Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, September 5.

Have FUN!
DerWebby





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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!





______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a 
Man huffs canned air after crash 
as cop watches
Details at Boneheads

Today, September 4,
1774 The first session of the U.S. Continental Congress 
 convened in Philadelphia. The delegates drafted a declaration 
 of rights and grievances, organized the Continental Association, 
 and elected Peyton Randolph as the first president of the 
 Continental Congress. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
Your theory is crazy, but it's not crazy enough to be true.
--- Niels Bohr (1885 - 1962)

My definition of a free society is a society where it is 
safe to be unpopular.
--- Adlai E. Stevenson Jr. (1900 - 1965)

Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim
 he would   not have chosen a suit by it.
---  Maurice Chevalier, singer
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If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

An old woman is riding in an elevator in a very lavish New York
City building.

A young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling of
Expensive perfume.  She turns to the old woman and says
arrogantly, "Romance" by Ralph  Lauren, $150 an ounce!"

Then another young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator,
and also very arrogantly turns to the old woman saying,
"Channel No. 5, $200 an ounce!"

About three floors later, the old woman has reached her destination
and is about to get off the elevator.

Before she leaves, she looks both beautiful women in the eye,
then bends over, raises her skirt and trumpets a fart like the 
finale of an opera.
Just before the elevator doors close behind her, she turns and
whispers  into the eyewatering fumes:
"Broccoli,  49 cents a pound."

______________________________________________________

The young lady walked over to the room where she
knew her friend was.
"May I see Irving, please?" she asked the woman
blocking the door.

"We don't allow anyone but relatives to see the
patients," replied the woman. "Are you a member of
the family?"

"Why-er-why, yes. I'm his sister," said the lady.

"Oh, I'm so glad to meet you," said the woman.
"I'm his mother!"

______________________________________________________

Thanks to Noella for this picture:


My knock-out roses

______________________________________________________

A man driving in Southern Indiana, heading for
Kentucky, saw a sign that read:
"LAST CHANCE FOR $1.25 GAS!!!"
He still had more than half of a tank left, but figured
he'd better take advantage of this opportunity to fill up.

As he was getting his change from the attendant,
he asked, "How much is gas in Kentucky?"

The man replied, "$1.19."

______________________________________________________

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by


John Yates,
44,
Topsham,
Maine


Man huffs canned air after crash 
as cop watches

Police say a Maine man crashed his SUV into a guardrail on 
an interstate and then inhaled canned air in front of the 
officer who pulled him over.

Topsham Sgt. Robert Ramsay tells the Portland Press Herald 
(http://bit.ly/1JxG2kp) that 44-year-old John Yates was 
arrested Monday night on Interstate 295 in Topsham.

Ramsay says police saw Yates pull into a breakdown lane, 
then pull out suddenly, almost hitting a tractor-trailer.

Police say a slow pursuit ensued until Yates hit a guardrail 
and crashed into a ditch. Police say Yates then grabbed a 
canister of keyboard cleaner and began huffing it.

Yates faces charges including driving under the influence 
of drugs. He was being held Wednesday on $1,000 bail.

Most likely the canned air gambit was to mask some real dope,
but apparently they did not test for that.
______________________________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Jim
Re: Move Eudora
Dear Webby,
Greeting to you and thanks for all of you help, 
and the good jokes.

I have just set up Eudora on my Laptop.   What is 
the best way to get my Eudora address book from my PC 
to the laptop?

I hope there is a simple solution to do this?

Thanks in advance.  
Jim

Dear Jim
Yes, very simple.
Once you have set up Eudora, all you do is copy over the 
entire contents of the Eudora directory. All the mailboxes 
and everything. Attachment and Embedded folders, 
all the folders.

The setup just sets up the directory structure and puts 
Eudora into the registry.

I have done that with every machine migration since the 
early 90's.

If you don't want the mailboxes and JUST the address 
books:

Address Book Files
nndbase.txt: 
Your nicknames are saved in the nndbase.txt file. 
Note that this file contains the nicknames only, while the 
files in the Nickname folder contain the full data for each 
Address Book entry which includes the nickname and more.

nndbase.toc: 
This file is the table of contents for your nicknames. 
The same characteristics apply as with the TOC files 
for the mailboxes.

Nickname folder: 
Address Book entries are saved in the Nickname folder, 
in the default Eudora Nicknames file. If you have created 
additional Address Book files, they are kept under their 
own name in the Nickname directory.

Personally, I just drag the entire contents of the Eudora 
folder over to the new machine, and  continue working.

Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________

Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea,
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rarely ever wrong.
Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect in it's weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.

______________________________________________________
If you can help with the  cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!




______________________________________________________


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
ang Over the Door Hooks Upside Down

I love the over the door hooks you get at the dollar stores. 
But sometimes, they can be used in the laundry room for 
catching the clothes before they wrinkle.
I realized when finding a second hook that if your door is 
thinner, you can get more hanger room by flipping them 
upside down.
The square garners you more hanger space, and the curved 
part hugs the thinner doors better. One hook holds 4 hangers 
and the other holds 6.
This door is to the hot water heater, but some have 
cupboards over the washer and dryer, too.
Hope that helps. 
PBP
By Sandi/Poor But Proud [446]
 
______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, 
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
_____________________________________________________

Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you
get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle:
Take two
and keep away from the children.

___________________________________________________




Creating world's most complicated watch

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 "Dog's emails to God":
Dear God,
Are there dogs on other planets or are we alone? I have been 
howling at the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever 
hear back is the beagle cross the street!

Dear God,
We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand 
signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, 
electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. 
What do humans understand?

____________________________________________________






Brothers Grimms Wanderings. 
Beautiful photos inspired by the 
Brothers Grimm fairy tales.






Today, Sept 5, in
1698 Russia's Peter the Great imposed a tax on beards. 
1774 The first session of the U.S. Continental Congress 
 convened in Philadelphia. The delegates drafted a declaration 
 of rights and grievances, organized the Continental Association, 
 and elected Peyton Randolph as the first president of the 
 Continental Congress. 
1793 In France, the "Reign of Terror" began. The National 
 Convention enacted measures to repress the French Revolutionary 
 activities. 
1836 Sam Houston was elected as the first president of the 
 Republic of Texas. 
1877 Sioux chief Crazy Horse was killed by the bayonet of a 
 U.S. soldier. The chief allegedly resisted confinement to a 
 jail cell. 
1881 The American Red Cross provided relief for disaster for 
 the first time. The disaster was the Great Fire of 1881 in Michigan. 
1882 The first U.S. Labor Day parade was held in New York City. 
1885 Jake Gumper bought the first gasoline pump to be manufactured 
 in the U.S. 
1900 France proclaimed a protectorate over Chad. 
1905 The Treaty of Portsmouth was signed by Russia and Japan to end 
 the Russo-Japanese War. The settlement was mediated by U.S. President 
 Theodore Roosevelt in New Hampshire. 
1914 The Battle of the Marne began. The Germans, British and French 
 fought for six days killing half a million people. 
1917 Federal raids were carried out in 24 cities on International 
 Workers of the World (IWW) headquarters. The raids were prompted by 
 suspected anti-war activities within the labor organization. 
1930 Charles Creighton and James Hagris completed the drive from 
 New York City to Los Angeles and back to New York City all in 
 reverse gear. The trip took 42 days in their 1929 Ford Model A. 
1939 The U.S. proclaimed its neutrality in World War II. 
1945 Iva Toguri D'Aquino was arrested. D'Aquino was suspected of 
 being the wartime radio propagandist "Tokyo Rose". She served 
 six years and was later pardoned by U.S. President Ford. 
1953 The first privately operated atomic reactor opened in 
 Raleigh, NC. 
1958 Boris Pasternak's "Doctor Zhivago" was published for the 
 first time in the U.S. 
1960 Cassius Clay of Louisville, KY, won the gold medal in light 
 heavyweight boxing at the Olympic Games in Rome, Italy. Clay 
 later changed his name to Muhammad Ali. 
1961 The U.S. government made airline hijacking a federal offense. 
1977 The U.S. launched Voyager . 
1980 The St. Gothard Tunnel opened in Switzerland. It is the world's 
 longest highway tunnel at 10.14 miles long. 
1982 Eddie Hill set a propeller-driven boat water speed record 
 when he reached 229 mph. 
1983 U.S. President Reagan denounced the Soviet Union for shooting 
 down a Korean Air Lines. Reagan demanded that the Soviet Union 
 pay reparations for the act that killed 269 people. 
1983 "Sports Illustrated" became the first national weekly magazine 
 to use four-color process illustrations on every page. 
1984 The space shuttle Discovery landed after its maiden voyage. 
1984 Mortimer Zuckerman purchased the newsmagazine, "U.S. News & 
 World Report" for $163 million. 
1985 Rioting in South Africa spilled into white neighborhoods 
 for the first time. 
1986 NASA launched DOD-1. 
1990 Iraqi President Saddam Hussein urged for a Holy War against 
 the West and former allies. 
1991 Soviet lawmakers created an interim government to usher 
 in the confederation after dissolving the U.S.S.R. The new 
 name the Union of Sovereign States was taken. 
1992 A General Motors Corporation strike ended with a new 
 agreement being approved. Nearly 43,000 workers were on strike. 
1995 France set off an underground nuclear blast in the 
 South Pacific. 
2003 In London, magician David Blaine entered a clear plastic 
 box and then was suspended by a crane over the banks of the 
Thames River. He remained there until October 19 surviving 
 only on water. 
2015  smiled.

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