all with a puzzled look. Says the young man, "I'm a very messy eater." ______________________________________________________
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Reported by Walter, The Stonecarver An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by John William Rodenborn, 37, Santa Ana, California
Shirtless Man Claims to Be Tarzan, Tries Swinging Into Monkey Exhibit at Zoo A man was arrested after police say he swung from trees and tried to enter a monkey exhibit at the Santa Ana Zoo, all while claiming to be "Tarzan." Kent Yamaguchi, the zoo's director, was the one who made the bizarre 911 call on Tuesday. "We have a gentleman who appears to be under the influence of something and is climbing in our trees and jumping into animal exhibits," Yamaguchi is heard in the 911 call recording. "Oh, Okay, wow," the dispatcher responded. Yamaguchi said the man, later identified by police as 37-year-old John William Rodenborn, was shirtless and climbing trees near the zoo's aviary. "He climbed up into the tree and then proclaimed himself that he was 'Tarzan,' and that he was here just to have a good time," Yamaguchi said. After Rodenborn ignored Yamaguchi's request to get down, Rodenborn did a lap and then found a new perch atop the waterfall in the black howler monkey exhibit. "He was covered with mud. He was in the trees saying, 'I am Tarzan,' and we knew at that point, something was probably wrong," Yamaguchi said. Yamaguchi said the monkeys never saw the man. He doesn't believe they were in any danger. He called 911 and his staff kept visitors out of the area as a precaution. "For clearing people out, we did the same thing for an agitated person as we would for an escaped agitated monkey," Yamaguchi said. After a short chase, officers arrested Rodenborn. "He was found to be in possession of crystal methamphetamine and under the influence of crystal methamphetamine. He was booked here at the Santa Ana Jail," said Cpl. Anthony Bertagna with Santa Ana police. Rodenborn faces misdemeanor counts for possessing and being under the influence of methamphetamine and trespassing.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Marlene Re: msvcr71.dll missing in W8 Dear Webby, Here I am again with another question :( I have used rainlender as my calendar for several years. I tried to install on the windows 8.1 machine but it says :msvcr71.dll missing. What can I do? I always use downloads from your toolbox if able and have not had this problem on older pc's. Marlene Dear Marlene That is one of the typical W8 bugs, essential components missing. It's not really a big deal, but it was stuff like that, which caused all that hostility towards VISTA, and now again towards W8 You can get that file from Microsoft msvcr71.dll They were just a bit too sloppy and in too much of a hurry to get W8 out there before third party programmers wrote too many utilities to make W7 more usable. After you have downloaded and installed the runtime, you will have msvcr71.dll in your System32 folder. If the “msvcr71.dll is missing from your computer” errors still occurs, try restarting your PC. Some users report that after having installed Visual C++ 2003 runtimes, the msvcr71.dll file is still missing. In this case look for the file in C:\Windows\\Framework\1.1.x and copy it to Windows 7 or 8 (8.1) System32 folder. That would probably fix the error. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ "So, what's the matter? I thought you just got back from a nice relaxing fishing trip with your husband." "Oh, everything went wrong: First he said I talked so loud I would scare the fish. Then he said I was using the wrong bait; and then that I was reeling in too soon. All that might have been all right; but then, to make matters worse, I was the only one catching any fish!" ______________________________________________________ While a Texan was busily preparing for the first day of deer hunting season, his wife started nagging that he never asked her to go along. After several hours of arguments, the wife won. That next morning they drove out to the country, and he placed his wife in a tree about 100 yards from his blind. Just as the hunter reached the blind, he heard a loud bang coming from the wife's position. As he ran up to her, he saw that she was holding her gun on a man nearby and shouting, "It's my deer! Get away from it!!" The sheepish-looking stranger just nodded slowly and said, "OK, lady.. It's your deer. Just let me get my saddle off of it!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Soapy Water for Wasp Removal Wasps seem to hate warm soapy water. I attached a sprayer to my hose with simple dish soap in it. I applied some several times during the day and have successfully deterred a large nest that was visible and inside my covered porch structure. I have animals and plants and was reluctant to use a bunch of wasp spray. By Jill Kayser [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ After a long and arduous divorce trial that dragged on for weeks and cost him everything except the clothes he wore, on the way out of the court George was reminded of a phrase in an old song: "being free is nothing left to lose". He realized the truth in that and started laughing and shouting as he skipped down the sidewalk. "I'm free, I'm free!" he shouted. "So what," said a little girl. "I'm almoft four." ____________________________________________________

won't eat alone
____________________________________________________ My parents have a friend named Tex. One day I asked him what part of Texas he was from. "I'm not from Texas," he replied. "But you have a Southern drawl," I insisted. "Yeah, I do," he admitted. "I'm actually from Louisiana. But you better not call me Louise!" ____________________________________________________
Let's take a trip to South China and visit the mysterious Shilin Stone Forest.

Today in 
1782 George Washington created the Order of the Purple Heart. 
1888 Theophilus Van Kannel received a patent for the 
 revolving door. 
1914 Germany invaded France. 
1928 The U.S. Treasure Department issued a new bill that 
 was one third smaller than the previous U.S. bills. 
1934 The U.S. Court of Appeals upheld a lower court ruling 
 striking down the government's attempt to ban the controversial 
 James Joyce novel "Ulysses." 
1942 U.S. forces landed at Guadalcanal, marking the start of 
 the first major allied offensive in the Pacific during 
 World War II. 
1947 The balsa wood raft Kon-Tiki, which had carried a 
 six-man crew 4,300 miles across the Pacific Ocean, crashed 
 into a reef in a Polynesian archipelago. 
1959 The U.S. launched Explorer 6, which sent back a 
 picture of the Earth. 
1960 The Cuban Catholic Church condemned the rise of 
 communism in Cuba. Fidel Castro then banned all 
 religious TV and radio broadcasts. 
1964 The U.S. Congress passed the Gulf of Tonkin resolution, 
 which gave President Johnson broad powers in dealing 
 with reported North Vietnamese attacks on U.S. forces. 
1974 French stuntman Philippe Petit walked a tightrope strung 
 between the twin towers of New York's World Trade Center. 
1976 Scientists in Pasadena, CA, announced that the Viking 1 
 spacecraft had found strong indications of possible life 
 on Mars. 
1983 AT&T employees went on strike. 
1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush ordered U.S. troops and 
 warplanes to Saudi Arabia to guard against a possible 
 invasion by Iraq. 
2003 In California, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced that he 
 would run for the office of governor. 
2003 Stephen Geppi bought a 1963 G.I. Joe prototype for $200,000
2015  smiled.

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