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Today is Tuesday, August 25

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______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Pennsylvania counselor, who tried to lure student into sex Details at Boneheads Today in 1814 The U.S. Library of Congress was destroyed by British forces. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them. --- Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992) "Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want and their kids pay for it." --- Richard Lamm ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Two church members were going door to door. They knocked on the door of a woman who clearly was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms she did not want to hear their message and then slammed the door in their faces. To her surprise, the door did not close. In fact, it bounced back open. She tried again, really put her back into the job, and slammed the door again. Same results. The door bounced back like it was made of Silly Putty. Convinced one of these rude church members was sticking a foot in the door, she reared back to give the door a slam that would teach them a lesson. Just then, one of the church members said, "Ma'am, before you do that again, you might want to move your cat." ______________________________________________________ Discovering too late that a watermelon spiked with vodka had accidentally been served to a luncheon meeting of local ministers, the restaurant's owner waited nervously for the clerics' reaction. "Quick, man," he whispered to the waiter, "what did they say?" "Nothing," replied the waiter. "They were all too busy slipping the seeds into their pockets." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ You may have heard about a new bride who was a bit embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner. Hilda was like that. So when she and her new husband husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if there was any way that they could make it appear that they had been married a long time. He responded, "Easy! Just carry your own suitcase." ______________________________________________________
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Emily Feeney 40, White Water Park Oklahoma
Pennsylvania counselor, who tried to lure student into sex A college counselor at a Pennsylvania prep school sought to lure an underage male student into a sexual relationship with the promise that she could “get him into Harvard University with her connections,” police allege. According to a three-count felony complaint filed yesterday, cops began investigating Emily Feeney in mid-May after receiving a report that she was engaged in a “highly sexualized” texting relationship with a student at Malvern Preparatory School, where Feeney, 40, headed the college counseling office and coached the swim team. Feeney, a Harvard University graduate who captained the school’s swim team, has a Masters from Columbia University and previously worked in admissions at Columbia, Barnard College, and Princeton University. Feeney’s father, uncle, brother, and cousins all attended Malvern, which is about 35 miles outside Philadelphia. The student, a swim team member, told police that he began receiving inappropriate e-mail and text messages from Feeney last summer, when he was 16. As detailed in the complaint, Feeney (seen above) sent the boy “selfie” photos of herself in “various stages of undress,” including a topless picture. See the left part of the picture, .."various stages of undress" Investigators reported reviewing hundreds of e-mails exchanged by Feeney and the victim, many of which were “non-professional in nature and sexually suggestive.” While Feeney aggressively pursued the student, the teen did not reciprocate. In a June 2014 message to Feeney, the victim declared, “Im not interested in you end of story. Im 16 im not into you.” Though she was getting the brush off from the boy, Feeney appeared undeterred. By dangling her Harvard connections, Feeney sought to “entice the victim to continue to communicate with her as well as make him feel indebted” to her, investigators allege. The victim told police that while Feeney’s attention was unwanted, she “told him that she could help get him into Harvard University with her connections, and the victim did not want to jeopardize his chance of attending” the Ivy League school. In a series of messages sent from her school e-mail account earlier this year, Feeney beseeched the student to converse with her. “You are gorgeous and this is killing me. Please talk to me,” she wrote in one e-mail, while another stated, “I adore you – always have, always will.” Feeney, who has been fired from her job at the prep school, was charged yesterday with three felonies and a misdemeanor in connection with her contacts with the student. Free on $75,000 bail, she is scheduled for a September 2 preliminary hearing.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Lee Re: Folder icons Dear Webby, I know about this problem as my (then 87 year old) mom had the same issue with loads of icons on her desktop. I doubt Jannie really uses many of them. She could create appropriately named folders on the desktop and put the icons into the folders. Lee Dear Lee Yes, that would definitely work, if she can tolerate a dozen folder icons. Folder icons take a lot of discipline, but would definitely help get rid of desktop clutter. It is very easy, though, to drag shortcuts into the appropriate folders. The trick is to select really descriptive icons for the folders. It is easy enough to make icons. Good Luck! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A couple with three children waited in line at San Francisco's Pier 41 to purchase tickets for a boat trip to Alcatraz, the historic prison island. Others watched with varying degrees of sympathy and irritation as the young children fidgeted, whined, and punched one another. The frazzled parents reprimanded them to no avail. Finally, they reached the ticket window. "Five tickets, please," the father said. "Two round trip, three one way." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Dry Clothing on Hangers Dry Clothing on HangersWhen drying your laundry outdoors, instead of using pegs, hang as much washing on clothes hangers as possible. Separate the hangers using pegs to stop them gravitating together. By ShirleyE ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A duck walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer. Amazed, the bartender says: "Hey, you can talk!" "Sure-mumble-quack-mumble" says the duck, "Now can I get that mumble-quack-mumble beer mumble- quack-mumble ?" Shaking his head, the barkeep serves the duck a pint and asks him what he's doing in the area. "I work at the mumble-quack-mumble airport", says the duck. "You should join the circus", says the barkeep. "You could make a mint." "The mumble-quack-mumble circus!" the duck replies. "What the mumble-quack-mumble would the mumble-quack-mumble circus want with an airport flight departure announcer mumble-quack-mumble with a mumble-quack-mumble speech defect?" ___________________________________________________

hotel california (different)
____________________________________________________ Now that they are retired, my mother and father are discussing all aspects of their future. "What will you do if I die before you do?" dad asked mom. After some thought, she said that she'd probably look for a house sharing situation with three other single or widowed women who might be a little younger than herself, since she is so active for her age. Then mom asked dad, "What will you do if I die first?" He replied, "Probably the same thing." ____________________________________________________
WOW! Just WOW! Wish I was in that much control of my body! Plus, for you guys out there she’s gorgeous!

Today in 
1718 Hundreds of colonists from France arrived in Louisiana. 
 Some settled in present-day New Orleans. 
1814 The U.S. Library of Congress was destroyed by British forces. 
1825 Uruguay declared independence from Brazil. 
1840 Joseph Gibbons received a patent for the seeding machine. 
1875 Captain Matthew Webb swam from Dover, England, to Calais, 
 France making him the first person to swim the English Channel. 
 The feat took about 22 hours. 
1920 The first airplane to fly from New York to Alaska 
 arrived in Nome. 
1921 The U.S. signed a peace treaty with Germany. 
1939 The movie "Wizard of Oz" opened around the United States. 
1941 Soviet and British troops invaded Iran. This was in 
 reaction to the Shah's refusal to reduce the number of 
 German residents. 
1941 Allied forces invaded Iran. Within four days the Soviet 
 Union and England controlled Iran. 
1944 Paris, France, was liberated by Allied forces ending four 
 years of German occupation. 
1944 Romania saw who was winning and declared war on Germany. 
1950 U.S. President Truman ordered the seizure of U.S. railroads 
 to avert a strike. 
1972 In Great Britain, computerized axial tomography (CAT scan) 
 was introduced. 
1978 The Turin shroud believed to be the burial cloth of Jesus 
 Christ went on display for the first time in 45 years. 
1981 The U.S. Voyager 2 sent back pictures and data about Saturn. 
 The craft came within 63,000 miles of the planet. 
1983 The U.S. and the Soviet Union signed a $10 billion grain pact. 
1987 Saudi Arabia denounced the "group of terrorists" that ran the 
 Iranian government. 
1990 Military action was authorized by the United Nations to 
 enforce the trade embargo that had been placed on Iraq after 
 their invasion of Kuwait. 
1991 Belorussia declared independence from the Soviet Union. 
1997 The tobacco industry agreed to an $11.3 billion settlement 
 with the state of Florida. 
1998 A survey released said that 1/3 of Americans use the Internet. 
2015  smiled.

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