How accurate is MailWasher? 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, September 9.

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______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Alaska couple arrested for stealing trooper's car Details at Boneheads Today, September 9, 1994 The U.S. agreed to accept about 20,000 Cuban immigrants a year. This was in return for Cuba's promise to halt the flight of refugees. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Jean In the world of hi-tech gadgetry, I've noticed that more and more people who send text messages and emails have long forgotten the art of capital letters. For those of you who fall into this category, please take note of the following statement: "Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse." Is everybody clear on that? ______________________________________________________ Three old ladies were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home. About then an old man walked by, and one of the old ladies said, "We bet we can tell how old you are." The old man said "there ain't no way you can guess it". One of the old ladies said: "Sure we can. Drop your pants!" He did. The old ladies stared at him for a while and then they all piped up and said, "You're 84 years old!" The old man was stunned. "Amazing. How did you guess that?" The old ladies, laughing and slapping their knees, "You told us yesterday". ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ "How long have you been driving without a tail light, buddy?" demanded the policeman. The driver jumped out, ran to the rear of his car, and gave a low moan. His distress was so great that the cop was moved to ease up on him a bit. "Aw, come now," he said, "you don't have to take it so hard. It isn't that serious." "It isn't?" cried the motorist. "What happened to my trailer and my boat and the twelve cases of beer in it? ______________________________________________________
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by 38-year-old Joshua Watford 28-year-old Amber Watford Wasilla, Alaska
Alaska couple arrested for stealing trooper's car A man and woman from Big Lake are wanted by Alaska State Trooper for stealing a Trooper vehicle Wednesday afternoon, the agency says. Troopers say 38-year-old Joshua Watford was being arrested on a warrant at North Shore Pawn, near the intersection of Big Lake Road and North Shore Drive around 2:26 p.m. While Watford was cuffed and secured in the back of the Trooper vehicle, a passing motorist stopped and began talking to the Trooper about an unrelated issue. At that time, 28-year-old Amber Watford got into the driver's seat of the Trooper vehicle and drove away with Joshua Watford in the backseat. The Trooper vehicle was located about an hour later on W. Fireweed Drive, just about a mile away, unoccupied and undamaged. The empty handcuffs were on the back seat. An Anchorage Police Department K-9 unit was called to assist in the search, which also included a trooper helicopter and Wildlife Troopers. The search lasted until about 6:30 p.m. They were arrested by Alaska State Troopers for stealing a Trooper vehicle, around 7:30 pm Thursday. Troopers say in a dispatch, 38-year-old Joshua Watford and 28-year-old Amber Watford were found and arrested in a Wasilla home located on Alvin's Alley. Troopers also found a stolen 2000 Dodge pickup truck at the Wasilla home. It was recovered and returned back to the owner. The Watfords have a reputation in the valley for stealing vehicles and dealing dope.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Bernard Re: Mailwasher Dear Webby, You and quite a few others have favorably mentioned Mailwasher for getting rid of spam. How accurate is it? Bernard Dear Bernard As is, just a fresh installation without any tuning, it is already quite excellent. However, when new, you watch it's RecycleBin, restore mails that it should not have clipped, and either add the senders to the friends list, or make filters. You also make filters for stuff, that it SHOULD have clipped, but didn't. The filters are incredibly versatile. You can use AND, OR, AND-BUT NOT IF, and just about any regular expression, that you can think of. You can also make the filters to EXCUSE mail from friends. So even if a friend mentiones a certain medication, his or her mail does not get dumped. For the action you can specify that it considers the mail legit, adds it to the Friends list, deletes it and adds it to the black list, deletes it automatically on the server, without even showing it's subject line in the preview. Even though MailWasher is great as is, it becomes really effective when you tune it to your own requirements. Making filters is easy. It becomes a war game between you and the spammers. As soon as you detect a pattern, more than one or two spammers using the same schtick, you make a filter, and watch the recycle bin for a few days, to see if it is too trigger-happy and mmurders innocent mails. You can even bounce email. I don't recommend that, since spammers use fake adresses anyway. However, you can use the bounce for your Mother-In-Law, exes, etc. My Mailwasher cheers me every time I see "45 mails, 43 deleted" and only two show up in the preview list. You can get MailWasher at It is good for 3 machines, and has a 90 day money back guarantee. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ >From Bob On a recent flight we were given gourmet brownies and cookies. Not hungry, I decided to save them for later, so I placed them in the air-sickness bag that they so kindly provide, though in the last 30 years I have never seen anybody use them for anything other than saving un-eaten food for later, usually to eat while hiding in a quiet corner of the airport and having a smoke or two during the wait for the next plane. When I exited the plane a stewardess asked me: "Sir, would you like me to dispose of that for you?" As usual, I grinned and told her: "Oh, No! I'm saving it for my wife!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Use Pantyhose to Catch Washing Machine Lint A washing machine repairman told me to put a pantyhose leg on the pipe that drains into our slop sink. I was surprised to see how much lint it caught. All that lint would eventually clog our drain, and plumbers are expensive! I also have a mesh filter in the drain itself. I use the good leg from a ripped pair of pantyhose. I also go to garage sales and buy pantyhose for a good price, so I always have some on hand. Source: Washing machine repairman By Judy Pariser S. [28] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ offered to care for the eight-year-old daughter of her next-door neighbor. arrived in time to prepare breakfast and laid a generous helping of bacon and eggs in front of the child. "Mother always serves hot biscuits for breakfast," said the eight-year-old. So, , very eager to oblige, hurried into the kitchen and quickly prepared a plate of hot biscuits and laid them in front of the girl. "No, thank you," she said. "But I thought you said your mother always prepares hot biscuits for breakfast!" said in surprise. "She does," said the child. "But I don't eat them." ___________________________________________________

Spock was an Indian before he was a Vulcan
____________________________________________________ One day a boy and his father were at the dining room table working on the boy's Social Studies homework, the chapter about government. The boy turned to his father and asked, "Dad, how many people work in the U.S. government?" Without hesitation, his father said, "Oh, about a quarter of them." ____________________________________________________
James Doran Webb's book of some of his driftwood sculptures.

Today, Sept 9, in
490 B.C. The Battle of Marathon took place between the 
 invading Persian army and the Athenian Army.
1776 The second Continental Congress officially made the 
 term "United States", replacing the previous term 
 "United Colonies." 
1836 Abraham Lincoln received his license to practice law. 
1850 California became the 31st state to join the union. 
1904 Mounted police were used for the first time in the 
 City of New York. 
1911 Italy declared war on the Ottoman Turks and annexed 
 Libya, Tripolitania, and Cyrenaica in North Africa. 
1919 The majority of Boston's police force went on strike. 
 The force was made up of 1,500 men. 
1919 Alexander Graham Bell and Casey Baldwin's HD-4, a 
 hydrofoil craft, set a world marine speed record. 
1942 Japan dropped incendiaries in an attempt to set fire 
 to the forests in Oregon and Washington. The forest did 
 not ignite. 
1943 During World War II Allied forces landed at Taranto 
 and Salerno. 
1948 North Korea became the People's Democratic Republic 
 of Korea. 
1965 French President Charles de Gaulle announced that 
 France was withdrawing from NATO to protest the domination 
 of the U.S. in the organization. 
1971 Gordie Howe of the Detroit Red Wings retired from the 
 National Hockey League (NHL). 
1981 Nicaragua declared a state of economic emergency and 
 banned strikes. 
1983 The Soviet Union announced that the Korean jetliner 
 that was shot down on September 1, 1983 was not an accident 
 or an error. 
1986 Frank Reed was taken hostage in Lebanon by pro-Iranian 
 kidnappers. The director of a private school in Lebanon 
 was released 44 months later. 
1986 Gennadiy Zakharov was indicted by a New York jury on 
 espionage charges. Zakharov was a Soviet United Nations employee. 
1993 Israeli and PLO leaders agreed to recognize each other. 
1994 The U.S. agreed to accept about 20,000 Cuban immigrants 
 a year. This was in return for Cuba's promise to halt the 
 flight of refugees. 
1994 The space shuttle Discovery blasted off on an 11-day 
1997 Sinn Fein, the IRA's political ally, formally renounced 
 violence as it took its place in talks on Northern 
 Ireland's future. 
1998 Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr delivered to the U.S. 
 Congress 36 boxes of material concerning his investigation 
 of U.S. President Clinton. 
1998 Four tourists who had paid $32,500 each were taken in 
 a submarine to view the wreckage of the Titanic. The ship 
 is 2 miles below the Atlantic off Newfoundland. 
1999 The Sega Dreamcast game system went on sale. By 1:00pm 
 all Toys R Us locations in the U.S. had sold out. 
2008 The iTunes Music Store reached 100 million applications 
2009 The iTunes Music Store reached 1.8 billion applications 
2014 Apple unveiled the iPhone 6, iPhone 6 Plus, Apple Watch, 
 Apple Watch Sport and Apple Watch Edition. 
2015  smiled.

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