Which anti-virus is best? 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, August 9

Thank you, Donna!

http://webby.com/mac.html With this one YOU get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Have FUN! DearWebby
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______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Stoned Driver, who took a "selfie" with arresting officer Details at Boneheads Today in 1859 In Boston, MA, the first milk inspectors were appointed. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on. --- Samuel Goldwyn (1882 - 1974) To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered. --- Voltaire ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Once, a long time ago, I boarded the train and took my seat. The seat next to me was empty, but not for long. A young mother boarded with her 5-year-old daughter and Mom sat down in the seat beside me. I offered my seat to the little girl but Mom said no, she'd sit the young one on her lap. So here I am holding my roses, now with a little lady straining to see what I was holding. "What ya got, mister?" she asked. (Mom is getting a bit flustered and tells her to mind her business.) I leaned the "package" over a bit and she looks and says loudly, "Ohhhh, ROSES!, who are they for?" (Now, Mom is embarrassed and tapping her on the rear telling her to sit down.) I said, "They are for my girlfriend". She says again with a loud voice, "WOW, pretty RED ones, and a lot of them, too! You really must have squewed up!" Needless to say, nearly everyone on the train was in stitches, except Mom who was now trying to crawl between the seats! ______________________________________________________ Former Philadelphia mayor Frank Rizzo on his view of the cause of crime: "The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Janina for this picture: Passion flower from my garden. Janina ______________________________________________________ A minister, having served the same church for many years, decided to leave and take a similar position in another church. Without telling anyone he had made this decision or writing a letter to the congregation, he waited until Sunday morning to announce his resignation in church. When he spoke to the congregation he said, "The same Jesus that called me to this church many years ago has now called upon me to leave and serve another church." The choir all stood and sang, "What a Friend We Have in Jesus." ______________________________________________________
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Reported by Karen An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Gilbert Phelps 20, Iowa City, Iowa
Stoned Driver Took "Selfie" With Arresting Officer After being taken into custody for driving while under the influence of marijuana, a 20-year-old Iowa man asked his arresting officer to pose with him for a Snapchat “selfie,” a request that the cop “happily obliged,” according to a criminal complaint. Gilbert Phelps was behind the wheel of a 2000 Toyota Camry around 2 AM yesterday when the vehicle was pulled over for speeding and having an obstructed registration sticker. During his questioning of Phelps, Iowa City Police Department Officer Ben Hektoen detected the odor of “ingested alcohol” inside the car. Hektoen reported that Phelps copped to “smoking marijuana prior to driving,” adding that the suspect displayed “measurable impairment” during a series of field sobriety tests. After a Breathalyzer test registered a .0 blood alcohol content, Phelps was examined by a “certified Drug Recognition Expert” who concluded that Phelps was “under the influence of cannabis and was unsafe to operate a motor vehicle.” While Phelps was being tested, Hektoen noted, “the defendant requested to take a SnapChat selfie with me to which I happily obliged.” Phelps posed later for a second photo (seen at above) that was snapped by a jail employee. Phelps was charged with operating while under the influence, a misdemeanor. Free on bond, he is scheduled for an August 17 preliminary hearing in District Court. His DUI record will stop him at the border of Mexico, Canada, and most European countries. A couple of years after the US blocked entry to people with a DUI record, or other criminal record, a lot of countries followed the US example.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Meg Re: Which anti-virus is best? Dear Webby, There are so many anti-virus programs out there, each claiming to be the best, but even I know that most of their claims are a bunch of hooey. Which one is really the best? Meg Dear Meg Mcafee has been bought by Intel. Big company, that makes the processor in your computer and a lot of the chips. They have more than enough money to buy all anti virus companies with their small change. They bought McAfee. Does that tell you anything? I negotiated a deal to get you McAfee for 50% off, which makes it quite affordable. It all depends on how much your data and customization is worth. If it is no big deal if you lose it, then get AVG. However, if you would be very upset if you lost it all, then get McAfee. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A guy wanted to get in the temple on Yom Kippur, but without a ticket they don't let you in. He said, "Look, I just want to give a message to a friend in there." The guy at the door says, "Sorry, you got to have a ticket." The first guy replies, "Just let me in for one minute, then I'll be right out." "Alright," says the guy at the door, "but I better not catch you praying." ______________________________________________________ Jill chewed out her husband at the company Thanksgiving picnic. "Doesn't it embarrass you that people have seen you go up to the buffet table five times?" "Not a bit," the husband replied. "I tell them I'm just filling up the plate for you!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com George Forman Grill to Make Bear Paws I have little counter space so everything on it has to be a useful appliance! I regularly make grilled cheese or grilled vegetables on an open George Forman grill or zucchini fritters on it. This weekend, I decided to try to make waffles! I just used my Bisquick for the batter and poured a small circle onto the upper portion of the heated grill and let it run down the grill a bit. Don't add too much! I did close it and turned the waffles after the top was slightly browned in some areas. They turned out looking like Bear Paws to me so that's what I now call them! You could name them Pet Paws or Monster Claws around Halloween, which is coming up! By Donna [260] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ "Growing up, my Mom always claimed to feel bad when a bird would slam head-first into our living room window. If she REALLY felt bad, though, she'd have moved the bird feeder outside." --- Rich Johnson ____________________________________________________

Diesel carries a box
____________________________________________________ Two confirmed bachelors sat talking. Their conversation drifted from politics to cooking. "I got a cookbook once," said the first, "but I could never do anything with it." "Too much fancy cooking in it, eh?" asked the second. "You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way - 'Take a clean dish and....'" ____________________________________________________
I thought everyone needed to know these useless facts.

Today in 
1792 King Louis XVI was taken into custody by mobs during 
 the French Revolution. He was executed the following 
 January after being put on trial for treason. 
1809 Ecuador began its fight for independence from Spain. 
1846 The Smithsonian Institution was chartered by the U.S. 
 Congress. The "Nation's Attic" was made possible by 
 $500,000 given by scientist Joseph Smithson. 
1859 In Boston, MA, the first milk inspectors were appointed. 
1869 The motion picture projector was patented by O.B. Brown. 
1881 Thomas Edison's exhibit opened the Paris Electrical 
1885 The first electric streetcar, to be used commercially, 
 was operated in Baltimore, MD, by Leo Daft. 
1914 Austria-Hungary invaded Russia. 
1921 Franklin D. Roosevelt was stricken with polio. 
1927 Mount Rushmore was formally dedicated. The individual 
 faces of the presidents were dedicated later. 
1944 U.S. forces defeated the remaining Japanese resistance 
 on Guam. 
1945 The day after the atomic bombing of Nagasaki, Japan 
 announced they would surrender. The only condition was 
 that the status of Emperor Hirohito would remain unchanged. 
1947 William Odom completed an around-the-world flight. 
 He set the solo record by completing the flight in 73 hours 
 and 5 minutes. 
1948 On ABC, "Candid Camera" made its TV debut. The original 
 title was "Candid Microphone." 
1954 Construction began on the St. Lawrence Seaway. 
1988 U.S. President Reagan signed a measure that provided 
 $20,000 payments to Japanese-Americans who were interned 
 by the U.S. government during World War II. 
1994 U.S. President Clinton claimed presidential immunity 
 when he asked a federal judge to dismiss, at least for 
 the time being, a sexual harassment lawsuit filed by 
 Paula Corbin Jones. 
1995 Norma McCorvey, "Jane Roe" of the 1973 U.S. Supreme 
 Court decision legalizing abortion, announced that she 
 had joined the anti-abortion group Operation Rescue. 
1999 Near an India-Pakistan border area an Indian fighter 
 jet shot down a Pakistani naval aircraft. Sixteen people 
 were killed. 
2003 Ekaterina Dmitriev and Russian cosmonaut Yuri 
 Malenchenko were married. Malenchenko was about 240 miles 
 above the earth in the international space station. It 
 was the first-ever marriage from space. 
2015  smiled.

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